"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Journal - Approaches on street, at mall, etc.
- Thread starter Mindgamez
- Start date
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
February 7th
I don't feel like I'm progressing anymore.
I'm lacking confidence and I'm not taking action. Everytime I tell myself that I must approach, I end up not doing it because of nervousness. I know it was a week full of exams (so I was stressed for my grades), but it's not a reason to do zero approaches... Yep, it's true that when I'm stressed I appear more nervous when I talk to people, but what the ****.
I did nothing at school actually. Claudia passed by, I just said hi basically. I wasn't in the mood.
Gotta catch up. I realized that I feel more comfortable doing my approaches in public places sometimes, because when you approach a girl and she rejects you, you won't meet her again. I'm scared of approaching at school and this sucks. Gotta put myself back on track.
I started listening to some new self hypnosis. It is incredible. The next morning, I felt amazing. Too bad this feeling left as the day passed. I used to be persistent and interact with girls every day. Once I loose it, it starts becoming a bad habit. Ugh.
My biggest problem is that I fear taking action. I end up not progressing. This journal feels empty. There's nothing happening, I know. I'm sick of this. Anyway... Tomorrow after break dance class I'll do some approaches at the subway.
I don't feel like I'm progressing anymore.
I'm lacking confidence and I'm not taking action. Everytime I tell myself that I must approach, I end up not doing it because of nervousness. I know it was a week full of exams (so I was stressed for my grades), but it's not a reason to do zero approaches... Yep, it's true that when I'm stressed I appear more nervous when I talk to people, but what the ****.
I did nothing at school actually. Claudia passed by, I just said hi basically. I wasn't in the mood.
Gotta catch up. I realized that I feel more comfortable doing my approaches in public places sometimes, because when you approach a girl and she rejects you, you won't meet her again. I'm scared of approaching at school and this sucks. Gotta put myself back on track.
I started listening to some new self hypnosis. It is incredible. The next morning, I felt amazing. Too bad this feeling left as the day passed. I used to be persistent and interact with girls every day. Once I loose it, it starts becoming a bad habit. Ugh.
My biggest problem is that I fear taking action. I end up not progressing. This journal feels empty. There's nothing happening, I know. I'm sick of this. Anyway... Tomorrow after break dance class I'll do some approaches at the subway.
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Jack Wealthy
Master Don Juan
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- 819
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I'm getting bored of reading these. Basically: You build confidence by taking action, then you take action because you have confidence. Action comes first. You have to grab your balls and go for it.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
February 10th
Just came back from a 2 day trip with school. We did ski and snowboarding! But **** ski, and yay for freestyle snowboarding
.
I became a lot more friends with people I wasn't really friends with. I talked to some girls too. I socialized more than usual and I'm proud of this. I realized that caring too much about improving socially is not good. If you don't care as much and you just talk to talk and to have fun, you'll be alright and sometimes, you'll kick ass.
Did some snowboarding with Claudia. I like how she always say Hi first with a pretty smile. I teased her, I threw snow between her legs, I mess with her hair, good touching. I had fun, and she probably did too. We did some with some other asian guy. He was so fast! He had balls to go fast and it was his first time he ever did ski. Claudia and I were a little further and he was further back. We lost him so we waited for a while. I though that he simply took another path or something, so I just left her after we sat for like 3 minutes. I waited at the bottom of the mountain for 5-10 minutes and she never came so I just took the chairlift to go up again. Later that evening she complained because I didn't wait for her haha, but whatever. The truth is the asian dude was hurt and he lost one of his ski! He was fine, phew.
I didn't do any big moves on her yet! I should man, I should. Valentine's day is Tuesday. Man this Tuesday I must hug multiple girls. I will for sure. It's no big deal.
Feeling better and better. Popular people at my school aren't bad people after all. They are mean with losers though... and I don't like that, but that's how high school is.
Just came back from a 2 day trip with school. We did ski and snowboarding! But **** ski, and yay for freestyle snowboarding
. I became a lot more friends with people I wasn't really friends with. I talked to some girls too. I socialized more than usual and I'm proud of this. I realized that caring too much about improving socially is not good. If you don't care as much and you just talk to talk and to have fun, you'll be alright and sometimes, you'll kick ass.
Did some snowboarding with Claudia. I like how she always say Hi first with a pretty smile. I teased her, I threw snow between her legs, I mess with her hair, good touching. I had fun, and she probably did too. We did some with some other asian guy. He was so fast! He had balls to go fast and it was his first time he ever did ski. Claudia and I were a little further and he was further back. We lost him so we waited for a while. I though that he simply took another path or something, so I just left her after we sat for like 3 minutes. I waited at the bottom of the mountain for 5-10 minutes and she never came so I just took the chairlift to go up again. Later that evening she complained because I didn't wait for her haha, but whatever. The truth is the asian dude was hurt and he lost one of his ski! He was fine, phew.
I didn't do any big moves on her yet! I should man, I should. Valentine's day is Tuesday. Man this Tuesday I must hug multiple girls. I will for sure. It's no big deal.
Feeling better and better. Popular people at my school aren't bad people after all. They are mean with losers though... and I don't like that, but that's how high school is.
February 12th
Didn't do much with the approaches today. I did 2 of them.
The first one was nothing great. I felt confident and not so nervous though, so that was nice. I just said : Hi, what's up? She looked at me confused. I excused myself and I told her that I though she was somebody else. Bad reaction lol. Completely poker faced! lol
Second approach, my friend started it. There was 2 girls.
Casta : Hey excuse me, can we ask you guys a question?
Them : Sure.
Me : Okay. Me and my friend wanted to know who has the softest skin!
*pulls out right hand*
Them : Okay wait, so you want us to touch you?
Me : Yeah XD.
Blablablah. We talked for a minute or so. Nothing that fantastic. They were older, probably 18 or more. That was funny though.
I had a headache that day. The more stress I had, the worse it became! Ugh, that is not so good. It's probably because I'm sick because I've been outside in the cold too much.
Week 3 status is still at zero...
Didn't get any number for week 2 yet!
Next week we are going on Saturday. People usually go to the mall on Saturday so we'll have a lot more options I hope! People hate malls on Sunday I don't know why...
Anyway. I'm trying to start new good habits. I'm going to sleep earlier to be more healthy. Tiredness affects my overall concentration, happiness and productivity. Oh, and I gotta meditate 1 hour every night before sleep!
Seeya guys!
Didn't do much with the approaches today. I did 2 of them.
The first one was nothing great. I felt confident and not so nervous though, so that was nice. I just said : Hi, what's up? She looked at me confused. I excused myself and I told her that I though she was somebody else. Bad reaction lol. Completely poker faced! lol
Second approach, my friend started it. There was 2 girls.
Casta : Hey excuse me, can we ask you guys a question?
Them : Sure.
Me : Okay. Me and my friend wanted to know who has the softest skin!
*pulls out right hand*
Them : Okay wait, so you want us to touch you?
Me : Yeah XD.
Blablablah. We talked for a minute or so. Nothing that fantastic. They were older, probably 18 or more. That was funny though.
I had a headache that day. The more stress I had, the worse it became! Ugh, that is not so good. It's probably because I'm sick because I've been outside in the cold too much.
Week 3 status is still at zero...
Didn't get any number for week 2 yet!
Next week we are going on Saturday. People usually go to the mall on Saturday so we'll have a lot more options I hope! People hate malls on Sunday I don't know why...
Anyway. I'm trying to start new good habits. I'm going to sleep earlier to be more healthy. Tiredness affects my overall concentration, happiness and productivity. Oh, and I gotta meditate 1 hour every night before sleep!
Seeya guys!
ohbe
Don Juan
Could you tell me more about your meditation?
1 hour sounds like a waste of time. 1 hour a day is enough time to develop a skill after a few years. Try 8 minute meditation.
EDIT: There's a book called 8 Minute meditation. I haven't committed myself to it fully but others have recommended it and you may want to check it out.
EDIT: There's a book called 8 Minute meditation. I haven't committed myself to it fully but others have recommended it and you may want to check it out.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2010
- Messages
- 2,553
- Reaction score
- 83
Some people would say that that 1 hour is the best time they spent in their day.asianbboy said:
Do not refute something without trying it. Please atleast try the 8 minute meditation consitently first.
