is there a DJ matrix

[jophil28]

.... instead of focusing on getting the hottest woman you can, instead focus on getting a woman that is best suited for you.

/QUOTE]

This is the essence of DJ maturity.
Well put, JK

 

[RedPill]

I'm in agreement with the main themes of this thread, but I don't think there are all these 'multiple matrices'. Beyond our discussions of sexual dynamics, one might argue there are also matrices for money, religion, economics, law, etc. 'The matrix' is present with any sort of belief system where one is required or pressured to buy into a whole set of packaged beliefs, instead of independently considering which beliefs they do or do not believe it. It's easy to latch onto a different belief structure when one's conditions change, as would be the case breaking out of the AFC paradigm.

At the end of the day, 'the matrix' is all collective groupthink. It's reactionary consensus, fueled by intellectual laziness. The prevailing subconscious rationale of accepting groupthink is "Eh, I'd rather not think about it. I'll defer to the consensus. It's just easier that way. If the herd is wrong, hey at least I wasn't the only one."

Most facets of the matrix (deferral to groupthink) are designed to pander to your human inclination toward the path of least resistance. Sometimes that will work out for the better, often though it won't. One life lesson I've picked up on over the last couple years is to pick and choose very carefully whose input you'll allow to influence your beliefs - and what their underlying motivations are. One person's mental masturbation and showmanship might become another's religion under the right conditions. At the other end of the spectrum are people who deliberately and ruthlessly set power traps, with a conveniently pre-packaged belief structure as the bait.

Question authority. Think for yourself.

We're all economic rent seekers.

 

[Tazman]

Many guys here will be uncomfortable with this post because it takes away "percieved" control. They think that a particular chick that turned them down did so because they didn't behave the right way or say the right things, when in reality, those things matter very little when you're with a chick that is attracted to you.

On paper, I shouldn't have gotten laid because I lack all the life experience and "skills" that the veterans posses, but it's happened none the less. How does one explain that? I have been with a woman I wasn't all that thrilled about (of course she chased because the scale was tipped in my favor), but I've also been with ones that I was attracted to.

There are definitely behaviors that make you unattractive and can effect any relationship negatively, but in the grand scheme of things it's the "unspoken" or "subconscious" things that drive people together, things that people are either unaware of or don't like to talk about. That's why you'll rarely ever hear anyone tell you the truth about why they're with a certain person.

 

[st_99]

Well, the real deal is there is no HB10s or HB9, etc. There's just women, and us men.

There's women that we find attractive, and there's the women that find us attractive.

I'm starting to think this HB rating system is pure BS. My HB10 may be Joekerr's HB8, and Str8up, well..it would probably be a HB5 to him.

I guess what I'm saying is that attraction is subjective. I'll focus on the women that bring out that attraction, and I'll work on generating that same attraction with them.

So, for what it's worth, I'm going for my HB10. I see no reason to settle, even though other's may think she's a HB8, 7, whatever..

I agree with this.

I also think the vast majority of us (men and women), like 95%, are average.
If you lined up 1000 people just out of bed and completely naked you could probably put the vast majority of them in the same looks category.

The way you create separation in the looks dept is your style and body language. You might be the high end brand name clothes guy with the slicked back hair and pompous attitude which some girls may find very attractive and others might think you're a homo. Maybe you're the punk rocker type, black t shirt wearing, music oriented, with the don't give a sh$t attitude which some girls may find sexy and others find repulsive. You get my point.... you just need to find out who you are and own it, even if you're a science nerd.

 

[ketostix]

Joekerr, I get exactly what you're saying. It's what I've been basically saying. Guys aren't going to be able to get a much better looking girl than what they've been getting changing their tactics to DJ ones. People can say looks and status don't matter and that just a change in attitude and word choice is all that seperate one guy from having no girls from the one that has the HB9's and HB10's, but that's as you put it the "DJ Matrix".

It's kind of like the efficient market theory. A guy has spent most of his youth playing in the market, he's tried many things even racked his brains over different ways to play the market. Basically his past reperesents most all available information. He's got all available information as feedback. There's no holy grail of information that will make his returns significantly more than what he's been averaging. I'm probably not explaining this part very well.

Sure any guy can make incremental strides, and sometimes he can get lucky and hit a big jackpot, and get the hottest girl. But thing about girls are they are always questioning if you deserve the winnings and will leave soon if they believe you don't.

A lot of guys are just going to have to lower their standards in regards to the girls looks. I'm not saying lower your standards in other qualities the girl has, but her looks, yes. If you don't have any girls you might have to lower your standards quite a bit.

