Just a note to keep everyone sharp

[AmsterdamAssassin]

So it was just oral?

Don't make this a religious discussion...

 

[DreamAgain]

why are you asking the question? Explain why you want to know and then I’ll tell you.

What did marriage offer you that you did not have just keeping her as a girlfriend? Why get the state involved?

 

[BillyPilgrim]

You know I was a Catholic alter boy! . Never had butt sex with the priest tho.

90% sir.

 

[Fruitbat]

What did marriage offer you that you did not have just keeping her as a girlfriend? Why get the state involved?

I didn’t ask for your opinion on marriage.

I’m posting about general management of relationship with a SO.

Comment on that all you like, I’m not sitting on trial because you, or others, want to feel better about yourselves by tearing someone else to shreds.

whatever I answer you know the answer is going to be “you made mistakes and only have yourself to blame” so just post that without the merry-go-round of bollocks beforehand

 

[Scaramouche]

Think the OP just missed awesome opportunity when he skipped socializing with her workmates.
Always join those!
Look your sharpest, have a great positive energy, be life of the party! ..and.. sarge her female co-workers in front of her

When having a change I always sarge her girlfriends/workmates. Of course normally I'd be courteous and refrain only to properly socially calibrated, innocent light flirting. Basically just be the awesome guy that everyone wants to be around. Most chicks really, really love this.
It's clear status boost for her to have awesome man.

But since she was disrespectful to you and hopefully you made it clear to her, I suggest crossing the line. Effin shamelessly kino her workmates in front of her to make the point(calibrated of course).

You could also have a good laugh with her workmates about how she farts when she sleeps ..And remember to tell everyone the story how you once found a skidmarks from her sheets and didn't know what to do and how to tell her..

It's not that she can have a meltdown in front of her workmates..
Later call her miss poopy pants


Well, this opportunity went by, but to sum it up you can have a overt conversation about your boundaries and then be strong at enforcing them.
This is the healthy good guy game.

Other way is to go dark triad on her misbehaving a$$. Never be clear about your boundaries, just sub communicate then and keep her guessing. And when she crosses the line start eroding her self confidence. "Oh, your forehead wrinkles really show in this lighting" This can be more powerful, but of course takes toll on your psyche..
Just an option.

Hi FruitBat,
The best advice for Parties is to grab the Bottle,be the nice guy going round filling all the Ladies Glasses with a witty comment and ever ready to introduce himself.

 

[Fruitbat]

Hi FruitBat,
The best advice for Parties is to grab the Bottle,be the nice guy going round filling all the Ladies Glasses with a witty comment and ever ready to introduce himself.

I see. Spike the drinks…..I have some moral issues with that to be honest.

I suppose if the whole party is in a massive k-hole and I’m sober then I’m going to be the alpha by default.

 

[Scaramouche]

I see. Spike the drinks…..I have some moral issues with that to be honest.

I suppose if the whole party is in a massive k-hole and I’m sober then I’m going to be the alpha by default.

Hi Fruitbat..."Spike the drinks",?????

 

[Fruitbat]

Hi Fruitbat..."Spike the drinks",?????

you said grab the bottle and hand it out to the ladies.
That sounded a bit malevolent

 

[Scaramouche]

you said grab the bottle and hand it out to the ladies.
That sounded a bit malevolent

Hi Fruitbat,
Naah at Paties Soirees,everyone is standing around,sipping a drink having nibbles...Just Find an Open Bottle,mingle around topping everyone up.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Hi Fruitbat,
Naah at Paties Soirees,everyone is standing around,sipping a drink having nibbles...Just Find an Open Bottle,mingle around topping everyone up.

They don't understand that type of behaviour in the US. Either you're a waiter or you're spiking drinks...

 

[BeExcellent]

Hi Fruitbat.

Many of the natives here have no idea about marriage and nuclear family life. It’s best for the children, among other things, and nobody has any business dissing you and your life choices.

With your knowledge of red pill and female nature you are faring better than most.

This is a bratty moment. Women have them at times. You took away your time & attention. That was the correct play here. It was a disrespectful moment. In a marriage or LTR there are on occasion moments when your partner does something that offends your sensibilities. When that happens (or starts becoming more than a “one-off”) you have to reassert boundaries. That is what you did here. That is good.

The issue you may observe with an all female work environment is that your wife is exposed to a bit much feminist go girl rah rah crap. Bad attitudes. This you have to be mindful about. You want your wife to appreciate what she has with you as a husband and father and head of house.

