GrowingPains
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2018
- Messages
- 953
- Reaction score
- 690
- Age
- 30
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
All good. "All my losses were lessons". Try again.I approached a couple very cute 22-23 year olds tonight and totally destroyed it due to my intense burning desire to meet someone
goddamn it
All good. "All my losses were lessons". Try again.
Just because you know how you should behave doesn't mean you will behave that way. You need to keep at it until your mindset truly changes. It's like learning to do a skill in sports. You know what it looks like... But you have to keep trying until you finally do it.what is causing this intense desperation?
I go into it thinking that I will not care about the outcome and I come across incredibly desperate cause I want it to happen so badly
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
How so? Did you freeze up?I approached a couple very cute 22-23 year olds tonight and totally destroyed it due to my intense burning desire to meet someone

everybody here assumes I'm Puerto Rican or Spanish. I have Mexicans who constantly talk Spanish to me without even asking me.I don't know man. I think you are not understanding the real cause here. It's not that desperation is destroying your chances, it's that you are desperate because Armenian/middle eastern men are at the bottom of the dating hierarchy.
Racial minority males often struggle. Arab/Asian Indian-Pakistani/Middle Eastern men struggle a lot. They are at the bottom of the social hierarchy for dating. I almost never see arab/middle eastern guys succeed in clubs and bars. Several times, I have been recruited on the spot to intervene when arab guys are being try hard and the woman is getting fed up.
About a month ago I stepped into a Starbucks because I forgot my water for my workout. There was a tall, good looking middle eastern looking guy on a date. His date had a cute face, but she was short and overweight. A clear mismatch. Or was it? Maybe a mismatch in looks but perhaps not in dating value.
The strange thing is, arab/asian Indian men are far more aggressive in approaching women. Also, they seem not to get what "no" means. Hence, I am recruited.
It's strange, but dave17 is the male equivalent of the low value black women he refers to. Fat and ugly women are probably thinking: "how is this guy rejecting me? He's at the bottom of the social hierarchy!"
Dave17 is in a tough spot. He thinks he is at the top of the dating hierarchy for Armenian men but Armenian men overall are at the bottom of the dating hierarchy in western countries. Also, his pool is tiny because his tastes are so particular. He's setting himself up to fail. If guys at the top of the dating hierarchy will date all kinds of women, then dave17 handicaps himself severely by his being willing to date only a very specific type of woman when he is at the bottom.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
how so? Mario Lopez, Ricky Martin (before he came out as gay), Enrique Iglesias, etc... are all huge sex symbolsThe negative rating for Hispanic men is almost as bad as it is for middle eastern men. It doesn't matter whether women view you as middle eastern or hispanic. It's still a huge negative in western countries.
Etc lol. You name 3 people, all outliers. Plus those guys are just pushed by the media because of affirmative action and political correctness. Most Mexican chicks want to date outside of their race and will whenever they have a chance.how so? Mario Lopez, Ricky Martin (before he came out as gay), Enrique Iglesias, etc... are all huge sex symbols
I also want a Spanish or Middle eastern woman. Why would they not want a good looking decent height (5'10 is tall to Mexican chicks) guy?
what is this based on? The vast VAST majority of mexican and middle eastern women I know are dating mexican and middle eastern men. Do you have any proof?Etc lol. You name 3 people, all outliers. Plus those guys are just pushed by the media because of affirmative action and political correctness. Most Mexican chicks want to date outside of their race and will whenever they have a chance.
Mexican chicks WANT to date outside of their race. Whether they are able to is another question. See the difference?what is this based on? The vast VAST majority of mexican and middle eastern women I know are dating mexican and middle eastern men. Do you have any proof?
am I responding to a troll?
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
again what is this based on? Absolutely nothingMexican chicks WANT to date outside of their race. Whether they are able to is another question. See the difference?
I know multiple mexican guys at my gym with hot mexican girlfriends. I met a totally bald Puerto Rican dude last year with a very hot Venezuelan girlfriendAnyway, you're getting off point. You're not struggling because you're desperate. You're struggling because you are at the bottom of the dating hierarchy. You are going to struggle. When you struggle to get results, you are going to get desperate. But it's not desperation per se, it's your low social status.
You have two options: continue what you're doing and get nothing, or settle for a less attractive girl.
black women are at the bottom of social hierarchy because black features are least european and least feminine. Latin and Light skin middle men are both European and masculine lookingLOL, you are a dumb ass. You correctly point out black women are at the bottom of the social hierarchy but are in complete denial of where middle eastern and Mexican men stand. At the bottom.
Now, you are going off on some tangent because you don't want to face the truth. It's clear you are going to keep fvcking up like you always have and you will get nothing. Because that's exactly what you've gotten: below average women or nothing.
Yet you get zero results. That means you are even below Mexican and ME men who can at least date their own women. You can't.black women are at the bottom of social hierarchy because black features are least european and least feminine. Latin and Light skin middle men are both European and masculine looking
All your studies FYI say that middle eastern and latin women respond fine to middle eastern and latin men. I never denied that white men overall do the best in dating but a lot of that is races I'm not really interested in (I don't care for light skin white women due to their flat bodies and horrible aging comparing to ethnic women).
nothing you can ever provide says that latin and ME women respond poorly to latin and ME men
Yet you get zero results. That means you are even below Mexican and ME men who can at least date their own women. You can't.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.