So this lady I am volunteering with-the coordinator-tells me I’m doing an awesome job, is extra nice to me and invited me to a party which I could not make. I know that doesn’t necessarily mean anything but when she was talking to me just before she left—she was wearing a shirt with buttons going down to the mid torso—she was pulling her shirt toward me by the bottom button looking as if she was going to unbutton.
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is this a sign of attraction?
- Thread starter Aspire
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
marvinlfloresq
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No.
She's probably being nice.
It could be a friendly invite.
Her shirt-thing means nothing, you are paying too much thought.
You need more evidence, IOI (indicators of interest). Does she ask you who do you live with? Personall questions? Is she in your space? Does she flirt with you? Hold eye contact?
Is any of the interaction sexual, or near that context? If not, don't make things awkward.
Just get to know her, this will *reveal her true motives. Next party, volunteer gathering, or social convention that comes up, go.
She's probably being nice.
It could be a friendly invite.
Her shirt-thing means nothing, you are paying too much thought.
You need more evidence, IOI (indicators of interest). Does she ask you who do you live with? Personall questions? Is she in your space? Does she flirt with you? Hold eye contact?
Is any of the interaction sexual, or near that context? If not, don't make things awkward.
Just get to know her, this will *reveal her true motives. Next party, volunteer gathering, or social convention that comes up, go.
Logic85
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Most definitely being nice.
Sometimes when your mind / heart wants more, it builds up scenarios to convince you that it was something.
But in this case, it was pretty clear that it isn't and she's just being her usual self with zero intentions of flirting.
Sometimes when your mind / heart wants more, it builds up scenarios to convince you that it was something.
But in this case, it was pretty clear that it isn't and she's just being her usual self with zero intentions of flirting.
marvinlfloresq
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I agree. There needs to be more of context, before assuming. It looks just like a normal friendly encounter.
Mike32ct
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Sounds like she was just being friendly. Plus women make clothing adjustments all the time. Doesn’t necessarily mean anything.
Would need more evidence to say it’s due to attraction.
Would need more evidence to say it’s due to attraction.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
smokeforfun
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I think this also, there is no better way for answering your question.
marvinlfloresq
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Dave, stay on subject.
Have respect for the op.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
The biggest sign is the party thing, elaborate on that
Did she want YOU specifically to go, or was she just inviting anyone in earshot/everyone in the office?
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Party invites by definition are rarely exclusive in nature. It's just splitting hairs. She is interested to some degree. Roll with it.
devilkingx2
Master Don Juan
I was actually thinking of the distinction between her wanting to go with him to the party vs. Just telling him to show up if he wants vs. Not going with him, but making a big deal over whether or not he specifically comes.
Two of those would be solid signs of interest, the third you're right is nothing much (and also the most likely/common)
At the very least we know she doesn't have a negative opinion, which is good enough to play ball
Glassguy
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Agreed.
More specifically, see if she wants to join you for a drink after you have been working together.
"its been a long day and I am in the mood for a drink. Why dont you join me since you have been going at it hard all day too"
Get a few drinks in her and watch her actions. If she is sexually interested in you, the alcohol will magnify her IOI's.
By asking her to join you for a drink, you are not putting pressure on her for "a date".
R
Ranger
Guest
Well you could always assume she is and go with it. I think that’s always the best mindset.
One of the few positive posters on sosuave. Usually, it's "you're a beta orbiter bro, go chase a garillion other women."
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Soflobro#3
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How old are you?
Lol
smokeforfun
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this topic is the perfect example on how not to ask advice