nicksaiz65
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 27, 2017
- Messages
- 3,716
- Reaction score
- 1,470
- Age
- 27
I like the way that you describe the fitness aspect, in that "it reduces the social skills threshold to get laid." I think that's really true.I agree that the best thing for a nerdy guy to do is work out and develop a physique that will attract women.
No one in the real world would use the phrase “hobbymaxing”. Participating in hobby groups would be a real world, normal expression. That would be social calibration.
I agree that a single guy should be meeting women everywhere.
One of the problems is that a lot of hobbies aren’t entirely female friendly.
As an in-shape guy, I enjoy a lot of fitness activities. I’ve been playing tennis since before puberty. Tennis is a supposedly female friendly sport. For a variety of reasons, tennis isn’t a great way to meet women under 40. It might be a little bit better for meeting 40-55 year old divorced females receiving nice alimony payments if you’re at a private club.
In terms of fitness/athletics, the best way to meet women is usually through some group fitness class. Most of the group fitness classes are majority female. There are numerous styles of fitness classes so it is best to pick one that will be enjoyable for you. Fitness classes avoid the earbud on the general gym floor problem too. You also have to realize that there’s a narrow window for approaching. You’re looking at the 5 mins before class and the 5 mins after class for approaching. Maybe 1-2 approaches per session. You’re doing a 45-60 minute class for that 10 minute window. You’re at least getting a good workout out of it if nothing happens.
Even though fitness classes are majority female, it’s no guarantee of success. Some gyms/fitness studios are not particularly social. Even in the more sociable ones, almost no other guys do approaches there and even women interacting with each other on a friendly basis isn’t a given.
Fair assessment. Next quote will illustrate this more.
If you do cold approaching, you have to devote a lot of time to it in order to get it done. There are more efficient and less emotionally distressing to do things. You’re dealing with a lot of unqualified prospects, since you don’t know if anyone you’re approaching is receptive to it. Granted, you can do a little bit of strong eye contact and smiling qualifying for prospects to see if the women are going to be receptive to an interaction, but even that isn’t ideal. A lot of Millennial women are not good at body language signaling. Many of them are playing with their phones a lot.
In the sales/business development world, cold calling has been discredited as a method for business development since at least the 1990s.
I’ve done approaching in malls and never been close to being kicked out. You would have to have really poor social skills to get kicked out for doing approaches.
I’ve been in my current city for 9 years now. When I first got to the city, I knew no one. I did meet some male friends but none of us hooked each other up. All of us were recent transplants to the city. A lot of times, if we did perceive an opportunity within a social tribe (which was a weak tribe), we would all be competing for the same girl. One guy in this social circle moved here with a girlfriend and later married her. There’s no guarantee that this will happen. One guy in the social circle met a woman through the social circle because she was a distant co-worker of his at a large company. All of us guys made plays for this woman, and she wasn’t even that spectacular. While she was and still remains today cute and thin, she had a prudish reputation and she’s boring with not a great personality.
In the 9 years here, I’ve dated and mated outside of my main social circle simply because my social circles have not been viable. Part of this might be because I am a transplant in a transplant heavy region and it’s a large metropolitan area with generally weak tribes.
I’m better than average looking and have some social skills, so I can make pickup work. I got an extended relationship out of a grocery store approach and an extended relationship out of playing pickup volleyball. You’re right that a nerdy person without social skills isn’t going to be able to make it work in cold approaching. You did need some threshold of looks and social skills to do some approaching,
App swiping isn’t going to be any friendlier than approaching without looks and social skills. It might actually be worse.
This is why people with not spectacular social skills should focus on their physiques. It will reduce the threshold of social skills needed to get laid. This can work in bars and can often produce short term lays, often just one night. It would not help over an extended relationship. For extended relationships, social skills are going to be relevant.
I’m not convinced. The younger generation of women are generally worse at signaling. I do make strong eye contact and smile at women, and will often see who returns the eye contact and smile. It’s not a high percentage. Either the people are not interested in meeting someone new, they have poor social skills (becoming increasingly common), or I am not attractive.
Big muscles and a rock hard six pack also force women to put you in that "sexual threat" box if you're a nerd. It gets you more respect from guys as well.
Last edited: