Keep her or kick her ass to the curb?

[PRW63]

Men, this is why we screen for exes before giving her exclusivity. @TheProspect and I discussed methods for this in a previous thread.

Unless they are 12yo,...they all have Ex's,...heck the 12yo's probably do for that matter. I don't worry about it. Youtube has 100's of "How to get an Ex back" videos. The reason is because most Ex's are obsessed with the chick that dumped them (rejection breeds obsession). But they are Ex's for a reason.
95% of those guys never get their Ex back no matter how much they lurk around, call her, text her. The harder they try the worse they look to her. They eventually burn out and disappear. So the odds are in my favor 95-to-5. I also use the Ex as a tool to test her. I want her to be tempted to see how she responds. If she keeps giving him the time of day then she is out,...problem solved. So they are not a threat to me,...all those Ex's can do is help me dodge a bullet.

There is no way they can steal her from me if I am the better guy and if she is worth my trouble. So I just see it as "I can't loose".

 

[captain55]

OP is treating this female like she's supposed to have an honor system like men.

I’m hurt honestly. But being an ******* to her isn’t going to change anything. What happened happened. It’s been 3 days s

No she called the ex!

Her friend called the ex. They are best friends. She told me this weeks ago (that they are best friends). Part of me thinks her value system is messed up. I don’t like the fact that

You already screwed the pouche. Having the tantrum, grabbing the phone, cussing the guy out, and throwing her stuff out of your apartment was a childish HighSchool kind of reaction. Shows you live in fear. It was all over a simple phone call that she didn't initate, to a guy that she knew 4 years ago,...from a place not in the immediate area. If you were solid in your confidence you would not have been shaken by it and would have just told her it was time to get off the phone (or maybe tell her to give it back to her friend that called the guy in the first place) and that would have been the end of it. From her perspective she could see this as an example of what she has to look forward to more of in the future,...so she will move on.

I knew what I was doing. I would not have acted like this with a girl I was afraid of losing who I had been dating 6 months. I wanted her to leave which is why I threw her **** out but she refused to leave.

I’m mad this happened, but I don’t regret what I said or how I acted at all. Not trying to defend myself but a girl with me for only a month doesn’t deserve a sit down conversation with me in a situation like that.

If it was a year in or something I would of never went off like that obviously. My tolerance level is just at 0 right now I’m very focused on business and I don’t want to miss out on experiences with other beautiful women unless they girl I’m with can be trusted.

 

[TheNewStyle123]

The real question is, why was her friend calling her ex boyfriend that late at night? Did you ever get those details? Seems a little suspect to me....

 

[PRW63]

The real question is, why was her friend calling her ex boyfriend that late at night? Did you ever get those details? Seems a little suspect to me....

It's chicks at a bar late at night. That is what drunk chicks at bars late at night do,...they call people,...they have drama,...they say "OMG" a lot. Her friend was supposed to be "BFFs" with the guy. That means he is deep in the Friend Zone. He is a Beta Orbiter. We should feel sorry for him. He should come here for help so we can tell him to stop talking to drunk chicks at a bar late at night when he should be at the bar with them doing something useful.

 

[Brassneck]

The real question is, why was her friend calling her ex boyfriend that late at night? Did you ever get those details? Seems a little suspect to me...

It’s Boll@&ks, doesn’t add up, she called the Ex!

 

[captain55]

i think she’s also insecure and feels like she can’t keep me because every time we go out she sees hot women hitting on me or trying to talk to me. I’m also not the best texter, I disappear sometimes for 5-5

The real question is, why was her friend calling her ex boyfriend that late at night? Did you ever get those details? Seems a little suspect to me....

I wondered the same thing. Her friend made some comments about me being handsome/cute. Me thinks she was jealous and trying to sabotage the relationship possibly. I did ask my chick “why are you friends with Her if she’s disrespecting us like this and why would she call him”

im at a point where I just don’t have time for this bull****. I had a friend in town and he’s in the middle of all this drama and it ruined our weekend

 

[captain55]

i think she’s also insecure and feels like she can’t keep me because every time we go out she sees hot women hitting on me or trying to talk to me. I’m also not the best texter, I disappear sometimes for 5-5

The real question is, why was her friend calling her ex boyfriend that late at night? Did you ever get those details? Seems a little suspect to me....