Now if your a guy that's fine with not having any girl and maybe never having a relationship, then going after the big "prize" and taking the risk on hitting the lottery or ending up with nothing, that might be different.

I will say that for a lot of guys the DJ tactics are necesary to get ANY girls regardless of looks. But thinking you're going to go from nothing to top of the line is wishful thinking and mental masturbation. The reason I say this is the guy's will pass over what they can get believing thy can get better than her, yet they never do or they never even really try for the hotest girls in reality anyway.

Also there is a such thing as 9's and 10's. The girl knows she's one, the guys know it, other girls know it. I don't mean to step on anyone's toes but to say there's no 9 or 10's is the biggest point of the DJ Matrix. Whether you want to accept a girl is a 9 or 10 doesn't matter. Celebrities are 10's by defualt, some models are, Playboy Playmates are too. It's valid to say what anyone finds attractive is some what subjective and varies from person to person, but most guys will agree that a girl is attractive.

 

[st_99]

Oh, and another thing. We all have the power to get good looking by working out and eating right.

Of course, easier said than done for most people.

 

[ketostix]

Oh, and another thing. We all have the power to get good looking by working out and eating right.

Of course, easier said than done for most people.

In the spirit of this reality base thread I think that should be stated, "We have the power to get better looking by working out and eating right" .

There are people who are tall, built like an Adonis and eat junk all day and never touch a weight or exercise. Can you look like this guy with enough effort? Maybe and maybe not, but you will always be at a disadvantage because you had to invest a lot of time and opportunity cost for something someone else had with no effort who can spend his time improving on somthing else.

 

[guru1000]

This post is total BS. Accept what life gives you?? Accept reality???

You choose reality !!!!

I score hb8's -hb9.5's on a regular basis short term and long term. I also dump them, to the exception of one. I am also 200 lbs 6 % bodyfat and have a magazine cover body.

Guess what? I was NOT ALWAYS able to pull hb8's+. Now I can grab and hold any girl I want.

What did i do? Intense training, dieting, cardio, education, life experience(opening & closing businesses), character building, integrity searching and grabbed my balls to life.

This correct teaching here is to BUILD YOURSELF. Be a MAN. BE A PRIZE. How do you become a prize? Look like one, think like one , be ONE.

I can take any ugly or average looking guy in this site and within 18 months have him scoring HB8's -9's no problem.

Of course it's ridiculous to say we are going to take a 300 lb guy and make into a DON JUAN in a day. But a DON JUAN is formed in the mind first. Then actions takes place. Take this 300 lbn average looking guy and give him correct training and diet and thinking and yes he will be a PLAYBOY.

What your post does is kill hope to all the pathetic average fat JOES on this site , instead of inspiring them to be BETTER MEN physically and mentally.

INSPIRE, MOTIVATE AND CHANGE THE MINDSET. Provoke action and results will come.

Joekeer I sense life has shaped you and your ego is a little to big to accept the truth.

This will always remain true :

YOU ARE AS YOU THINK

 

[STR8UP]

Really, any type of over the top desire is self destructive if it keeps you from achieving results.

A guy might look at his neighbor's brand new swimming pool and think to himself "Man I gotta have me one of those! That guy doesn't even make as much money as I do" Then he goes out and drops 50 G's trying to keep up with his neighbor..

I think a lot of us do the same with women. I'm guilty of it myself. I usually have fairly attractive g/f's, and one time I dated a chick who was couple of notches lower on the scale, and I got sh!t from some of my friends for it. Not cool. I don't criticize ANYONE'S woman. I don't care who they are. But I guess that's how the world is.

That said....I personally wasn't as physically attracted to this particular girl, so maybe they were just seeing something I was in denial about.

Like I said before, once a woman meets a man's base criteria for physical beauty, that's all that really matters for him to build and hold attraction. Her personality can and does have an effect, but not nearly as much as a man's personality has on women. So if I can look at a woman and say to myself "Yea, she's hot" her beauty has met my criteria for physical qualifications, and there isn't much that's can happen that will make me look at her as "unattractive".

So should guys learn to be happy with less attractive women? Well, if they notice a pattern that longing for or chasing women who are high on the looks scale is holding him back, then yea, it might be time to look at whether or not he is being a bit unrealistic. Doesn't mean ANYONE should settle, it just means that they should make sure that they are measuring with their OWN scale, and not society's scale.

I personally do not long for a 9 or a 10. I think I AM capable of landing a very attractive woman....I don't think I'm that ugly. I get plenty of attention from 7's and 8's. But I would much rather have a 7 who is feminine and sweet and down to earth than a 9 who isn't as well rounded of a person.

