Just a note to keep everyone sharp

[Fruitbat]

Married and recently my wife has been pushing it a bit. She came home from work recently and was really rude. Usually I brush it off but it was over the line.

Now, this was more of a **** test I feel so there’s a question why…have to keep an eye on that.

Basically I was supposed to come with her the next day to a social function with her work, and I basically said if you’re gonna talk to me like that and expect me to come hang out with you then you can get fked. I’d rather get an early night.

I got a lot of moans that night via text and said basically don’t run your mouth like that if you want me to play nice.

amazingly she said she wouldn’t (didn’t get an apology but hey) and this morning I explained again why I didn’t come, and she’s been super nice to me.

They do love the drama but you got to have a limit. She’s usually tried the “come on, you’re a man, you can’t take some mean words” type thing and I basically said this time “I can take them, but WHY THE F SHOULD I? you’re supposed to be my wife, there’s plenty of women who won’t speak like that”

 

[Westminster]

It's disrespect. Keep an eye on this and what's driving her attitude.

I don't like to be negative, but this sort of behaviour is often the beginning of a slippery slope. Trust me, I've been there.

 

[DreamAgain]

Why did you get married, do you have children with this woman?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

They do love the drama but you got to have a limit. She’s usually tried the “come on, you’re a man, you can’t take some mean words” type thing and I basically said this time “I can take them, but WHY THE F SHOULD I? you’re supposed to be my wife, there’s plenty of women who won’t speak like that”

Yes, you can handle mean words from other people, but from a lover / significant other it's downright disrespectful, so you're absolutely right to feel offended.

 

[Barrister]

Good post, OP.

This site needs more LTR-geared postings like this. Because while the overall rules remain the same for the most part in how you deal with women, somethings do change a bit. I have found that most women in an LTR rarely apologize. Normally, they will do something nice for you as her apology (like immediately fvck you) but not come out and say "hey, sorry for being a huge b1tch last night." You have to be willing to take that form of an apology for very long-term relationships to work.

Bottom line is never let them just walk all over you to be nice. Great work, OP.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is the first sign of her losing respect for you...not a good sign

 

[Serenity]

“I can take them, but WHY THE F SHOULD I? you’re supposed to be my wife, there’s plenty of women who won’t speak like that”

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[tightgrp]

Married and recently my wife has been pushing it a bit. She came home from work recently and was really rude. Usually I brush it off but it was over the line.

Now, this was more of a **** test I feel so there’s a question why…have to keep an eye on that.

Basically I was supposed to come with her the next day to a social function with her work, and I basically said if you’re gonna talk to me like that and expect me to come hang out with you then you can get fked. I’d rather get an early night.

I got a lot of moans that night via text and said basically don’t run your mouth like that if you want me to play nice.

amazingly she said she wouldn’t (didn’t get an apology but hey) and this morning I explained again why I didn’t come, and she’s been super nice to me.

They do love the drama but you got to have a limit. She’s usually tried the “come on, you’re a man, you can’t take some mean words” type thing and I basically said this time “I can take them, but WHY THE F SHOULD I? you’re supposed to be my wife, there’s plenty of women who won’t speak like that”

A man at work she's considers your equal or possibly better. Position yourself for her infidelity.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

When I get this. I grab my stuff & leave & go home. (admittedly difficult if living together). Or rather I attempt to. She has literally put her body in front of the door to prevent me from leaving Ultimately it works

 

[Smok1nAce]

OP reads like a troll but will entertain it.

Its a telling sign of things to come OP. She either getting comfortable with you, and showing you who she really is (a biotch). or She testing you.

Either way it aint good and you made things worse. The fact that you had to throw a tantrum and give an ultimatum and say things like "if you talk to me like that i will.." shows your lack of courage and ability to be strong. Unless she was calling you out your name saying your not going to her event is a pu$$y move, most likely why you didn't get an apology. Not saying sorry being the actual first sign of disrespect.

All i take away from this is you did a poor job vesting your wife and failed a fairly common test from a women.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Married and recently my wife has been pushing it a bit. She came home from work recently and was really rude. Usually I brush it off but it was over the line.

Now, this was more of a **** test I feel so there’s a question why…have to keep an eye on that.

The "why" is no big mystery. There is a power dynamic in every relationship. If a woman senses that she can gain the upper hand, she will go for it.

