Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Good stuff. And make the most of the remaining time...sounds great.Originally posted by SexPDX:
As an update to Jake and others interested, my plan for the girl I #closed in Pioneer Square is coming into focus. I think I am going to take her out for ice cream and then to this movie theater that plays these artsy
fartsy against the grain kind of stuff. Since this girl struck both Jake and myself as a wannabe rebel type chick I may even smoke some bomb with her.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I still think that was going on. It is pretty obvious the battery excuse was BS, but I think that she was testing to see if she accomplished her agenda in getting AFC's goat to see if she had to actually go through with fvcking you in order to do it. We were chilling on my dad's porch last night for about 20 minutes after you called her on the way back from Shannahan's and no call. I don't think this was a matter of ASD, I think if she called back it would have been because she wanted to fvck. I don't think this was an unwinnable situation, it was just a matter of pushing the envelope when you oringinally closed.Originally posted by Jake Steed:
Finally, she says her cell battery is almost dead and she has to go but will call me back in 10 minutes when she gets home. Whatever. No call back of course. PDX's theory was that she was at that time rubbing our "date" in her bf's face and using me to make him jealous. This theory is entirely possible.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I sincerely appreciate the compliment and would like to point out there is a reason for what you observe. We need more blow-by-blow field reports of pick up attempts and seductions whether they involve other DJ's or not.Originally posted by MR_PERFECT:
This is one of the best threads I've ever read.
e-mail me: [email protected]Originally posted by Don_juan:
Hey SexPDX, my mom and sister live in Portland. I'm there all the time. What bars did you hit? My sister owns a clothing store in downtown Portland on 3rd ave, it's pretty cool. I'll have to get with you before I go there sometime. I've been to a few okay bars there... like some place by my sisters store called bar 51 or something like that, and there is a bar across the street that was cool. What are the cool bars there? I've been to a few others but I can't remember there names....
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.