I wondered the same thing. Her friend made some comments about me being handsome/cute. Me thinks she was jealous and trying to sabotage the relationship possibly. I did ask my chick “why are you friends with Her if she’s disrespecting us like this and why would she call him”

im at a point where I just don’t have time for this bull****.

It's chicks at a bar late at night. That is what drunk chicks at bars late at night do,...they call people,...they have drama,...they say "OMG" a lot. Her friend was supposed to be "BFFs" with the guy. That means he is deep in the Friend Zone. He is a Beta Orbiter. We should feel sorry for him. He should come here for help so we can tell him to stop talking to drunk chicks at a bar late at night when he should be at the bar with them doing something useful.

she did say that the guy is a joke to her. I picked up the phone and told him “I’m ****ing your ***** ex balls deep every night you can have her back when I’m done with her”

and she did end up ****ing the **** out of me later that night so..he would be the ultimate beta to try to pursue her now.

 

[captain55]

It's chicks at a bar late at night. That is what drunk chicks at bars late at night do,...they call people,...they have drama,...they say "OMG" a lot. Her friend was supposed to be "BFFs" with the guy. That means he is deep in the Friend Zone. He is a Beta Orbiter. We should feel sorry for him. He should come here for help so we can tell him to stop talking to drunk chicks at a bar late at night when he should be at the bar with them doing something useful.

the pathetic **** asked her out for drinks this summer 5 months ago. So the guys smv obviously isn’t high. But that’s irrelevant. The chick is insecure because she sees women hitting on me all the time.
But having higher smv doesn’t make you immune to her cheating...just like there are beautiful women that get cheated on by guys with **** smv happens all the time ...

 

[captain55]

So she hasn't been with him in 4 years, but 5 months ago he tried to re establish something. Knowing this she still gets on the phone with him while drunk? It sounds like she had a moment of weakness where she was entertaining his advances.

Yep. 100%. She fully admitted she entertained it and was wrong for it but that she wants me and to be with me and wants to marry me and have a family with me. I tried to throw her out like I said but she refused to leave and said I’m not cheating on you but what I did was wrong and I’m sorry.

The only reason I let her back in my apartment after i threw her stuff out is because part of me felt like it would be rediculous to walk away from a chick that was entertaining a convo with a guy she hasn’t seen in years.

 

[spikeanut]

I’m hurt honestly. ..... Not trying to defend myself but a girl with me for only a month doesn’t deserve a sit down conversation with me in a situation like that.

OP, you're all over the place in your posts. There has been great advice and insight provided in the replies thus far, but your confirmation bias towards this situation prevents you from seeing anything that goes against your already made up mind.

First problem is you're already "exclusive" with a girl after one month. That is nothing. You giving in to her exclusivity demands after dating for merely a month already shows your scarcity mindset and potential oneitis for this girl. Then you do all kinds of mental gymnastics to try to convince everyone how unattached you are to her, and merely with her because the sex is so amazing. No level of sex or perceived high interest from a woman would ever win over my exclusivity after merely a month of dating. That's just showing your desparation for a relationship and is probably why you're in this situation in the first place.

Secondly, it doesn't matter who initiated the call, the fact that what you heard was her rationalizing why "this time would be any different" to an ex, indicates she did not immediately shut him down out of respect for your relationship with her. 4 years of no contact, distance, etc, has no relevance on the matter. Again, your confirmation bias of trying to see her as a "good girl" is poisoning your rational and logical male mind from seeing the blatant disrespect of the situation. No woman is a "good girl" completely. You should absolutely want a woman to be "afraid" of disrespecting you. Her fear of losing you should be the utmost factor in weighing her actions to be a "good girl." That is what a healthy interaction between a man a woman is...the woman's fear of losing her high value man.

