"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

Jophil. Must read especially for Master DJ's.

speed dawg

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Lost a good one. Jophil was one of the best.

Money cannot buy what I have learned from this site and guys like Jophil. Very sad day indeed.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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ThunderMaverick

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........

I've never wrote anything like this for anyone, but I feel like I lost a mentor and a comrade, even though I didn't agree with some of the things he said.

To not say anything about his sickness speaks volumes about his constitution. He never wanted us to see him complain or make excuses. What a guy :(

I will miss you, Jo. I hope you are at peace wherever you are.
 

women haze

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One of the best Posters on this site, his topics and Postings was def an eye opener for me...

Out of respect for what he posted maybe we should add Jop's words to the DJ bible ...I am sure new members would benefit from some of the stuff he posted...

RIP man
 

DMSR76

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I really regret hearing this. Jophil was a man that you could always rely on to say something "spot-on" in a thread. He always weighed-in on topics with great balance. His insight and wisdom will be missed.

It's a blessing that he doesn't have to suffer anymore.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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WhitePimp

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Always had great advice, and seemed like a genuinely good guy.

Hope he's pulling ass somewhere peaceful and beautiful...

RIP
 

john siegal

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RIP Jophil...!

...even though we had words and didn't always see eye to eye...i thank for your comments.

See you on the other side Friend!
 

Fuglydude

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RIP.

Never thought he was that ill. Tough guy for never complaining about it even though it was warranted. I never knew him well, but valued his insights and wisdom... He was a great contributor to the forum and he will be missed by all.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Zunder

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I had an argument on here once with Jophill...when I was newish to this forum. I really was a tool at the time, but he never lost his cool. As time went on I got to really like the bloke and what he had to say.
In fact - I made a beeline for his most recent posts everytime I logged on.
I cant quite believe the fella is gone. I will miss his posts immensley.
Rest in peace mate.
 

Jeffst1980

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Jophil was truly a poster that embodied the kind of man we all want to emulate: an inspirational leader, a direct yet respectful communicator, and a wise teacher. Truly sad news- he will be greatly missed.
 

Scaramouche

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Dear 5String,
It is winter here,last night a gale blew our Radar Tower down at work,what a miserable night....then this morning your terrible news....I was feeling so sorry for myself with a crook back,a Cold and the prospect of Snow tonight....In some strange way this News makes me appreciate what I often take for granted....Makes you realise that all around us there are colleagues and mates,heroes in their way,making a brave face of pretty dreadful situations....We shall miss him greatly,with all his problems he still found time to mentor young guys on here,to give advice to Lone Fathers and to his Dance group...May he this moment,be whirling around tripping the light fantastic toe in Paradises Ballroom in the Sky.
 

TheTraveller

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Amen Scaramouche, Amen.

RIP Jophil. Your wisdom and true fit in the sosuave community was appreciated by us all.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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HoneyHitter

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Nothing but respect for Jophil. Thanks for your valuable contributions and guidance. RIP Jophil.
 

Wilko

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Damn, now that puts a few things in their proper perspective.

This guy stoically and unflinchingly faces down cancer and ultimately his own death, and I'm actually worrying about flakes and rejection?!

Well sh!t, I think I'd be dishonouring his memory by continuing to b!tch out like that. It stops.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

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