is it a good idea to fall in love?

[lokariototal]

what do you think, you should FALL in love with the girl you like or falling in love is just disney/chick flick movie material?

 

[lakeshore]

yes, its ok.

You'll get hurt at times, thats ok to. You'll live.

Just because you choose to accept that you may be "in love"
doesn't mean you have to act like a douche bag (afc).

 

[speakeasy]

what do you think, you should FALL in love with the girl you like or falling in love is just disney/chick flick movie material?

Since when is falling in love "an idea"?? It either happens or it doesn't.

 

[Blood Angel]

Since when is falling in love "an idea"?? It either happens or it doesn't.

He's asking if it's a positive thing to fall in love. Basically, he's wondering if he should try to avoid falling in love or not for whatever reason(s).

 

[Lexington]

It's okay to fall in love, but you should be careful about who you love. And yes, you can make a choice. It's not like those stupid movies where you can't help it. You can choose to protect yourself from a whole lot emotional trauma if you see the warning signs.

There are some girls you meet who'll seem great. Maybe she's a total sex bomb and at first there's a lot of passion and romance. But she might have a completely different set of priorities in life from you. She might have some serious issues. In those cases, have your fun and cut her loose.

So basically, you should make sure that you allow yourself to fall in love with someone with whom it will probably work. Ask yourself if the person meets all of the most important criteria you're looking for in a lover. If she doesn't meet even one of these criteria- tread carefully and DON'T fall in love.

 

[n00bPimp]

I think people were falling in love before disney existed. Put more thought into your questions before you start making threads please..

 

[Iceberg]

what do you think, you should FALL in love with the girl you like or falling in love is just disney/chick flick movie material?

If you're in love, then you're in love, right?

I don't see how it's a matter of choice. I mean, yeah, if we have a choice over these things, then love is a bad idea. I'd be a lot more productive if I could just bang various women, procreate, and never have to live with them.

 

[zekko]

Being in love may not be a good idea, but I don't think you've lived a complete life if you haven't experienced it.

I don't see how it's a matter of choice. I mean, yeah, if we have a choice over these things, then love is a bad idea.

Attraction is not a choice. How many times have we heard that on this forum, and in other seduction material?

 

[Iceberg]

Attraction is not a choice. How many times have we heard that on this forum, and in other seduction material?

Yeah. I'm agreeing with you.

 

[zekko]

Yeah. I'm agreeing with you.

And I'm agreeing with you.

 

[starplayer]

The problem is, most guys confuse "love" with oneitis.

I hate to say it, but I think men these days should avoid falling in love. Women can fall in love, they're slaves to their emotions, it's the meaning of life to them. But when a guy falls in love it can be me quite messy.

All the disney fantasy romantic ideas that men have been brainwashed with their entire lives should be avoided as much as possible. That is all a lie.

Having some feelings for a good girl who has proven she can be trusted is ok. But not all that "you're my everything, i would die for you" BS.

It's important to understand where those feelings of "love" come from. For a woman, she falls in love with an alpha male - the chemicals in her brain tell her to stick close to the alpha male because he will provide the best genes for her offspring. The one and only she needs. The ONE.

For a man however, he only falls in love when he has no other other options. He isn't biologically designed to stick with ONE female, he's supposed to have many and impregnate all of them. So when a guy falls in "love" with a woman, it's usually because there are no other women - she is his only one and he knows he must hold on to her for his best chance of passing on his genes.

So that's why to avoid love. It makes you act like an AFC and if you're in love with a woman it tells her you can't do any better than her.

 

[sageproduct]

For a man however, he only falls in love when he has no other other options. He isn't biologically designed to stick with ONE female, he's supposed to have many and impregnate all of them. So when a guy falls in "love" with a woman, it's usually because there are no other women - she is his only one and he knows he must hold on to her for his best chance of passing on his genes.

I just realized this is SO true after considering it for a bit. Every time I've had one-itis in my life, a KEY factor has been present: severe lack of other girls in my life.

 

[speakeasy]

The problem is, most guys confuse "love" with oneitis.

I hate to say it, but I think men these days should avoid falling in love. Women can fall in love, they're slaves to their emotions, it's the meaning of life to them. But when a guy falls in love it can be me quite messy.