Thirdly, your reaction to the situation reveals that you are not in your full masculine mindset. As other have said, your over reaction is a direct indicator of your internalized self worth and self confidence. Again, you try to justify and argue with everyone stating you don't regret what happens or how she perceives it. That's not the problem. The problem is you allowed yourself to react that way which truly shows how insecure you are with yourself and with this relationship.

Finally OP, based on your continued replies and justifications, it's quite apparent you aren't ready for a serious relationship, especially not with this girl. This "relationship" is doomed. If these issues are already apparent after merely a month of dating, there is very slim hope it will flourish into a healthy LTR. Distance yourself from the definitely forthcoming heartache with this woman; work on your self growth; and truly look deep down to see why you have the internal self esteem issues you most definitely do. This forum is all for each person's self improvement through their RP journey, however, you must be open to the advice and help provided. Good luck to you OP.

 

[captain55]

OP, you're all over the place in your posts. There has been great advice and insight provided in the replies thus far, but your confirmation bias towards this situation prevents you from seeing anything that goes against your already made up mind.

First problem is you're already "exclusive" with a girl after one month. That is nothing. You giving in to her exclusivity demands after dating for merely a month already shows your scarcity mindset and potential oneitis for this girl. Then you do all kinds of mental gymnastics to try to convince everyone how unattached you are to her, and merely with her because the sex is so amazing. No level of sex or perceived high interest from a woman would ever win over my exclusivity after merely a month of dating. That's just showing your desparation for a relationship and is probably why you're in this situation in the first place.

Secondly, it doesn't matter who initiated the call, the fact that what you heard was her rationalizing why "this time would be any different" to an ex, indicates she did not immediately shut him down out of respect for your relationship with her. 4 years of no contact, distance, etc, has no relevance on the matter. Again, your confirmation bias of trying to see her as a "good girl" is poisoning your rational and logical male mind from seeing the blatant disrespect of the situation. No woman is a "good girl" completely. You should absolutely want a woman to be "afraid" of disrespecting you. Her fear of losing you should be the utmost factor in weighing her actions to be a "good girl." That is what a healthy interaction between a man a woman is...the woman's fear of losing her high value man.

Thirdly, your reaction to the situation reveals that you are not in your full masculine mindset. As other have said, your over reaction is a direct indicator of your internalized self worth and self confidence. Again, you try to justify and argue with everyone stating you don't regret what happens or how she perceives it. That's not the problem. The problem is you allowed yourself to react that way which truly shows how insecure you are with yourself and with this relationship.

Finally OP, based on your continued replies and justifications, it's quite apparent you aren't ready for a serious relationship, especially not with this girl. This "relationship" is doomed. If these issues are already apparent after merely a month of dating, there is very slim hope it will flourish into a healthy LTR. Distance yourself from the definitely forthcoming heartache with this woman; work on your self growth; and truly look deep down to see why you have the internal self esteem issues you most definitely do. This forum is all for each person's self improvement through their RP journey, however, you must be open to the advice and help provided. Good luck to you OP.

Brother I never asked her to be exclusive she asked me! I wanted to keep things casual with her, she was chasing me, everything was perfect. I had multiple plates spinning and was happier than hell being a single man banging her a few times a week. I knew eventually she was going to want a title so I kept dodging the question as long as possible. About Two months into this, She caught me on a date with another hot ass chick at a restatement that was hot as **** and told me “I thought we were together. I’m sitting here shutting down guys down left and right because of you. I’m not going to continue to have sex with you if your going to entertain other women“

I was having great sex with her and enjoyed the company with her. She never flaked, she was great in bed and was putting in a lot of effort to see me my driving 2 hours at a time to see me so I said ok.

yes it would of been “alpha” to not give in to her demands, but I was happy with what I was getting so I did. And now she ****ed that up. And is worried I’m going to cheat on her now out of spite.

I have only stopped spinning plates for several weeks, I can shoot her a text saying let’s slow things down for a while I want to see other people.

no matter how you slice it, what she did ****ed the vibe up.

when she told me she wanted to marry me and have a family with me and all this stuff. I asked her “why would you do something so ****ing stupid then?”