 

[guru1000]

So should guys learn to be happy with less attractive women? Well, if they notice a pattern that longing for or chasing women who are high on the looks scale is holding him back, then yea, it might be time to look at whether or not he is being a bit unrealistic. Doesn't mean ANYONE should settle, it just means that they should make sure that they are measuring with their OWN scale, and not society's scale.

"She is out of my scale!"

HMMM.

Choice A - Decrease your standards

Choice B - Increase the standards in yourself.

 

[MacAvoy]

I haven't read the replies but I whole heartedly agree with your post Joker.

Yes it is possible for anybody to land a HB9.

However keeping her is a different story and in reality, there will be guys who look better than you and have the same skills. Of course the 1 in a million is a possibility but not realistic as stated.

You can use your DJ skills to move up. I equate this very similiar to ladder theory which I'm a bit rusty on. But basically you can only trade up so much with just skills, you need the complete package to keep her interest, otherwise another cat will come along with more of the package and the same skills.

Does that mean we should all settle? No but that doesn't mean we shouldn't all try to become astronauts. Realizing that we can't be an astronaut doesn't mean that we still can't dream of reaching for the stars.

I've come to realize this in my dating patterns. When guaging a women for a LTR, I guage more based on her qualities than her looks. I'm willing to put up with a little more pudge, if she's got great stand by her man characteristics (that being said, she still has to have a nice rack and actually turn me on).

However its not all about a 1-10 rating scale. If I want to fvck a HB9, I'll take $300-500 and hire an escort, if you find the right ones, they are clean and smoking but more importantly, they know what they are doing in bed. But in reality, if I've got a great women at home, I'm happy sarging any piece of "strange", that will fufill my appetite.

I agree though that you have to take everything with a grain of salt. You can't put blind faith into some DJ principles you found on the net. Like anything else, you have to use your judgement and determine what works for you.

 

[ketostix]

Choice B - Increase the standards in yourself.

I think what people are saying is you can't take Bill Gates and turn him into Brad Pitt. Not even with reconstructive and plastic surgery and especially not with just changing his attitude and the words he uses. Now I know someones going to say, Bill Gates could get as many girls as Brad Pitt. That's not the point . He's stil never going to be a sex symbol and there's a limit to how much change/improve any person can make. Not everyone has the same potential for the same things.

 

[guru1000]

I think what people are saying is you can't take Bill Gates and turn him into Brad Pitt. Not even with reconstructive and plastic surgery and especially not with just changing his attitude and the words he uses. Now I know someones going to say, Bill Gates could get as many girls as Brad Pitt. That's not the point . He's stil never going to be a sex symbol and there's a limit to how much change/improve any person can make. Not everyone has the same potential for the same things.

You are comparing apples with carrots. Bill Gates never worked out a day in his life. Pitt is ripped.

Let's take a more realistic comparison. Dave Palumbo(bodybuilder) and Brad Pitt. They both have great physiques (Pitt has a better physique, Palumbo is too big). However, Palumbo has a grotesque face (not even average). Palumbo is my neighbor. He lands hb9's- hb10's.

This is not rocket science.

IMPROVE YOURSELF and you will never settle. Anything you ask of life, with hard work and diligence, life shall deliver.

 

[STR8UP]

I think what people are saying is you can't take Bill Gates and turn him into Brad Pitt. Not even with reconstructive and plastic surgery and especially not with just changing his attitude and the words he uses. Now I know someones going to say, Bill Gates could get as many girls as Brad Pitt. That's not the point . He's stil never going to be a sex symbol and there's a limit to how much change/improve any person can make. Not everyone has the same potential for the same things.

Exactly.

Guru makes an EXCELLENT point though.

I am seriously in need of an overhaul of my entire existence.

I was laying in bed unable to sleep this morning at 8:30, on my only day off in a month, and I started thinking that SOMETHING needs to change.

Part of this is going to be getting my ass on the stationary bike in the gym a good 5 times a week. I'm 5'8' pushing 200lbs right now. I am a Meso/Endomorph. So although I have retained a good amount of muscle from my lifting days, I have also added some fat. I DO have wide shoulders, so my shoulder to hip ratio allows me to carry extra fat better than most people, but if I were to lose maybe 30 lbs i would be ripped, and I would get rid of the excess fat around the chin that makes a big difference.

Now I won't be doing this to get women or increase my rating, although I know that's a byproduct and I won't deny that when I do take the time and effort to reshape my body it's a HUGE confidence booster. Just makes me feel better all around, both physically and psychologically.

So yea, as Rollo says, "Don't wish the game was easier, wish you were better" or something like that. There is ALWAYS room for improvement, looks and otherwise.

 

[Mr.Positive]

The difference here is whether you want to improve yourself, as a person, to land HB10's, or for yourself.

