Is desperation the biggest thing that kills most men?

[GrowingPains]

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/kill-that-desperation.16926/

 

[bigdave17]

I approached a couple very cute 22-23 year olds tonight and totally destroyed it due to my intense burning desire to meet someone


goddamn it

 

[GrowingPains]

I approached a couple very cute 22-23 year olds tonight and totally destroyed it due to my intense burning desire to meet someone


goddamn it

All good. "All my losses were lessons". Try again.

 

[bigdave17]

All good. "All my losses were lessons". Try again.

what is causing this intense desperation?

I go into it thinking that I will not care about the outcome and I come across incredibly desperate cause I want it to happen so badly

 

[GrowingPains]

what is causing this intense desperation?

I go into it thinking that I will not care about the outcome and I come across incredibly desperate cause I want it to happen so badly

Just because you know how you should behave doesn't mean you will behave that way. You need to keep at it until your mindset truly changes. It's like learning to do a skill in sports. You know what it looks like... But you have to keep trying until you finally do it.

 

[Spaz]

I've already PM'ed both of you 1 or 2 days ago and gave both of you some face - a respect from me to you both.

Seems like 1 of you boys still gets a kick out of putting down someone who is obviously socially challenged.

 

[zekko]

I approached a couple very cute 22-23 year olds tonight and totally destroyed it due to my intense burning desire to meet someone

How so? Did you freeze up?

 

[steelpulse]

I don't know man. I think you are not understanding the real cause here. It's not that desperation is destroying your chances, it's that you are desperate because Armenian/middle eastern men are at the bottom of the dating hierarchy.

Racial minority males often struggle. Arab/Asian Indian-Pakistani/Middle Eastern men struggle a lot. They are at the bottom of the social hierarchy for dating. I almost never see arab/middle eastern guys succeed in clubs and bars. Several times, I have been recruited on the spot to intervene when arab guys are being try hard and the woman is getting fed up.

About a month ago I stepped into a Starbucks because I forgot my water for my workout. There was a tall, good looking middle eastern looking guy on a date. His date had a cute face, but she was short and overweight. A clear mismatch. Or was it? Maybe a mismatch in looks but perhaps not in dating value.

The strange thing is, arab/asian Indian men are far more aggressive in approaching women. Also, they seem not to get what "no" means. Hence, I am recruited.

It's strange, but dave17 is the male equivalent of the low value black women he refers to. Fat and ugly women are probably thinking: "how is this guy rejecting me? He's at the bottom of the social hierarchy!"

Dave17 is in a tough spot. He thinks he is at the top of the dating hierarchy for Armenian men but Armenian men overall are at the bottom of the dating hierarchy in western countries. Also, his pool is tiny because his tastes are so particular. He's setting himself up to fail. If guys at the top of the dating hierarchy will date all kinds of women, then dave17 handicaps himself severely by his being willing to date only a very specific type of woman when he is at the bottom.

 

[samspade]

I can't stress how important having a genuine purpose other than chasing tail is when it comes to talking to women. Outcome dependence is largely caused by your own thoughts & "holding yourself accountable" for trying to be social/get laid. The mindset goes from " maybe this person is cool, let's find out" to "Oh god she's hot, I hope she likes me" & that self imposed pressure is where it all begins to fall apart.
Having a genuine purpose (A mission, a job, a hobby, a goal in mind, etc) that you place most of your focus on makes interacting a lot easier in my experience. You don't care a whole lot whether things go good or bad with someone you speak to because your subconscious thoughts are preoccupied on something more important than getting ass.

Selling yourself to a girl like you're a used car that's reliable, dependable, & fun to drive is a fight youll never win. The chick has to come up with these conclusions on her own. Since so many chicks are used to guys fumbling over their words like retards due to their expectations of the interaction, the smoothest thing you can do is just talk to them like theyre a human being...because they are exactly that. It's not hard to ask a girl where she's from, why she does what she does for work, what she's passionate about, etc...dropping little things in the midst of convo about her like "I've never met someone passionate about 'insert thing here', that's unique of you" shows you're paying attention & find certain things about her attractive without flat out saying it. I forgot what book I read it in, but it said that when you go out to talk to people to tell yourself that the world is your playground & to treat it as such. Have fun for yourself. Not her.

Quoted
For
Truth.

This is great advice.

