I apologize for intruding in what appears to be a for-guys-only kind of forum, but I need a little male insight on my situation. I've been working with this guy for several months. We get along great and have what I consider a natural chemistry. Anyway, we flirt quite a bit...so much that our co-workers have made comments. My question is how do you tell the difference between a guy who just enjoys flirting for the fun of it and a guy who may actually be interested in something more?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Just Wondering...
- Thread starter someone
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Cheiradawg
Master Don Juan
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If he asks you out, then he wants something more.
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
Some guys are insecure and don't ask you out unless they get a signal from you. If you're interested, flirt back and show interest. If not, just act like you're not interested. Simple as that. Don't play with him though....show interest and sometimes even be active about it.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
AFK Protector
Master Don Juan
I'm sure, unless he's totally sure of himself (but he woulda asked you by then... so no), that he visits sites like this....or others...and reads about signs of high interest.
Probably do a search on "kino" or "kinesthetics." Smile a lot, but not freaky. Touch him...like brushing once in a while. Slowly get more touchy. Seriously a girl shouldn't have to do all this, and he should be making a move if you. But yea...most guys need a little nudge.
After a convo or something, just say you enjoyed it or whatnot. Do a search at www.msn.com for signs of interest from a woman....and do them. BUT BE WARNED. If you're not doing these things naturally...are you really attracted to the guy? If you like goin slow, go slow. Its always the guys job to ask even though we are thoroughly tired of it. Good luck.
Probably do a search on "kino" or "kinesthetics." Smile a lot, but not freaky. Touch him...like brushing once in a while. Slowly get more touchy. Seriously a girl shouldn't have to do all this, and he should be making a move if you. But yea...most guys need a little nudge.
After a convo or something, just say you enjoyed it or whatnot. Do a search at www.msn.com for signs of interest from a woman....and do them. BUT BE WARNED. If you're not doing these things naturally...are you really attracted to the guy? If you like goin slow, go slow. Its always the guys job to ask even though we are thoroughly tired of it. Good luck.
E-Z Rider
Master Don Juan
Hell, if you're really interested in this guy, you might try to bait him into asking you out.
Now, usually you wouldn't have to do this, but if this guy doesn't get hints easily (and a lot of guys don't...) then it's worth a shot.
A chick I really liked actually did this. I was worried if she liked me or not. This was a few yrs ago of course.
We talked and had chemistry in school. We ended up talking on the internet. (yeah, whatever). I told her about this concert I was going to for the summer. I think I wanted her to come but was too scared to ask. She responded and said she'd really love to go. So of course, I said that would be no problem
Now what she did was kinda forward for a girl. It is kind of like 'inviting yourself', which a lot of people won't do. But it sure as hell worked out for her. Her saying that made it 1000x easier for me to get a hint and ask her to come along.
After that point, I had more confidence altogether and asked her out on a few dates.
I was still kinda shy, so she ended up kissing me first. Blew my mind
Damn I learned a lot from that relationship...
---
So that is what you may have to do. Kind of bait him into asking you to go somewhere. That should get him on the ball if he likes you, without you being way too forward. If he seems like he likes you but is too shy to make any moves (like kiss you...), kissing him is not a bad thing, but from a girl the first kiss should just be a little peck (at least with a shy guy- you still want to be kind of coy).
If the chap still doesn't get the hint, he either doesn't like you or is hopeless.
Hope this helps you- -E-Z
Now, usually you wouldn't have to do this, but if this guy doesn't get hints easily (and a lot of guys don't...) then it's worth a shot.
A chick I really liked actually did this. I was worried if she liked me or not. This was a few yrs ago of course.
We talked and had chemistry in school. We ended up talking on the internet. (yeah, whatever). I told her about this concert I was going to for the summer. I think I wanted her to come but was too scared to ask. She responded and said she'd really love to go. So of course, I said that would be no problem
Now what she did was kinda forward for a girl. It is kind of like 'inviting yourself', which a lot of people won't do. But it sure as hell worked out for her. Her saying that made it 1000x easier for me to get a hint and ask her to come along.
After that point, I had more confidence altogether and asked her out on a few dates.
I was still kinda shy, so she ended up kissing me first. Blew my mind
Damn I learned a lot from that relationship...
---
So that is what you may have to do. Kind of bait him into asking you to go somewhere. That should get him on the ball if he likes you, without you being way too forward. If he seems like he likes you but is too shy to make any moves (like kiss you...), kissing him is not a bad thing, but from a girl the first kiss should just be a little peck (at least with a shy guy- you still want to be kind of coy).
If the chap still doesn't get the hint, he either doesn't like you or is hopeless.
Hope this helps you- -E-Z