 

[captain55]

Mixed responses. Some of you guys saying to let it slide and it wasn’t a big deal and half of you are saying kick her ass to the curb. Leaving her could be seen as alpha or beta depending on how you look at it. Right now I just know that I’m angry as hell and don’t know what to believe with her. The story makes sense, but I just don’t know if she is telling the truth with having no intentions on meeting the ex. I don’t know what to believe. I never once thought about her talking to other guys really, jealousy was never an issue with her

 

[Lookatu]

OP, you're all over the place in your posts. There has been great advice and insight provided in the replies thus far, but your confirmation bias towards this situation prevents you from seeing anything that goes against your already made up mind.

First problem is you're already "exclusive" with a girl after one month. That is nothing. You giving in to her exclusivity demands after dating for merely a month already shows your scarcity mindset and potential oneitis for this girl. Then you do all kinds of mental gymnastics to try to convince everyone how unattached you are to her, and merely with her because the sex is so amazing. No level of sex or perceived high interest from a woman would ever win over my exclusivity after merely a month of dating. That's just showing your desparation for a relationship and is probably why you're in this situation in the first place.

Secondly, it doesn't matter who initiated the call, the fact that what you heard was her rationalizing why "this time would be any different" to an ex, indicates she did not immediately shut him down out of respect for your relationship with her. 4 years of no contact, distance, etc, has no relevance on the matter. Again, your confirmation bias of trying to see her as a "good girl" is poisoning your rational and logical male mind from seeing the blatant disrespect of the situation. No woman is a "good girl" completely. You should absolutely want a woman to be "afraid" of disrespecting you. Her fear of losing you should be the utmost factor in weighing her actions to be a "good girl." That is what a healthy interaction between a man a woman is...the woman's fear of losing her high value man.

Thirdly, your reaction to the situation reveals that you are not in your full masculine mindset. As other have said, your over reaction is a direct indicator of your internalized self worth and self confidence. Again, you try to justify and argue with everyone stating you don't regret what happens or how she perceives it. That's not the problem. The problem is you allowed yourself to react that way which truly shows how insecure you are with yourself and with this relationship.

Finally OP, based on your continued replies and justifications, it's quite apparent you aren't ready for a serious relationship, especially not with this girl. This "relationship" is doomed. If these issues are already apparent after merely a month of dating, there is very slim hope it will flourish into a healthy LTR. Distance yourself from the definitely forthcoming heartache with this woman; work on your self growth; and truly look deep down to see why you have the internal self esteem issues you most definitely do. This forum is all for each person's self improvement through their RP journey, however, you must be open to the advice and help provided. Good luck to you OP.

Fawk man, I'm glad you had the time and inclination to type this out. I sure as hell didn't want to.

 

[Lookatu]

Mixed responses. Some of you guys saying to let it slide and it wasn’t a big deal and half of you are saying kick her ass to the curb. Leaving her could be seen as alpha or beta depending on how you look at it. Right now I just know that I’m angry as hell and don’t know what to believe with her

Trust is what is needed to be exclusive. If you can't trust her, let her know that and tell her you can't be exclusive. It goes both ways. Unfortunately, it seems like she has weak standards and low self esteem.

Also one shouldn't control the other like a slave in a healthy relationship. If you feel this way or someone is trying to control the other, it's not healthy.

The fact that you were messing around with other girls, I think your projecting those types of behaviors onto others just because you did it and hence the reason why you acted the way you did.

As someone else said, I don't think you're ready for a relationship and you should just keep it light and fun for now. If you lose her because of not wanting one, then so be it. There's many others out there. My $.02

 

[captain55]

Fawk man, I'm glad you had the time and inclination to type this out. I sure as hell didn't want to.

At some point you have to take a chance with people man. What bothers me is this chick is always blowing me up when I’m out worrying about other chicks hitting on me, and then goes and does this behind my back. I never once questioned where she was or who she was with. The thought of her cheating or being taken from me NEVER crossed my mind. I don’t even care to know her social media. I go by a girls actions. If a chick is blowing me up calling me, giving me great sex, never flaking, putting in most of the effort she usually doesn’t crave another man. That is why this is so shocking to me.

