"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Interest vs. Attraction

Vikman

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I'm interested in a new woman. I have casual conversations with her daily on the job, but she has not asked me any questions about my personal life.

Here's my question: if a woman doesn't ask you questions about your life, does that mean she is not attracted to you?
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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kratosnofear

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Who knows?! She's probably not that into you or just a horrible conversationalist. Are there any other signs? Are you making her laugh and being fun?
 

szof

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When women disproportionately either: talk about themselves or ask you about you - they are not interested. An attracted woman participates in a give and take - a conversation that flows naturally when she is talking to a man she is interested in and to whom she wants to demonstrate her value.
 

speakeasy

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szof said:
When women disproportionately either: talk about themselves or ask you about you - they are not interested. An attracted woman participates in a give and take - a conversation that flows naturally when she is talking to a man she is interested in and to whom she wants to demonstrate her value.
Gotta disagree with you there. I think if a woman is asking a lot about you, that is a definite sign of interest. Unless they are interviewing your for a job or trying to figure out whether to fix you up with one of their friends, a woman is generally not going to ask you a barrage of questions, especially of a personal or emotional nature if she's not interested.
 

szof

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speakeasy said:
Gotta disagree with you there. I think if a woman is asking a lot about you, that is a definite sign of interest. Unless they are interviewing your for a job or trying to figure out whether to fix you up with one of their friends, a woman is generally not going to ask you a barrage of questions, especially of a personal or emotional nature if she's not interested.
I forget who it was who said, a stranger to a man is someone he doesn't know whereas a stanger to a woman is someone who doesn't know of her. Anyways, if a woman is interviewing you, she may just be trying to toy with you or gauge your value - it is not a sufficient indicator of her interest in you. If she never escapes interrogation mode, she is not interested or, at best, doesn't care to demonstrate her own value.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Stage

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I agree with szof. From my experience I have noticed that women generally ask a question in retort to one of yours as an indicator of interest. For example if you ask them something about themselves, they'll return the question by making it a little bit more personal. I have found that this is a really good indicator of interest. A woman's interest lies within how personal the information she is trying to get out of you is.
 

BadAssMoFo

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That's rationality talking.

Just because a woman doesn't ask you questions about you doesn't mean anything.

She could be totally shy, insecure, or whatever..but that doesn't bar attraction.
 

speakeasy

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By definition, anyone that's continuing to talk to you when they don't have to is interested in you on some level or they'd find a polite excuse to exit the conversation. Interest is the gateway to attraction.
 

Jestor

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Vikman said:
I'm interested in a new woman. I have casual conversations with her daily on the job, but she has not asked me any questions about my personal life.

Here's my question: if a woman doesn't ask you questions about your life, does that mean she is not attracted to you?
Depends, usually there's a feeling out process.
 

xectxny19x

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I'd have to agree with szof. Great points, man. :rockon:

Anyway, why spend time gauging a girl's interest in you? Just a make move and find out for sure. :trouble:
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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IPreyOnIt

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I don't think thats what it means. She might just be shy with it, or maybe just shy with it around you. Do you act like a real jackass when people ask you personal questions? LOL? And has she witnessed this?
 

Poonani Maker

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If a woman tells you that "this is her last day (at work)" and that "(I) won't get to see (her) again" until September (she's just a temp and she's going back home to live with her parents for the summer), does this mean she's interested in me? She's always flirting with me. I told her that she reminds me of a girl that I used to know in grade school (of the same last name). Every time she saw me she'd say, "Are you happy your favorite person is here?...I am." She says this almost every single time we encounter in business. She's also about 20 or 10 years younger than me. I think she thinks I'm younger than I am (I take good care of myself and I'm hot and cool).
 
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