Personally, I'd roll with 20 minutes. If you actually do manage to meditate (for 60 minutes), then congrats and do your thing.
February 13th
Confidence was a lot lower today. Inaction worsen my self-esteem. Every opportunity I miss makes it worse for me. I took action today, but what got me is the reaction. I know on a conscious level that I should not care about reactions, but I still have this voice in my head saying things.
Hey, it doesn't matter. I talked to Claudia. She ignored me completely when I petted her hair earlier that day though.
Today in our classroom, I caught Sophie looking at me. She made a playful face, so I responded. Later that day, she wanted to get to her locker but I blocked her way. *Mindgamez, I have to get to my locker so you have to move* She slid her way to her locker *you're in my way!*, and then she smiled at me. I didn't say a word. I smiled too, than said : Naah
I think it was on purpose, but I felt her boob and her leg on me as she passed by later. I didn't take action, again! ARGH
Talked to Mel. She's always nice.
I poked Kris. She told me to stop with a little smile. At the end of the day, I stopped her. She said hi. I didn't say anything again because I though it would be funnier. She told me to get away. I stayed and ignored her while she tried to slid her way to her locker. She said in an annoyed voice : Heey, please let me pass! I said : What? She repeated. I said : What? Then she was just mad and she left. I couldn't stop laughing it was so funny. I told her that I was just playing, but she's just the kind of girl that gets mad easily. Anyway... no pick up intended on this one.
There are 2 new students from France in our classroom. They'll stay for something like a week. I wanted to try something on them that day, but I felt like a pvssy and didn't do anything...
Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. I'll be hugging girls.
Confidence was a lot lower today. Inaction worsen my self-esteem. Every opportunity I miss makes it worse for me. I took action today, but what got me is the reaction. I know on a conscious level that I should not care about reactions, but I still have this voice in my head saying things.
Hey, it doesn't matter. I talked to Claudia. She ignored me completely when I petted her hair earlier that day though.
Today in our classroom, I caught Sophie looking at me. She made a playful face, so I responded. Later that day, she wanted to get to her locker but I blocked her way. *Mindgamez, I have to get to my locker so you have to move* She slid her way to her locker *you're in my way!*, and then she smiled at me. I didn't say a word. I smiled too, than said : Naah
I think it was on purpose, but I felt her boob and her leg on me as she passed by later. I didn't take action, again! ARGH
Talked to Mel. She's always nice.
I poked Kris. She told me to stop with a little smile. At the end of the day, I stopped her. She said hi. I didn't say anything again because I though it would be funnier. She told me to get away. I stayed and ignored her while she tried to slid her way to her locker. She said in an annoyed voice : Heey, please let me pass! I said : What? She repeated. I said : What? Then she was just mad and she left. I couldn't stop laughing it was so funny. I told her that I was just playing, but she's just the kind of girl that gets mad easily. Anyway... no pick up intended on this one.
There are 2 new students from France in our classroom. They'll stay for something like a week. I wanted to try something on them that day, but I felt like a pvssy and didn't do anything...
Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. I'll be hugging girls.
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February 14th
Man, I'm feeling good!
I talked to a good amount of girls today. I chatted a little with Samantha, a girl I flirted with a long time ago. She's pretty, but she's not the prettiest. I said hi to a couple of girls in the hallway. I think one of them ignored me, but whatever haha.
I keep poking Kris. She doesn't like it, or maybe she likes the attention and she acts like she doesn't like it! I like to touch her, it's fun.
Claudia loves it when I pet her hair hahaha! She's like my little cat.
When Sophie passed by me in the locker room, I pushed my chest a little on her. I could feel her boobs on me. She said : Ohhh Mindgamez! I didn't see her facial expression though, but I just said something like : Hey, be careful to where you go. She left lol.
Mel is always nice, but I love playing hard to get with her. I often throw negs at her and I disqualify her. I don't think it is bad, because I remain a good guy and I'm not mean. I'm just being less needy. I still feel some attraction towards her though. She's the prettiest girl in the class! Anyway, she already said no, so let's move on.