That same night she was talking about all the dirty things she is going to do with me in bed. But talks to her ex when I’m passed out? Where do I draw the line between a sociopath and a girl that was just drunk and in a bad position?

I agree fully I am acting insecure now but I’m a human being and have a reason too. I’m 28, my smv is high but im not getting younger. I don’t want to invest in the wrong person while I can still attract young hot Women

 

[Lookatu]

At some point you have to take a chance with people man. What bothers me is this chick is always blowing me up when I’m out worrying about other chicks hitting on me, and then goes and does this behind my back. I never once questioned where she was or who she was with. The thought of her cheating or being taken from me NEVER crossed my mind. I don’t even care to know her social media. I go by a girls actions. If a chick is blowing me up calling me, giving me great sex, never flaking, putting in most of the effort she usually doesn’t crave another man. That is why this is so shocking to me.

Yeah I get that you have to take chances but you also got to play it smart. Agreeing to go exclusive to a girl that brought that up is way too soon and you are doing it on her timeframe. Not when you're both comfortable and ready. You're seeing what can come about when you commit too fast.

To me, it sounds like she's insecure and might be using sex to lock you down.

Ask yourself, outside of her giving you good sex, what else does she offer that lifts you up or enhances your life? Then ask yourself the opposite on what are things that brings you down and diminishes your life because of her? You tend to think more clearly without the pvssy equation.

 

[EyeBRollin]

Failure to negotiate properly. When a woman brings up exclusivity, make her wait at least a week. Then when she brings it up the second time, you ask her about how many guys she is currently dating, how many guy friends she has, and if she still communicates with exes. Also demand to see her social media pages. You have to find out the full extent of her (attention) whvring before agreeing to anything.

Anything other than compliance your answer is “let’s just keep things the way they currently are.”

 

[Lookatu]

Failure to negotiate properly. When a woman brings up exclusivity, make her wait at least a week. Then when she brings it up the second time, you ask her about how many guys she is currently dating, how many guy friends she has, and if she still communicates with exes. Also demand to see her social media pages. You have to find out the full extent of her (attention) whvring before agreeing to anything.

Anything other than compliance your answer is “let’s just keep things the way they currently are.”

This is a solid post.
The terms though can be and should be modified to individuals preference.

 

[spikeanut]

At some point you have to take a chance with people man. What bothers me is this chick is always blowing me up when I’m out worrying about other chicks hitting on me, and then goes and does this behind my back. I never once questioned where she was or who she was with. The thought of her cheating or being taken from me NEVER crossed my mind. I don’t even care to know her social media. I go by a girls actions. If a chick is blowing me up calling me, giving me great sex, never flaking, putting in most of the effort she usually doesn’t crave another man. That is why this is so shocking to me.

That same night she was talking about all the dirty things she is going to do with me in bed. But talks to her ex when I’m passed out? Where do I draw the line between a sociopath and a girl that was just drunk and in a bad position?

I agree fully I am acting insecure now but I’m a human being and have a reason too. I’m 28, my smv is high but im not getting younger. I don’t want to invest in the wrong person while I can still attract young hot Women

She is Love Bombing, end of story. No sane woman talks about marriage after a month. You actually entertaining those thoughts reveals she is in absolute control of the relationship. You've been warned OP; good luck.

 

[captain55]

She is Love Bombing, end of story. No sane woman talks about marriage after a month. You actually entertaining those thoughts reveals she is in absolute control of the relationship. You've been warned OP; good luck.

So what do I do man? Im thinking about literally emotionally detaching, and just telling her “listen after what we went through I want to see eachother casually for a while. It’s what I’m comfortable with. This is the way it is so let me know”

Just keep her around as a plate to **** with no strings attached. I can go back to seeing other women and she can stay out of my damn business. We can **** and have a good time that’s it. If she sees other guys oh well I don’t want to know.

what you think ?