NorwegianDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2010
- Messages
- 2,553
- Reaction score
- 83
Just lead it, disregarding reactions. If you depend on reactions, then you're reacting.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You don't "get" girls, in the way you seem to be saying. Once you kiss one, there should be no possessive, binding nature. I'm realizing this myself in my recent Megan texts.Mindgamez said:I should start with getting one girlfriend before getting 2 at the time. And how can I get multiple girls I can **** with? Let's say I have a girl, and I tell her I want to have sex with another one. How will she react toward this?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I bolded it.Mindgamez said:My feelings are like roller coasters.
The night before, I'm feeling alright. I do meditation, and I feel great. The next morning as I get out of bed, I still feel great! Then, I go to school. When I arrive to school, anxiety kicks in again. When I said hi to that girl yesterday and today, she wasn't that reactive.Yeah, feelings are like that when they depend on the outside world. The world is chaos.
(I just realized I'm still looking for reactions. What you guys said the other day that you should just assume attraction is right. I forgot about this and I'm still worrying as ****.)(Y)
Those *bad reactions* (maybe they weren't bad at all. Maybe she didn't feel like smiling that day, I don't know) is what gave me more anxiety. I started doubting myself. She used to smile and laugh at the least funny things I said. I think I'm being needy and anxious because I'm saying to myself that I don't really attract girls anymore.
Why am I thinking this? I think it's because of my failure with Mel 2 weeks ago. I started doubting myself and it became a little worse and worse with time. I think I'm friendzoned by Kristina, by Claudia (the girl that isn't reacting anymore), by Mel.Don't count girls like that. They're people. This just sounds manipulative and desperate. "There are a bunch of girls. I'll probably go find a bunch more because most are my friends"- the way a cool guy says that.
I just thought about it. There's still Sophie. She gives me eye contact from across the room. I can clearly tell that she's looking at me sometimes. I think she's just shy... when we talk together, she never looks directly in my eyes, or very rarely. It's been like that since October I'd say. I can't believe I didn't make a move on her yet, but I'm not feeling confident about it because it's been months and months. I always tell myself that it will be weird if I do something now.It can be a sign of submission. Or it can be a sign of lacking awesome. Find out by talking to more girls.
Bootcamp started. I don't feel like doing it in my school. I could try on younger girls I don't know (there are many of them that are pretty), but I'm feeling nervous as hell doing this at school. I'm always thinking about the impacts on my reputation (I don't even think I really have one to be honest) or about how people are going to perceive me. If I fail my approach, this girl will probably see me again at school many times. I'm feeling bad about this... ugh. How you guys do to not give a damn? I always give too much damn lol...
I have troubles being consistent, because as I said my confidence is like a roller coaster. I feel confident as hell one day, and then once one negative thought go through my mind, I start feeling bad again. I just feel like my progress is only temporary! I don't progress constantly, and I feel like I go back to my old self all the time.
I have an oral presentation in 2 days. I fear talking to many people at the same time. I'm always worried about what I say. I'm scared of saying bull**** sometimes, even when I talk to my buddies I don't always say everything I want to say. What the hell is wrong. The thing is I'm scared of running out of things to say. It was always my biggest fear during public speaking. It still is... When I run out of things to say, I start
I'm a good public speaker, probably one of the better at my school. I just don't think for me and its relaxing. The audience doesn't exist, it is just my points and my speech/argument.
I just realized I didn't worry that much before. I really didn't worry that much. I don't know what's happening, but I started worrying again. It's maybe the big load of exams I have this week and the lack of sleep that makes me think this way. Exams and a lack of sleep definitely don't help at giving me a good mood. Simply those 2 things alone make me feel bad. Probably if I had more time, I would do things I like to relax and clear my mind of negativity. I still have an exam tomorrow and I'm still writing this. I think it's good to just free your thoughts sometimes and let it go. It feels good to write about it. I know that writing about things and doing meditation won't help me cure my anxiety. I have to take action, but I'm still feeling bad about this, and when I took action the last time, I failed and when I see her everyday she reminds me of my failure. I'm scared of this again.
You know what? I'm tired of this. I'm really tired of complaining about this. There's nothing to help me. Nobody to help me. There's only myself that can put myself back up. The world can try and help, but in the end I'm the only one that can help myself. It's all in the mind.
Tomorrow after my breakdance class, I'll be doing approaches with my buddy Casta. I hope I'll do at LEAST one. If I'm in a good mood I'll do more, and even if I'm not in a good mood I'll force myself to do it. I have to get 10 names. 10! Not 9, but 10. Even more than 10.
I like chatting with LearningSlowly. He's a cool dude. BTW thanks dude for being there when I needed it!
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.