"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Is to ok to ask a flake what is happenning
- Thread starter t510
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Starfvcks 64
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 22, 2013
- Messages
- 215
- Reaction score
- 18
What good would come out of you asking her?
You won't get a completely true answer, and it makes you seem insecure (which you are).
If she's acting distant, she isn't as interested as you probably think. Her lack of attention towards you speaks for itself.
Don't let your insecurity get the best of you.
Actions speak louder than words.
Like samspade already said, and others who post after me will say: show her even less interest.
Sometimes the best way to get a girl's attention is to not give her any.
Any time I'm faced with this it feels impossible. Those following my other thread will see I'm dealing with that now myself. But now I know from experience that if I can stick it out, the result may or may not be what I'd originally intended, but either way there's an overwhelming feeling of having my dignity in tact. And that's a high that I can usually use to propel me to a new plate.samspade said:
Key though is messing with other chicks. Please never stay focused on one. When things go down hill, your heart will be ripped out my dude.
when a girl acts distant she is communicating to you. she is telling you that she isn't attracted to you enough to want to see you.
please don't make her spell that out for you. that will only make you less attractive in her eyes.
rather, communicate back to her in her own language. live your life without her. that will tell her that you don't care whether she is in your life or not.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
nismo-4
Moderator
- Joined
- Jan 31, 2005
- Messages
- 4,438
- Reaction score
- 1,142
Case closed.
Dhoulmagus
Banned
- Joined
- Sep 11, 2013
- Messages
- 1,695
- Reaction score
- 169
noheroes
Don Juan
One girl told me I was the most attractive man she'd ever been with, and proceeded to f*ck me after ten months in the cooler. I had hard ghosted her and started bringing other girls into her work (a bar I love). I was friendly but never flirty, and she came around. The trick was not caring at all.
Girls are like cats - they don't have a long term memory for a lot of things. As long as you stay Alpha and move on, it's possible to restart the interaction in the future. The key is ACTUALLY moving on.
Peaks&Valleys
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2013
- Messages
- 1,956
- Reaction score
- 355
Should have come to bible study OP.Pook said:
There is a time and a place for calling chick's out on their behavior, with flaking, treat it as it is, with low interest. It's one thing if they come up with an excuse on their own, but if you force them to tell you something 9 times out of 10 it's going to be B.S. anyway.
Well said. Dignity. You want her to come back around? Maintain that. You start calling the shots. She flaked? Unacceptable, next her. Then, she texts you a week later....TheCWord said:
Her: "haven't heard from you, where you been OP"
You: "who is this?"
Or *no response*. Or if you do get into a convo with her, that's when you tell her that you don't put up with that crap. Let her apologize and promise it won't happen again, then let her ask you if she can make it up to you.
That's the ideal, but if it doesn't happen, then hey, like the TheCWord mentioned, you still have your dignity.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
noheroes
Don Juan
To make me next her in the first place? She was flirty with another guy in front of me, when I'd specifically come to her bar with the intention of taking her home after her shift (and had made that clear). I'm don't expect monogamy when I'm not willing to give it, but I don't cross wires and I expect the same of my plates. I was friendly and unreactive when I saw her, but basically friendzoned her until she invited me to dinner a month or so ago, paid for it, and then f*cked me a couple days later.TheCWord said:
Tictac
Banned
After the second round of last minute 're-schedules ' and broken promises, I told her that our time together was important to me and that I wasn't prepared to go through that again. Yet it happened again less than a month later.
I went dark. Not my preference, but necessary so far as I was concerned. I (obviously) still think about her. She was an awesome woman. But I am worth more than that.
You are too.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
the only way it could possibly help you is if you could decipher the words of the rationalisation hamster, in which case you would not be asking her why she flaked in the first place
you shouldn't care, you give her a chance to be with you she didn't take it, so its her loss.t510 said:
its not your problem the reason she flake, if she want to spend time with you she would, don't lose time thinking on it, spend your time trying to find a new one