If you remove the HB rating system completely. Say there are no HB10's, 9's etc, you remove putting women into classes, or leagues, or "pedestals". In your mind, you've just evened the playing field.

When you remove the leagues, you have women that you are attracted to, and women that you are not attracted to. That's it.

There is no woman that's too good for you, there's no woman that you say to yourself...when I make 100k a year I'll get her, when I gain 10lbs of muscle, if and only IF I better myself.

You start living life in the now. Focus on bettering yourself as a man, for yourself, strive to be the best YOU that you can be, but not to impress some HB!

That's my issue with rating women physically. It sets the bar high, but as long as you are improving, it's good.

But, you would be happier as a whole if you want to achieve things for yourself, not to impress anyone else.

 

[joekerr31]

great replies guys.

ill just add that my point is more about an innate way of thinking.

one poster mentioned how he's 200 lbs and 6% bf and he with 18 months he could turn any guy into scoring hb9s.

this is missing the point completely. the point im trying to make is that some people, even at 200lbs and 6%bf are simply not going to be babe magnets, but that is OK.

but what im saying is the DJ matrix is telling them that it is NOT ok. that if they can't get with the program, becomes more than who they are, start scoring hb 9s to prove that they have become more than who they are, then they have failed.

and im saying that his way of thinking is merely an extension of the real-world matrix - and that if you think it through enough it entails all the same flaws.

which is why we end up with these DJs who can score any chic but can't hold down an LTR. their entire world has become one of manipulation instead of authenticity.

you see, to me, the biggest DJ and one who has unplugged from teh DJ matrix AND the real-wrold matrix would be say a guy who is in a wheel chair who has made something of his life none the less and scored a quality woman in the process. and there are lots of these guys out there.

i mean, they have everything going against them, and yet they find joy and happiness and all the things 'average' guys are sunk into depression wishing they had.

and what is their secret?

if you ask me, its that they aren't plugged in to any matrix. they have truly unplugged. and upon doing so entered a state of consciousness towards life that trumps anything you will find on this DJ forum or in the real-world matrix.

but all that said, i do respect those views that think i'm pissing in the wind with this post. who knows, in the end perhaps what im saying is just hyperbole.

 

[joekerr31]

So yea, as Rollo says, "Don't wish the game was easier, wish you were better" or something like that. There is ALWAYS room for improvement, looks and otherwise.

and you know, i use to buy into this. and its a great example of how the DJ matrix is simply the other side of the same coin.

what im beginning to think, strongly at that, is that becoming better at the game doesn't make you better, it just makes you more a part of the game.

im saying perhaps by 'unplugging' from the game you enter into a whole different way of experiencing life - and could it be one that delivers everything you could ever want.

sounds crazy, but unplugging from 'the game' is what im talking about, all facets of it. it doesn't mean to stop living, in fact the opposite. it means to start living, but without all these rules and concepts of how to behave - to be authentic in yoru experience of life.

but to do this its a 3 step process like i describe above.

 

[guru1000]

and you know, i use to buy into this. and its a great example of how the DJ matrix is simply the other side of the same coin.

what im beginning to think, strongly at that, is that becoming better at the game doesn't make you better, it just makes you more a part of the game.

im saying perhaps by 'unplugging' from the game you enter into a whole different way of experiencing life - and could it be one that delivers everything you could ever want.

sounds crazy, but unplugging from 'the game' is what im talking about, all facets of it. it doesn't mean to stop living, in fact the opposite. it means to start living, but without all these rules and concepts of how to behave - to be authentic in yoru experience of life.

but to do this its a 3 step process like i describe above.

Welcome to the other side! Authenticity is value when you are of value. You have made the key internal belief change. You put your ego aside for a second, to recognize that.

 

[STR8UP]

sounds crazy, but unplugging from 'the game' is what im talking about, all facets of it. it doesn't mean to stop living, in fact the opposite. it means to start living, but without all these rules and concepts of how to behave - to be authentic in yoru experience of life.

Impossible. Unless you retire to a cabin in the middle of Alaska where a bush plane has to fly in your mac and cheese every week.

Fact is, no matter who you are or what you do 98% of the rest of the world doesn't even have a clue that there is a matrix. That means that you can take yourself outside of it to "escape" for awhile, but there is nothing short of becoming a hermit that will allow you to live your life completely outside of it.

 

[reset]

You start living life in the now. Focus on bettering yourself as a man, for yourself, strive to be the best YOU that you can be, but not to impress some HB!

What's the point in disqualifying yourself before you even MEET this girl?

Also, how can you get into a woman's brain and see through her eyes what she finds physically attractive or not?