All the disney fantasy romantic ideas that men have been brainwashed with their entire lives should be avoided as much as possible. That is all a lie.

Having some feelings for a good girl who has proven she can be trusted is ok. But not all that "you're my everything, i would die for you" BS.

It's important to understand where those feelings of "love" come from. For a woman, she falls in love with an alpha male - the chemicals in her brain tell her to stick close to the alpha male because he will provide the best genes for her offspring. The one and only she needs. The ONE.

For a man however, he only falls in love when he has no other other options. He isn't biologically designed to stick with ONE female, he's supposed to have many and impregnate all of them. So when a guy falls in "love" with a woman, it's usually because there are no other women - she is his only one and he knows he must hold on to her for his best chance of passing on his genes.

So that's why to avoid love. It makes you act like an AFC and if you're in love with a woman it tells her you can't do any better than her.

Very interesting theory!

Okay, well there is at least one biological reason men fall in love. That chemical, I think it's oxytocin that gives people the feeling of falling in love and bonding. It happens in men long enough so that he will bond to the woman after knocking her up. And he will be there to ensure the survival of the kid. Of course the oxytocin wear off over time and you won't get that butterfly feelings anymore. So it does have it's place in child rearing. Also, a man's testosterone level drops when he's holding a baby. So these things are natures way of encouraging the guy to stick around and not get her pregnant and run off. After that, I think the love is more practical. The love isn't based so much on giddy feelings, but on what's reasonable. You may decide you want a family, the big house, SUV and all that. And perhaps you've found a woman that fits well into your life and can bring you family life. So you will intensify your love, but it'll be a more sane type of love and not that the silly stuff people sing about in love poems a few months after they've met.

I agree with zekko, I think everyone should fall in love at least once just for the life experience.

 

[Serg897]

I hate to say it, but at this point, Im not even convinced "falling in love" is a real phenomenon.

 

[starplayer]

Very interesting theory!

Okay, well there is at least one biological reason men fall in love. That chemical, I think it's oxytocin that gives people the feeling of falling in love and bonding. It happens in men long enough so that he will bond to the woman after knocking her up. And he will be there to ensure the survival of the kid. Of course the oxytocin wear off over time and you won't get that butterfly feelings anymore. So it does have it's place in child rearing. Also, a man's testosterone level drops when he's holding a baby. So these things are natures way of encouraging the guy to stick around and not get her pregnant and run off. After that, I think the love is more practical. The love isn't based so much on giddy feelings, but on what's reasonable. You may decide you want a family, the big house, SUV and all that. And perhaps you've found a woman that fits well into your life and can bring you family life. So you will intensify your love, but it'll be a more sane type of love and not that the silly stuff people sing about in love poems a few months after they've met.

I agree with zekko, I think everyone should fall in love at least once just for the life experience.

Yeah true. I think it's OK for a man to have some feelings for a woman. You shouldn't be completely cold.

But that uncontrollable feeling that 99% of men call "falling in love" and making them do stupid things and stay with the wrong woman because she's so "special" and "LTR material" - that ain't love! That's just desperation and oneitis.



P.S. I also think men should fall in "love" at least once. In fact it's inevitable, it happens to everyone sometime. It's a great feeling... until it ends.

And when you get your heart broken you either make the same mistakes again and again, or if you're lucky you end up finding a place like this forum.

 

[eaglez1177]

This is a very interesting thread

 

[Scion]

In my experience it's not. But then again I've never experienced much positive aspects of being in love, so maybe it is. However I've made a promise to myself that I won't fall in love with some chick and get hurt. I know I make this sound like I fall in love often, but actually I only fell in love twice in my life, and neither of them were positive experiences. So now I do my best to distance myself emotionally.

 

[f283000]

Love is a horrible, horrible thing!

 

[speakeasy]

This thread has some good material. I like the idea of ALLOWING yourself to love versus FALLING in love. Totally different. I'm going to remember that.

I think having those feelings of being in love are okay, but make sure you don't love her more than she loves you. That's what's important. The one who loves the most has the least power in the relationship and is usually the one that gets kicked to the curb.

And yeah, falling in love does often lead to oneitis. I see it all the time. Certain types of love are probably best avoided, like that puppylove ****.

 

[teacha]

Love is a horrible, horrible thing!

LOVE is a wonderful and special thing!!!! If you find love; cherish it.