"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

Jophil. Must read especially for Master DJ's.

speed dawg

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Lost a good one. Jophil was one of the best.

Money cannot buy what I have learned from this site and guys like Jophil. Very sad day indeed.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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ThunderMaverick

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........

I've never wrote anything like this for anyone, but I feel like I lost a mentor and a comrade, even though I didn't agree with some of the things he said.

To not say anything about his sickness speaks volumes about his constitution. He never wanted us to see him complain or make excuses. What a guy :(

I will miss you, Jo. I hope you are at peace wherever you are.
 

women haze

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One of the best Posters on this site, his topics and Postings was def an eye opener for me...

Out of respect for what he posted maybe we should add Jop's words to the DJ bible ...I am sure new members would benefit from some of the stuff he posted...

RIP man
 

DMSR76

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I really regret hearing this. Jophil was a man that you could always rely on to say something "spot-on" in a thread. He always weighed-in on topics with great balance. His insight and wisdom will be missed.

It's a blessing that he doesn't have to suffer anymore.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

WhitePimp

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Always had great advice, and seemed like a genuinely good guy.

Hope he's pulling ass somewhere peaceful and beautiful...

RIP
 

john siegal

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RIP Jophil...!

...even though we had words and didn't always see eye to eye...i thank for your comments.

See you on the other side Friend!
 

Fuglydude

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RIP.

Never thought he was that ill. Tough guy for never complaining about it even though it was warranted. I never knew him well, but valued his insights and wisdom... He was a great contributor to the forum and he will be missed by all.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Zunder

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I had an argument on here once with Jophill...when I was newish to this forum. I really was a tool at the time, but he never lost his cool. As time went on I got to really like the bloke and what he had to say.
In fact - I made a beeline for his most recent posts everytime I logged on.
I cant quite believe the fella is gone. I will miss his posts immensley.
Rest in peace mate.
 

Jeffst1980

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Jophil was truly a poster that embodied the kind of man we all want to emulate: an inspirational leader, a direct yet respectful communicator, and a wise teacher. Truly sad news- he will be greatly missed.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear 5String,
It is winter here,last night a gale blew our Radar Tower down at work,what a miserable night....then this morning your terrible news....I was feeling so sorry for myself with a crook back,a Cold and the prospect of Snow tonight....In some strange way this News makes me appreciate what I often take for granted....Makes you realise that all around us there are colleagues and mates,heroes in their way,making a brave face of pretty dreadful situations....We shall miss him greatly,with all his problems he still found time to mentor young guys on here,to give advice to Lone Fathers and to his Dance group...May he this moment,be whirling around tripping the light fantastic toe in Paradises Ballroom in the Sky.
 

TheTraveller

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Amen Scaramouche, Amen.

RIP Jophil. Your wisdom and true fit in the sosuave community was appreciated by us all.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

Read more...

HoneyHitter

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Nothing but respect for Jophil. Thanks for your valuable contributions and guidance. RIP Jophil.
 

Wilko

Master Don Juan
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Damn, now that puts a few things in their proper perspective.

This guy stoically and unflinchingly faces down cancer and ultimately his own death, and I'm actually worrying about flakes and rejection?!

Well sh!t, I think I'd be dishonouring his memory by continuing to b!tch out like that. It stops.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

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