I apologize for intruding in what appears to be a for-guys-only kind of forum, but I need a little male insight on my situation. I've been working with this guy for several months. We get along great and have what I consider a natural chemistry. Anyway, we flirt quite a bit...so much that our co-workers have made comments. My question is how do you tell the difference between a guy who just enjoys flirting for the fun of it and a guy who may actually be interested in something more?
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Just Wondering...
- Thread starter someone
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Cheiradawg
Master Don Juan
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If he asks you out, then he wants something more.
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
Some guys are insecure and don't ask you out unless they get a signal from you. If you're interested, flirt back and show interest. If not, just act like you're not interested. Simple as that. Don't play with him though....show interest and sometimes even be active about it.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
I'm sure, unless he's totally sure of himself (but he woulda asked you by then... so no), that he visits sites like this....or others...and reads about signs of high interest.
Probably do a search on "kino" or "kinesthetics." Smile a lot, but not freaky. Touch him...like brushing once in a while. Slowly get more touchy. Seriously a girl shouldn't have to do all this, and he should be making a move if you. But yea...most guys need a little nudge.
After a convo or something, just say you enjoyed it or whatnot. Do a search at www.msn.com for signs of interest from a woman....and do them. BUT BE WARNED. If you're not doing these things naturally...are you really attracted to the guy? If you like goin slow, go slow. Its always the guys job to ask even though we are thoroughly tired of it. Good luck.
Probably do a search on "kino" or "kinesthetics." Smile a lot, but not freaky. Touch him...like brushing once in a while. Slowly get more touchy. Seriously a girl shouldn't have to do all this, and he should be making a move if you. But yea...most guys need a little nudge.
After a convo or something, just say you enjoyed it or whatnot. Do a search at www.msn.com for signs of interest from a woman....and do them. BUT BE WARNED. If you're not doing these things naturally...are you really attracted to the guy? If you like goin slow, go slow. Its always the guys job to ask even though we are thoroughly tired of it. Good luck.
E-Z Rider
Master Don Juan
Hell, if you're really interested in this guy, you might try to bait him into asking you out.
Now, usually you wouldn't have to do this, but if this guy doesn't get hints easily (and a lot of guys don't...) then it's worth a shot.
A chick I really liked actually did this. I was worried if she liked me or not. This was a few yrs ago of course.
We talked and had chemistry in school. We ended up talking on the internet. (yeah, whatever). I told her about this concert I was going to for the summer. I think I wanted her to come but was too scared to ask. She responded and said she'd really love to go. So of course, I said that would be no problem
Now what she did was kinda forward for a girl. It is kind of like 'inviting yourself', which a lot of people won't do. But it sure as hell worked out for her. Her saying that made it 1000x easier for me to get a hint and ask her to come along.
After that point, I had more confidence altogether and asked her out on a few dates.
I was still kinda shy, so she ended up kissing me first. Blew my mind
Damn I learned a lot from that relationship...
---
So that is what you may have to do. Kind of bait him into asking you to go somewhere. That should get him on the ball if he likes you, without you being way too forward. If he seems like he likes you but is too shy to make any moves (like kiss you...), kissing him is not a bad thing, but from a girl the first kiss should just be a little peck (at least with a shy guy- you still want to be kind of coy).
If the chap still doesn't get the hint, he either doesn't like you or is hopeless.
Hope this helps you- -E-Z
Now, usually you wouldn't have to do this, but if this guy doesn't get hints easily (and a lot of guys don't...) then it's worth a shot.
A chick I really liked actually did this. I was worried if she liked me or not. This was a few yrs ago of course.
We talked and had chemistry in school. We ended up talking on the internet. (yeah, whatever). I told her about this concert I was going to for the summer. I think I wanted her to come but was too scared to ask. She responded and said she'd really love to go. So of course, I said that would be no problem
Now what she did was kinda forward for a girl. It is kind of like 'inviting yourself', which a lot of people won't do. But it sure as hell worked out for her. Her saying that made it 1000x easier for me to get a hint and ask her to come along.
After that point, I had more confidence altogether and asked her out on a few dates.
I was still kinda shy, so she ended up kissing me first. Blew my mind
Damn I learned a lot from that relationship...
---
So that is what you may have to do. Kind of bait him into asking you to go somewhere. That should get him on the ball if he likes you, without you being way too forward. If he seems like he likes you but is too shy to make any moves (like kiss you...), kissing him is not a bad thing, but from a girl the first kiss should just be a little peck (at least with a shy guy- you still want to be kind of coy).
If the chap still doesn't get the hint, he either doesn't like you or is hopeless.
Hope this helps you- -E-Z