I was in front of the class, getting ready for my oral presentation (that went really well), and this new French girl (Sophie's friend) was looking at me. I caught her looking at me, and she did the *call me* sign to me. I lifted one eyebrow with a subtle smile and she cracked up. Wow, I didn't even interact with her yet! Well, I kind of did. Leon talked to her and I just said one remark saying that Leon likes to be a gentleman with girls like her. Seems like she was just playing. What y'a think?
I'm feeling more and more confident.
I managed to make my classmates laugh before and after my oral presentation. I realized that I'm funny when I think that I am funny. I just said a couple of random remarks and it was cool. I usually don't do this kind of thing.
Tomorrow is Break dancing time! Hell yeah! Didn't exercise in a loonnng while... that's not good. Gotta do the bootcamp man, gotta do it man. I'm feeling more confident these days. Better catch up and finish week 3! And ask for a number for week 2, but this won't be a big problem I think.
I love listening to self hypnosis. They helped me for today!
Man, I'm feeling good!
I talked to a good amount of girls today. I chatted a little with Samantha, a girl I flirted with a long time ago. She's pretty, but she's not the prettiest. I said hi to a couple of girls in the hallway. I think one of them ignored me, but whatever haha.
I keep poking Kris. She doesn't like it, or maybe she likes the attention and she acts like she doesn't like it! I like to touch her, it's fun.
Claudia loves it when I pet her hair hahaha! She's like my little cat.
When Sophie passed by me in the locker room, I pushed my chest a little on her. I could feel her boobs on me. She said : Ohhh Mindgamez! I didn't see her facial expression though, but I just said something like : Hey, be careful to where you go. She left lol.
Mel is always nice, but I love playing hard to get with her. I often throw negs at her and I disqualify her. I don't think it is bad, because I remain a good guy and I'm not mean. I'm just being less needy. I still feel some attraction towards her though. She's the prettiest girl in the class! Anyway, she already said no, so let's move on.
I was in front of the class, getting ready for my oral presentation (that went really well), and this new French girl (Sophie's friend) was looking at me. I caught her looking at me, and she did the *call me* sign to me. I lifted one eyebrow with a subtle smile and she cracked up. Wow, I didn't even interact with her yet! Well, I kind of did. Leon talked to her and I just said one remark saying that Leon likes to be a gentleman with girls like her. Seems like she was just playing. What y'a think?
I'm feeling more and more confident.
I managed to make my classmates laugh before and after my oral presentation. I realized that I'm funny when I think that I am funny. I just said a couple of random remarks and it was cool. I usually don't do this kind of thing.
Tomorrow is Break dancing time! Hell yeah! Didn't exercise in a loonnng while... that's not good. Gotta do the bootcamp man, gotta do it man. I'm feeling more confident these days. Better catch up and finish week 3! And ask for a number for week 2, but this won't be a big problem I think.
I love listening to self hypnosis. They helped me for today!
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February 16th
Listening to Awaken The Giant Within. Thanks to NDJ for suggesting it. I don't remember where he did though lol. After I listened to the first half hour, I went to work immediately.
Today was alright. Nothing special. My state of mind still depends too much on circumstances, on the outside world. I'll fix this, and I'll do the bootcamp on Saturday and catch up on week 3.
Listening to Awaken The Giant Within. Thanks to NDJ for suggesting it. I don't remember where he did though lol. After I listened to the first half hour, I went to work immediately.
Today was alright. Nothing special. My state of mind still depends too much on circumstances, on the outside world. I'll fix this, and I'll do the bootcamp on Saturday and catch up on week 3.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
February 17th
Finished the audio book. Thanks NDJ.
I'm loosing momentum in school. I'm not flirting as much with girls and I'm scared. **** this, I gotta change.
I never did the bootcamp on my own yet. Casta was always there with me to do the challenges with me. Doing it by myself feels a lot scarier, and I don't know why. Maybe because I don't have a source of comfort, nobody to encourage me. I'll be my own best friend or my own worst enemy. I decide.
The shopping center is at 1h from my house, or even more. I will not waste any time and I'll have no excuses to come back once I step in the bus. I'll just go and go.
