Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Just dumped my gf

Technics

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We are apart at the moment due to her having to spend 2 weeks in South America for her work. I find out from her that her and her girl work friends had some drinks and then went out to a Tango dancing club (very touristy place) and that she was learning to Tango dance with other men (not instructors, but random guys).

So I broke up with her.

Did I do the right thing?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Starwolf

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she's probably not marriage material as she's still looking to have some fun with other men..

I would not have dumped her immediately... instead keep my eyes open and let her know I don't approve of that sh!t.

if she objects and still thinks she should be able to go out with her friends and dance with other guys! Then I move on or stop taking the relationship serious.
 

Technics

Don Juan
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I thought you weren't meant to call womens bad behaviour out? But instead use ACTIONS to demonstrate when they have disrespected the relationship? ie. withdrawing attention or walking away.
 

Dhoulmagus

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Starwolf said:
she's probably not marriage material as she's still looking to have some fun with other men..

I would not have dumped her immediately... instead keep my eyes open and let her know I don't approve of that sh!t.

if she objects and still thinks she should be able to go out with her friends and dance with other guys! Then I move on or stop taking the relationship serious.
a ticking time bomb at that point
 

Starwolf

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I can see that being appropriate in the early stages. like a first or second date or when they flake on you... u don't waste time on that.

But when in a LTR you have invested some time.. u r taking it serious so calling them out on certain behavior is needed to set your frame and make your boundaries clear.

Don't try to control her or something. Just make sure she knows what you are about and that you will move on if she does not like it.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Starwolf

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Dhoulmagus said:
a ticking time bomb at that point

Maybe so, but it could have been the OP's fault for not setting the right frame.


have you ever heard some women say to their friends after seeing some crazy sh!t "Oh, my man would never let me do that" or something similar.

it's because they know the BF doesn't tolerate Sh!t that is out of line.
 

Trump

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Technics said:
I thought you weren't meant to call womens bad behaviour out? But instead use ACTIONS to demonstrate when they have disrespected the relationship? ie. withdrawing attention or walking away.
You have to call them out bro, otherwise she'll think she is dealing with an aloof guy who doesn't care about anything.

The easiest thing to do is to walk away, you have to deal with it straight on. I wouldn't have broken up with her though, you are given away free sex. Would have just kept her on the side since she has just given you the heads up she is not serious girlfriend material. :rolleyes:
 

El Payaso

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Yup. You did the right thing. Best believe she was grinding on them and rubbing her body all over them.
 
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