NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2010
- Messages
- 2,553
- Reaction score
- 83
Just lead it, disregarding reactions. If you depend on reactions, then you're reacting.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
You don't "get" girls, in the way you seem to be saying. Once you kiss one, there should be no possessive, binding nature. I'm realizing this myself in my recent Megan texts.Mindgamez said:I should start with getting one girlfriend before getting 2 at the time. And how can I get multiple girls I can **** with? Let's say I have a girl, and I tell her I want to have sex with another one. How will she react toward this?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I bolded it.Mindgamez said:My feelings are like roller coasters.
The night before, I'm feeling alright. I do meditation, and I feel great. The next morning as I get out of bed, I still feel great! Then, I go to school. When I arrive to school, anxiety kicks in again. When I said hi to that girl yesterday and today, she wasn't that reactive.Yeah, feelings are like that when they depend on the outside world. The world is chaos.
(I just realized I'm still looking for reactions. What you guys said the other day that you should just assume attraction is right. I forgot about this and I'm still worrying as ****.)(Y)
Those *bad reactions* (maybe they weren't bad at all. Maybe she didn't feel like smiling that day, I don't know) is what gave me more anxiety. I started doubting myself. She used to smile and laugh at the least funny things I said. I think I'm being needy and anxious because I'm saying to myself that I don't really attract girls anymore.
Why am I thinking this? I think it's because of my failure with Mel 2 weeks ago. I started doubting myself and it became a little worse and worse with time. I think I'm friendzoned by Kristina, by Claudia (the girl that isn't reacting anymore), by Mel.Don't count girls like that. They're people. This just sounds manipulative and desperate. "There are a bunch of girls. I'll probably go find a bunch more because most are my friends"- the way a cool guy says that.
I just thought about it. There's still Sophie. She gives me eye contact from across the room. I can clearly tell that she's looking at me sometimes. I think she's just shy... when we talk together, she never looks directly in my eyes, or very rarely. It's been like that since October I'd say. I can't believe I didn't make a move on her yet, but I'm not feeling confident about it because it's been months and months. I always tell myself that it will be weird if I do something now.It can be a sign of submission. Or it can be a sign of lacking awesome. Find out by talking to more girls.
Bootcamp started. I don't feel like doing it in my school. I could try on younger girls I don't know (there are many of them that are pretty), but I'm feeling nervous as hell doing this at school. I'm always thinking about the impacts on my reputation (I don't even think I really have one to be honest) or about how people are going to perceive me. If I fail my approach, this girl will probably see me again at school many times. I'm feeling bad about this... ugh. How you guys do to not give a damn? I always give too much damn lol...
I have troubles being consistent, because as I said my confidence is like a roller coaster. I feel confident as hell one day, and then once one negative thought go through my mind, I start feeling bad again. I just feel like my progress is only temporary! I don't progress constantly, and I feel like I go back to my old self all the time.
I have an oral presentation in 2 days. I fear talking to many people at the same time. I'm always worried about what I say. I'm scared of saying bull**** sometimes, even when I talk to my buddies I don't always say everything I want to say. What the hell is wrong. The thing is I'm scared of running out of things to say. It was always my biggest fear during public speaking. It still is... When I run out of things to say, I start
I'm a good public speaker, probably one of the better at my school. I just don't think for me and its relaxing. The audience doesn't exist, it is just my points and my speech/argument.
I just realized I didn't worry that much before. I really didn't worry that much. I don't know what's happening, but I started worrying again. It's maybe the big load of exams I have this week and the lack of sleep that makes me think this way. Exams and a lack of sleep definitely don't help at giving me a good mood. Simply those 2 things alone make me feel bad. Probably if I had more time, I would do things I like to relax and clear my mind of negativity. I still have an exam tomorrow and I'm still writing this. I think it's good to just free your thoughts sometimes and let it go. It feels good to write about it. I know that writing about things and doing meditation won't help me cure my anxiety. I have to take action, but I'm still feeling bad about this, and when I took action the last time, I failed and when I see her everyday she reminds me of my failure. I'm scared of this again.
You know what? I'm tired of this. I'm really tired of complaining about this. There's nothing to help me. Nobody to help me. There's only myself that can put myself back up. The world can try and help, but in the end I'm the only one that can help myself. It's all in the mind.
Tomorrow after my breakdance class, I'll be doing approaches with my buddy Casta. I hope I'll do at LEAST one. If I'm in a good mood I'll do more, and even if I'm not in a good mood I'll force myself to do it. I have to get 10 names. 10! Not 9, but 10. Even more than 10.
I like chatting with LearningSlowly. He's a cool dude. BTW thanks dude for being there when I needed it!
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.