"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Is it possible to be nice without being a nice guy?

habdragon08

Don Juan
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Im just not a jerk, I cant do it

I am nice to people, but dont allow them to walk over me

I DEFINITELY DO NOT fit the nice guy description on this site, but I dont fit the jerk decsription either.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Docs

Banned
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You can be nice. Just don't get her to expect it, you have to play them game, learn the rules and then BEND them to work for you.

Once you break rules..well..then you've crossed the line, right?

Understandy?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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DJ4Real

Master Don Juan
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You can be nice...sometimes...not all the time.

Basically, you can be nice....but have lots of backbone to back it up.
 

six-foot AZN '05

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Niceness is all about perception. If she thinks you're nice that's fine. If her friends think that you're nice, that's fine. Even if you think you are nice, that's okay. But if your guy friends say that you are being too nice then hold back a bit. Usually only your friends will see what is happening and tell you in english, not womenese.
 

mastersF

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Being nice is okay, as long as it is on your own terms. You have to pump in the element of surprise. For example, if she tells you she likes chocolates and asks you to buy some for her, dont, at least not till the next time you all meet. Even at that time, you dont have to like buy top grade chocolates and wrap them up in gold paper or something. Offer her some of the chocolates that you are eating, do make sure they are of substantial quality. show her that you know how to pamper yourself. That's not a really good example because i know you are asking about the general behaviour and not just specific incidents but i hope you do get the idea.

To sum my post up, be nice, but never supplicating.
 

adit

Don Juan
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Hold on,guys..

He said he's not a jerk in anyway.Then he said,he's nice but doesn't let people walk all over him.

Well,he fits the description of a pretty good DJ character-wise.Isn't a DJ somewhere in between a jerk and a nice-guy?

Am I missing something in here?
 

snobby

Don Juan
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adit said:
Hold on,guys..

He said he's not a jerk in anyway.Then he said,he's nice but doesn't let people walk all over him.

Well,he fits the description of a pretty good DJ character-wise.Isn't a DJ somewhere in between a jerk and a nice-guy?

Am I missing something in here?
you took the words right out of my mouth. Jerks dont attract women lol. Some do, but women dont like jerks, but they dont like a nice guy either. They just want a man in control. And if no woman cant take over you, then your good.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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chevypimpen

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I think it boils down to your definition of nice
AFC- Buying everything for her especially when you think you've screwed up
and are trying to buy her back (which buy the way promotes a *****y attitude from her) complimenting the piss **** out of everything she does
Don Juan- Opening doors, sparsly placed compliments, generally allowing her to spend time with such a great guy (you) but not taken ne bs off her:moon:
 
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