You are a dictator. Best to be a benevolent dictator but a dictator nonetheless. Best to lead without overtly laying down the law. But at times you may need a more direct approach. Reinforce compliance with reward of your time & attention. If she behaves well? Ask her to get a sitter and take her out.

Operant conditioning. You reward the behavior you want to see more of and you discourage by withdrawal the behavior you do not want. It is a fine line at times. There will be occasions when there has to be a conversation. The conversation should be direct and succinct:

“I find it disrespectful when you do (whatever was disrespectful) and I am disappointed about this.”

If warranted (as you thought in this case) you withdraw attention. You refused to go to her work function. That meant she had to give an excuse why you weren’t there, which means she was reminded frequently of your absence. That’s good. If she wants you to join her for things then she needs to be respectful and behave appropriately. I agree with Barrister. I think you handled this well.

Observe & review going forward. If it becomes a trend rather than a one off then you need to more closely evaluate y’all’s interactions & the things around her influencing her behavior.

Happy 2024 & Cheers to you & yours.

 

[DreamAgain]

I didn’t ask for your opinion on marriage.

I’m posting about general management of relationship with a SO.

Comment on that all you like, I’m not sitting on trial because you, or others, want to feel better about yourselves by tearing someone else to shreds.

whatever I answer you know the answer is going to be “you made mistakes and only have yourself to blame” so just post that without the merry-go-round of bollocks beforehand

Why not just answer the question instead of conjuring up this word salad?

 

[Bingo-Player]

The issue you may observe with an all female work environment is that your wife is exposed to a bit much feminist go girl rah rah crap. Bad attitudes. This you have to be mindful about. You want your wife to appreciate what she has with you as a husband and father and head of house.

Just want to add this issue isn't exclusive to a work environment , her friends and even acquaintances can be equally as toxic and you need to screen them as much as you do her

I have a friend who takes this too the extreme by actually accompanying his wife too her girlfriends social engagements I think to keep an eye on the topics of conversation

whilst I wouldn't do this and I find it a bit weird I can see his concern

There's not many women out there whom are in correctly polarised relationships and are completely happy / content some are more than happy to start corrupting other's as a result

I often say this but women are like water they will go in whichever direction a strong current takes them

You must dominate your womens mind , constantly impress your expectations and boundaries dont just assume that because you have been together a long time she couldn't be swayed into a new perspective or line of thought ( which lets be honest is were all disrespect starts )

LTR's are very complex you sort of lose the overriding desire for each other in day to day monotony ,the desire and drive for sex starts to wain for both of you and its very easy to take your eye off the ball

Before you know it , it can be all over

 

[Westminster]

Just want to add this issue isn't exclusive to a work environment , her friends and even acquaintances can be equally as toxic and you need to screen them as much as you do her

I have a friend who takes this too the extreme by actually accompanying his wife too her girlfriends social engagements I think to keep an eye on the topics of conversation

whilst I wouldn't do this and I find it a bit weird I can see his concern

There's not many women out there whom are in correctly polarised relationships and are completely happy / content some are more than happy to start corrupting other's as a result

I often say this but women are like water they will go in whichever direction a strong current takes them

You must dominate your womens mind , constantly impress your expectations and boundaries dont just assume that because you have been together a long time she couldn't be swayed into a new perspective or line of thought ( which lets be honest is were all disrespect starts )

LTR's are very complex you sort of lose the overriding desire for each other in day to day monotony ,the desire and drive for sex starts to wain for both of you and its very easy to take your eye off the ball

Before you know it , it can be all over

Excellent post.

Potential negative influences are everywhere and you need to be alert to them. Ultimately though, there's only so much you can say or do and if a woman is open to bad influences then that's what will happen.

And, I agree, it all comes back to respect - and once you lose that you're in trouble. In fact, I'd go so far as to say that respect is the most important thing in a relationship. Sure, it's nice to have more than that but respect is the bottom line and frankly your relationship is in peril once your wife starts seeking the counsel of others and begins regarding their ideas, views and opinions as better than your own.

It's not acceptable and you should make that clear. If you get push back, then you need to take decisive action. Promptly.

 

[Fruitbat]

They don't understand that type of behaviour in the US. Either you're a waiter or you're spiking drinks...

it would be considered a bit cheesy and false

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

it would be considered a bit cheesy and false

Everything is cheesy and false if you don't do it with the proper attitude.