"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Interest vs. Attraction

Vikman

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I'm interested in a new woman. I have casual conversations with her daily on the job, but she has not asked me any questions about my personal life.

Here's my question: if a woman doesn't ask you questions about your life, does that mean she is not attracted to you?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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kratosnofear

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Who knows?! She's probably not that into you or just a horrible conversationalist. Are there any other signs? Are you making her laugh and being fun?
 

szof

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When women disproportionately either: talk about themselves or ask you about you - they are not interested. An attracted woman participates in a give and take - a conversation that flows naturally when she is talking to a man she is interested in and to whom she wants to demonstrate her value.
 

speakeasy

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szof said:
When women disproportionately either: talk about themselves or ask you about you - they are not interested. An attracted woman participates in a give and take - a conversation that flows naturally when she is talking to a man she is interested in and to whom she wants to demonstrate her value.
Gotta disagree with you there. I think if a woman is asking a lot about you, that is a definite sign of interest. Unless they are interviewing your for a job or trying to figure out whether to fix you up with one of their friends, a woman is generally not going to ask you a barrage of questions, especially of a personal or emotional nature if she's not interested.
 

szof

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speakeasy said:
Gotta disagree with you there. I think if a woman is asking a lot about you, that is a definite sign of interest. Unless they are interviewing your for a job or trying to figure out whether to fix you up with one of their friends, a woman is generally not going to ask you a barrage of questions, especially of a personal or emotional nature if she's not interested.
I forget who it was who said, a stranger to a man is someone he doesn't know whereas a stanger to a woman is someone who doesn't know of her. Anyways, if a woman is interviewing you, she may just be trying to toy with you or gauge your value - it is not a sufficient indicator of her interest in you. If she never escapes interrogation mode, she is not interested or, at best, doesn't care to demonstrate her own value.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Stage

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I agree with szof. From my experience I have noticed that women generally ask a question in retort to one of yours as an indicator of interest. For example if you ask them something about themselves, they'll return the question by making it a little bit more personal. I have found that this is a really good indicator of interest. A woman's interest lies within how personal the information she is trying to get out of you is.
 

BadAssMoFo

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That's rationality talking.

Just because a woman doesn't ask you questions about you doesn't mean anything.

She could be totally shy, insecure, or whatever..but that doesn't bar attraction.
 

speakeasy

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By definition, anyone that's continuing to talk to you when they don't have to is interested in you on some level or they'd find a polite excuse to exit the conversation. Interest is the gateway to attraction.
 

Jestor

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Vikman said:
I'm interested in a new woman. I have casual conversations with her daily on the job, but she has not asked me any questions about my personal life.

Here's my question: if a woman doesn't ask you questions about your life, does that mean she is not attracted to you?
Depends, usually there's a feeling out process.
 

xectxny19x

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I'd have to agree with szof. Great points, man. :rockon:

Anyway, why spend time gauging a girl's interest in you? Just a make move and find out for sure. :trouble:
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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IPreyOnIt

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I don't think thats what it means. She might just be shy with it, or maybe just shy with it around you. Do you act like a real jackass when people ask you personal questions? LOL? And has she witnessed this?
 

Poonani Maker

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If a woman tells you that "this is her last day (at work)" and that "(I) won't get to see (her) again" until September (she's just a temp and she's going back home to live with her parents for the summer), does this mean she's interested in me? She's always flirting with me. I told her that she reminds me of a girl that I used to know in grade school (of the same last name). Every time she saw me she'd say, "Are you happy your favorite person is here?...I am." She says this almost every single time we encounter in business. She's also about 20 or 10 years younger than me. I think she thinks I'm younger than I am (I take good care of myself and I'm hot and cool).
 
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