Feeling nervous, but I have to face my fears one day. If not now, when? Procrastination to infinite? I'll just never do it man, I'll just never do it if I keep saying that I'll do it the next day. I always do this, and why? Because I'm scared. Tomorrow I'm FVCKING going no matter what! No matter what is my mood. If I feel super happy and excited that's great! But if I feel nervous and low energy, I'll just go anyway. I'll do my best. I'll be unique. I feel so different doing this, because none of my friends ever attempted things like that. And what's the big deal anyway? It's piece of cake. I can do this.
Hehe, let's own. I'll write about what happened tomorrow guys! I gotta catch up on those weeks I skipped! Peace.
Finished the audio book. Thanks NDJ.
I'm loosing momentum in school. I'm not flirting as much with girls and I'm scared. **** this, I gotta change.
I never did the bootcamp on my own yet. Casta was always there with me to do the challenges with me. Doing it by myself feels a lot scarier, and I don't know why. Maybe because I don't have a source of comfort, nobody to encourage me. I'll be my own best friend or my own worst enemy. I decide.
The shopping center is at 1h from my house, or even more. I will not waste any time and I'll have no excuses to come back once I step in the bus. I'll just go and go.
Feeling nervous, but I have to face my fears one day. If not now, when? Procrastination to infinite? I'll just never do it man, I'll just never do it if I keep saying that I'll do it the next day. I always do this, and why? Because I'm scared. Tomorrow I'm FVCKING going no matter what! No matter what is my mood. If I feel super happy and excited that's great! But if I feel nervous and low energy, I'll just go anyway. I'll do my best. I'll be unique. I feel so different doing this, because none of my friends ever attempted things like that. And what's the big deal anyway? It's piece of cake. I can do this.
Hehe, let's own. I'll write about what happened tomorrow guys! I gotta catch up on those weeks I skipped! Peace.
NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2010
- Messages
- 2,553
- Reaction score
- 83
Woah my fvck, that was quick. How long was it?Mindgamez said:
NDJ it's 1h30 long
February 18th
I realized that going out alone and doing things is a LOT harder than with your best friend.
I failed my own week, and the previous one. I managed to stay the whole afternoon by myself at the mall/shops though. I did maybe 20 approaches, but they were similar to week 1, or even easier. Even if I did less, I still feel like I progressed because I learned to stop being lazy and actually taking the decision to go there by myself. I felt independent, because I could do my things without my friend being next to me to cheer me up. I could've definitely done more if he was there.
It's better to celebrate any small success instead of beating myself up for not doing what I was supposed to do. I don't seem to find a way to keep up with the bootcamp... As long as I never stop, It's okay I guess. I'm still motivated and I try to stay consistent. My problem is increasing the intensity. I stay to the easy stuff and stepping to the next level makes me scared.
I write a lot these days. Let's take a break. I'll write when something good happens.
February 18th
I realized that going out alone and doing things is a LOT harder than with your best friend.
I failed my own week, and the previous one. I managed to stay the whole afternoon by myself at the mall/shops though. I did maybe 20 approaches, but they were similar to week 1, or even easier. Even if I did less, I still feel like I progressed because I learned to stop being lazy and actually taking the decision to go there by myself. I felt independent, because I could do my things without my friend being next to me to cheer me up. I could've definitely done more if he was there.
It's better to celebrate any small success instead of beating myself up for not doing what I was supposed to do. I don't seem to find a way to keep up with the bootcamp... As long as I never stop, It's okay I guess. I'm still motivated and I try to stay consistent. My problem is increasing the intensity. I stay to the easy stuff and stepping to the next level makes me scared.
I write a lot these days. Let's take a break. I'll write when something good happens.
LearningSlowly
Master Don Juan
I never got all the way through the book when I had to read it. Audio books are good though, I'm gonna listen to it in my car.Mindgamez said:NDJ it's 1h30 long
Congrats on approaching. I'm running out of steam for this bootcamp, but I really don't want to let down AlexLefty, since he's been killing it.
Yeah man me too...
I feel bad for not doing everything I had to do, but I try my best every time. I promised myself to never stop and keep up going. If it takes me more time, it will take more time, but I won't give up for sure.
I feel bad for not doing everything I had to do, but I try my best every time. I promised myself to never stop and keep up going. If it takes me more time, it will take more time, but I won't give up for sure.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.