 

[steelpulse]

This is information from a recent dating study. Green bars show positive attraction. The higher the better. Red bars show negative attraction. The inverse of green.

As you can see, middle eastern (ME) and Indian men have the highest negative ratings of all the races. This is at least one of the reasons why ME and Indian men have to try so much harder. They are at the bottom of dating preferences in western societies.

Black women, middle eastern men and asian Indian men all have nearly exactly the same low scores (high negative ratings). This means dave17 has to expand his pool rather than narrow it down in order to succeed.

 

[bigdave17]

I don't know man. I think you are not understanding the real cause here. It's not that desperation is destroying your chances, it's that you are desperate because Armenian/middle eastern men are at the bottom of the dating hierarchy.

Racial minority males often struggle. Arab/Asian Indian-Pakistani/Middle Eastern men struggle a lot. They are at the bottom of the social hierarchy for dating. I almost never see arab/middle eastern guys succeed in clubs and bars. Several times, I have been recruited on the spot to intervene when arab guys are being try hard and the woman is getting fed up.

About a month ago I stepped into a Starbucks because I forgot my water for my workout. There was a tall, good looking middle eastern looking guy on a date. His date had a cute face, but she was short and overweight. A clear mismatch. Or was it? Maybe a mismatch in looks but perhaps not in dating value.

The strange thing is, arab/asian Indian men are far more aggressive in approaching women. Also, they seem not to get what "no" means. Hence, I am recruited.

It's strange, but dave17 is the male equivalent of the low value black women he refers to. Fat and ugly women are probably thinking: "how is this guy rejecting me? He's at the bottom of the social hierarchy!"

Dave17 is in a tough spot. He thinks he is at the top of the dating hierarchy for Armenian men but Armenian men overall are at the bottom of the dating hierarchy in western countries. Also, his pool is tiny because his tastes are so particular. He's setting himself up to fail. If guys at the top of the dating hierarchy will date all kinds of women, then dave17 handicaps himself severely by his being willing to date only a very specific type of woman when he is at the bottom.

everybody here assumes I'm Puerto Rican or Spanish. I have Mexicans who constantly talk Spanish to me without even asking me.

nobody here thinks I'm middle eastern. Americans don't even think westernized good looking middle eastern people exist.

also i like thick Spanish and middle eastern ethnic women...not like my taste is skinny pale white girls

I like women with similar features to me...

 

[steelpulse]

The negative rating for Hispanic men is almost as bad as it is for middle eastern men. It doesn't matter whether women view you as middle eastern or hispanic. It's still a huge negative in western countries.

 

[bigdave17]

The negative rating for Hispanic men is almost as bad as it is for middle eastern men. It doesn't matter whether women view you as middle eastern or hispanic. It's still a huge negative in western countries.

how so? Mario Lopez, Ricky Martin (before he came out as gay), Enrique Iglesias, etc... are all huge sex symbols

I also want a Spanish or Middle eastern woman. Why would they not want a good looking decent height (5'10 is tall to Mexican chicks) guy?

 

[steelpulse]

how so? Mario Lopez, Ricky Martin (before he came out as gay), Enrique Iglesias, etc... are all huge sex symbols

I also want a Spanish or Middle eastern woman. Why would they not want a good looking decent height (5'10 is tall to Mexican chicks) guy?

Etc lol. You name 3 people, all outliers. Plus those guys are just pushed by the media because of affirmative action and political correctness. Most Mexican chicks want to date outside of their race and will whenever they have a chance.

You are in denial. You recognize how bad black women have it. They are at the bottom of the social hierarchy as you put it, but you refuse to acknowledge that Mexican and middle eastern men are viewed in almost exactly the same way as black women: at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

I see lots of Mexican and middle eastern men out at the clubs and bars. They fail miserably. Some of them show up with girls from their social circles but as far as dating they can't compete.

 

[bigdave17]

Etc lol. You name 3 people, all outliers. Plus those guys are just pushed by the media because of affirmative action and political correctness. Most Mexican chicks want to date outside of their race and will whenever they have a chance.

what is this based on? The vast VAST majority of mexican and middle eastern women I know are dating mexican and middle eastern men. Do you have any proof?


am I responding to a troll?

 

[steelpulse]

what is this based on? The vast VAST majority of mexican and middle eastern women I know are dating mexican and middle eastern men. Do you have any proof?


am I responding to a troll?

