So this lady I am volunteering with-the coordinator-tells me I’m doing an awesome job, is extra nice to me and invited me to a party which I could not make. I know that doesn’t necessarily mean anything but when she was talking to me just before she left—she was wearing a shirt with buttons going down to the mid torso—she was pulling her shirt toward me by the bottom button looking as if she was going to unbutton.
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Is this a sign of attraction?
- Thread starter Aspire
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
marvinlfloresq
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No.
She's probably being nice.
It could be a friendly invite.
Her shirt-thing means nothing, you are paying too much thought.
You need more evidence, IOI (indicators of interest). Does she ask you who do you live with? Personall questions? Is she in your space? Does she flirt with you? Hold eye contact?
Is any of the interaction sexual, or near that context? If not, don't make things awkward.
Just get to know her, this will *reveal her true motives. Next party, volunteer gathering, or social convention that comes up, go.
She's probably being nice.
It could be a friendly invite.
Her shirt-thing means nothing, you are paying too much thought.
You need more evidence, IOI (indicators of interest). Does she ask you who do you live with? Personall questions? Is she in your space? Does she flirt with you? Hold eye contact?
Is any of the interaction sexual, or near that context? If not, don't make things awkward.
Just get to know her, this will *reveal her true motives. Next party, volunteer gathering, or social convention that comes up, go.
Logic85
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Most definitely being nice.
Sometimes when your mind / heart wants more, it builds up scenarios to convince you that it was something.
But in this case, it was pretty clear that it isn't and she's just being her usual self with zero intentions of flirting.
Sometimes when your mind / heart wants more, it builds up scenarios to convince you that it was something.
But in this case, it was pretty clear that it isn't and she's just being her usual self with zero intentions of flirting.
marvinlfloresq
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I agree. There needs to be more of context, before assuming. It looks just like a normal friendly encounter.
Mike32ct
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Sounds like she was just being friendly. Plus women make clothing adjustments all the time. Doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
Would need more evidence to say it’s due to attraction.
Would need more evidence to say it’s due to attraction.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
smokeforfun
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I think this also, there is no better way for answering your question.
marvinlfloresq
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Dave, stay on subject.
Have respect for the op.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
The biggest sign is the party thing, elaborate on that
Did she want YOU specifically to go, or was she just inviting anyone in earshot/everyone in the office?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Party invites by definition are rarely exclusive in nature. It's just splitting hairs. She is interested to some degree. Roll with it.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
I was actually thinking of the distinction between her wanting to go with him to the party vs. Just telling him to show up if he wants vs. Not going with him, but making a big deal over whether or not he specifically comes.
Two of those would be solid signs of interest, the third you're right is nothing much (and also the most likely/common)
At the very least we know she doesn't have a negative opinion, which is good enough to play ball
Glassguy
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Agreed.
More specifically, see if she wants to join you for a drink after you have been working together.
"its been a long day and I am in the mood for a drink. Why dont you join me since you have been going at it hard all day too"
Get a few drinks in her and watch her actions. If she is sexually interested in you, the alcohol will magnify her IOI's.
By asking her to join you for a drink, you are not putting pressure on her for "a date".
R
Ranger
Guest
Well you could always assume she is and go with it. I think that’s always the best mindset.
One of the few positive posters on sosuave. Usually, it's "you're a beta orbiter bro, go chase a garillion other women."
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Soflobro#3
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How old are you?
Lol
smokeforfun
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this topic is the perfect example on how not to ask advice