Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Good stuff. And make the most of the remaining time...sounds great.Originally posted by SexPDX:
As an update to Jake and others interested, my plan for the girl I #closed in Pioneer Square is coming into focus. I think I am going to take her out for ice cream and then to this movie theater that plays these artsy
fartsy against the grain kind of stuff. Since this girl struck both Jake and myself as a wannabe rebel type chick I may even smoke some bomb with her.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
I still think that was going on. It is pretty obvious the battery excuse was BS, but I think that she was testing to see if she accomplished her agenda in getting AFC's goat to see if she had to actually go through with fvcking you in order to do it. We were chilling on my dad's porch last night for about 20 minutes after you called her on the way back from Shannahan's and no call. I don't think this was a matter of ASD, I think if she called back it would have been because she wanted to fvck. I don't think this was an unwinnable situation, it was just a matter of pushing the envelope when you oringinally closed.Originally posted by Jake Steed:
Finally, she says her cell battery is almost dead and she has to go but will call me back in 10 minutes when she gets home. Whatever. No call back of course. PDX's theory was that she was at that time rubbing our "date" in her bf's face and using me to make him jealous. This theory is entirely possible.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I sincerely appreciate the compliment and would like to point out there is a reason for what you observe. We need more blow-by-blow field reports of pick up attempts and seductions whether they involve other DJ's or not.Originally posted by MR_PERFECT:
This is one of the best threads I've ever read.
e-mail me: [email protected]Originally posted by Don_juan:
Hey SexPDX, my mom and sister live in Portland. I'm there all the time. What bars did you hit? My sister owns a clothing store in downtown Portland on 3rd ave, it's pretty cool. I'll have to get with you before I go there sometime. I've been to a few okay bars there... like some place by my sisters store called bar 51 or something like that, and there is a bar across the street that was cool. What are the cool bars there? I've been to a few others but I can't remember there names....
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.