Mexican chicks WANT to date outside of their race. Whether they are able to is another question. See the difference?

Anyway, you're getting off point. You're not struggling because you're desperate. You're struggling because you are at the bottom of the dating hierarchy. You are going to struggle. When you struggle to get results, you are going to get desperate. But it's not desperation per se, it's your low social status.

It's difficult for you to see that because it's politically incorrect for women to say they don't like black men or Mexican men or middle eastern men. They can't say that so you go in thinking you have a chance when most times you don't.

Just like men can't say "black women are ugly and unattractive." If you did you'd have the PC police harassing you night and day until you retracted. Even though all you did was tell the truth. Yeah you can name a few black actresses and claim they represent all black women but that's just being dishonest.

You have two options: continue what you're doing and get nothing, or settle for a less attractive girl.

 

[bigdave17]

Mexican chicks WANT to date outside of their race. Whether they are able to is another question. See the difference?

again what is this based on? Absolutely nothing

I've talked to a very hot 35 year old mexican woman at my job and she said she would not date a white guy because of the usual divide in culture. She said she gets along best with mexican dudes (35 is way too old for me before you ask why I'm not going after her)

I think you have a point about Asian and Indian men. Asian men tend to look effeminate and Indian men often don't look European. Latin and light skin middle eastern men tend to both look European and obviously look plenty masculine. You're putting middle eastern all in 1 group - Pakistani men look way more ethnic than I do.

Same thing with the women - Pakistani women are nowhere near as attractive as Turkish and Armenian women (who look more european). Light skin middle eastern people look way closer to Italian/Greek/Spanish than they do Indian or Paki

Anyway, you're getting off point. You're not struggling because you're desperate. You're struggling because you are at the bottom of the dating hierarchy. You are going to struggle. When you struggle to get results, you are going to get desperate. But it's not desperation per se, it's your low social status.

I know multiple mexican guys at my gym with hot mexican girlfriends. I met a totally bald Puerto Rican dude last year with a very hot Venezuelan girlfriend

I would say my issues are my own problem. I don't know many good looking Latin or Middle Eastern dudes who struggle as badly as I do.

You have two options: continue what you're doing and get nothing, or settle for a less attractive girl.

Dude are you retarded? I'm going for about the female version of me - an ethnic 6/10 with a nice body who is also a decent all around catch in terms of intelligence, class, finances, etc....

 

[steelpulse]

LOL, you are a dumb ass. You correctly point out black women are at the bottom of the social hierarchy but are in complete denial of where middle eastern and Mexican men stand. At the bottom.

Now, you are going off on some tangent because you don't want to face the truth. It's clear you are going to keep fvcking up like you always have and you will get nothing. Because that's exactly what you've gotten: below average women or nothing. Wait didn't a black woman reject you as well? That means you can't even date women at the bottom of the social hierarchy! You are below rock bottom!

 

[bigdave17]

LOL, you are a dumb ass. You correctly point out black women are at the bottom of the social hierarchy but are in complete denial of where middle eastern and Mexican men stand. At the bottom.

Now, you are going off on some tangent because you don't want to face the truth. It's clear you are going to keep fvcking up like you always have and you will get nothing. Because that's exactly what you've gotten: below average women or nothing.

black women are at the bottom of social hierarchy because black features are least european and least feminine. Latin and Light skin middle men are both European and masculine looking

All your studies FYI say that middle eastern and latin women respond fine to middle eastern and latin men. I never denied that white men overall do the best in dating but a lot of that is races I'm not really interested in (I don't care for light skin white women due to their flat bodies and horrible aging comparing to ethnic women).


nothing you can ever provide says that latin and ME women respond poorly to latin and ME men

 

[steelpulse]

black women are at the bottom of social hierarchy because black features are least european and least feminine. Latin and Light skin middle men are both European and masculine looking

All your studies FYI say that middle eastern and latin women respond fine to middle eastern and latin men. I never denied that white men overall do the best in dating but a lot of that is races I'm not really interested in (I don't care for light skin white women due to their flat bodies and horrible aging comparing to ethnic women).


nothing you can ever provide says that latin and ME women respond poorly to latin and ME men

Yet you get zero results. That means you are even below Mexican and ME men who can at least date their own women. You can't.