Historically, women didn't have much leverage in marraiges. Women were legally obligated to obey their husbands. They couldn't even control their own finances. If a woman got out of hand, it was permissible to discipline her, including by way of corporal punishment (within limits). It was called "physically chastising an errant wife". A man could demand sexual services from his wife at any time. A woman's refusal to perform her "marital duties" was grounds for at-fault divorce (which means the woman gets a drastically reduced payout or perhaps even nothing). Adultery was a criminal offence.

More recently, the pendulum swung the other way. Women have all the leverage these days. A woman has no obligations in marraige. She can act like a complete b!tch, cheat on you, refuse to have sex with you and the only thing you can do is petition for a "no fault divorce" (which means that you will get divorce-raped even if the breakdown of marriage is her fault).

 

[Fruitbat]

Why did you get married, do you have children with this woman?

why are you asking the question? Explain why you want to know and then I’ll tell you.

 

[Fruitbat]

A man at work she's considers your equal or possibly better. Position yourself for her infidelity.

It was a work event she wanted me to come to.
Her workplace is 100% women.

 

[Fruitbat]

Good post, OP.

This site needs more LTR-geared postings like this. Because while the overall rules remain the same for the most part in how you deal with women, somethings do change a bit. I have found that most women in an LTR rarely apologize. Normally, they will do something nice for you as her apology (like immediately fvck you) but not come out and say "hey, sorry for being a huge b1tch last night." You have to be willing to take that form of an apology for very long-term relationships to work.

Bottom line is never let them just walk all over you to be nice. Great work, OP.

Only thing I would add to this is I wouldn’t accept fking as an apology. That’s non-negotiable and needs to happen spontaneously and shouldn’t be tied to obligations.

 

[Fruitbat]

When I get this. I grab my stuff & leave & go home. (admittedly difficult if living together). Or rather I attempt to. She has literally put her body in front of the door to prevent me from leaving Ultimately it works

it does. Got to this point twice in the PND period and it most certainly works.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Either way it aint good and you made things worse. The fact that you had to throw a tantrum and give an ultimatum and say things like "if you talk to me like that i will.." shows your lack of courage and ability to be strong. Unless she was calling you out your name saying your not going to her event is a pu$$y move, most likely why you didn't get an apology. Not saying sorry being the actual first sign of disrespect.

What would have been the proper move?

 

[Fruitbat]

What would have been the proper move?

I’ve ignored this **** tbf mate so you’ll have to enlighten me

my guess is “never married in the first place, you’re weak, I’m the king. You only have yourself to blame and you’re not interested in learning from mighty, mighty me!”

for the ultimate players we have around here they sure seem angry and frustrated

 

[Aristippus]

Women are like children. They can love you and still try to see what they can get away with. Women need to be led but sometimes will behave like brats that need to be put in their place.

They need leadership but sometimes they resist it through bratty or rude behaviors. In a sense they are the boss of nothing but will try to be the boss of you at which point you put them in their place.

You did the right thing by not letting her push you around. There's a paradox with many women. Deep down they want to be led and want your protection yet at the same time they will try to be pushy or bossy and resist being led. Where many guys go wrong is kowtowing to her whims in a submissive way. They think by going along with her crap they will be in her good graces. It's the fear of not getting laid. Not being willing to walk away if needed.

Notice, I didn't say a man has to walk away. He has to be WILLING to walk away if need be. Once you've set your limits and are willing to walk away if need be, then you can't be manipulated. No matter how much a woman is into you, women by nature will at one point or another will try to manipulate you. They will misbehave like brats on occasion. And sometimes they will resist your leadership. It's up to you to lead while at the same time putting limits on what you will tolerate. It happens in cycles. Things will be all nice and rosy then one day she will say or do something rude or stupid. Then you correct her and things are nice and calm for a while and maybe it happens again. The closest thing I can compare it to is dealing with a child. No matter how much that child loves you, you will have to correct her.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

there’s plenty of women who won’t speak like that”

This is BS, you know it, she knows it and everyone in here knows it. If you had plenty of women after you, she would have noticed it since the beginning, and would be scared of losing you, therefore will never disrespect you. If that would've been truth, you would've left the house, and fvck another of the plenty ones you have.

most certainly works.

Its not about a tactic, its about a boundary, if she crosses the boundary, you leave to calm down, then if you don't have kids or file for divorce, that's how you enforce the boundary. Its difficult but it has to be done that way, otherwise, she knows you'll leave and will come back.

 

[Money & Muscle]

Only thing I would add to this is I wouldn’t accept fking as an apology. That’s non-negotiable and needs to happen spontaneously and shouldn’t be tied to obligations.

Why?

The best apologies require 0 words but lots of mouth.