"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Interest vs. Attraction

Vikman

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I'm interested in a new woman. I have casual conversations with her daily on the job, but she has not asked me any questions about my personal life.

Here's my question: if a woman doesn't ask you questions about your life, does that mean she is not attracted to you?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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kratosnofear

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Who knows?! She's probably not that into you or just a horrible conversationalist. Are there any other signs? Are you making her laugh and being fun?
 

szof

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When women disproportionately either: talk about themselves or ask you about you - they are not interested. An attracted woman participates in a give and take - a conversation that flows naturally when she is talking to a man she is interested in and to whom she wants to demonstrate her value.
 

speakeasy

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szof said:
When women disproportionately either: talk about themselves or ask you about you - they are not interested. An attracted woman participates in a give and take - a conversation that flows naturally when she is talking to a man she is interested in and to whom she wants to demonstrate her value.
Gotta disagree with you there. I think if a woman is asking a lot about you, that is a definite sign of interest. Unless they are interviewing your for a job or trying to figure out whether to fix you up with one of their friends, a woman is generally not going to ask you a barrage of questions, especially of a personal or emotional nature if she's not interested.
 

szof

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speakeasy said:
Gotta disagree with you there. I think if a woman is asking a lot about you, that is a definite sign of interest. Unless they are interviewing your for a job or trying to figure out whether to fix you up with one of their friends, a woman is generally not going to ask you a barrage of questions, especially of a personal or emotional nature if she's not interested.
I forget who it was who said, a stranger to a man is someone he doesn't know whereas a stanger to a woman is someone who doesn't know of her. Anyways, if a woman is interviewing you, she may just be trying to toy with you or gauge your value - it is not a sufficient indicator of her interest in you. If she never escapes interrogation mode, she is not interested or, at best, doesn't care to demonstrate her own value.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Stage

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I agree with szof. From my experience I have noticed that women generally ask a question in retort to one of yours as an indicator of interest. For example if you ask them something about themselves, they'll return the question by making it a little bit more personal. I have found that this is a really good indicator of interest. A woman's interest lies within how personal the information she is trying to get out of you is.
 

BadAssMoFo

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That's rationality talking.

Just because a woman doesn't ask you questions about you doesn't mean anything.

She could be totally shy, insecure, or whatever..but that doesn't bar attraction.
 

speakeasy

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By definition, anyone that's continuing to talk to you when they don't have to is interested in you on some level or they'd find a polite excuse to exit the conversation. Interest is the gateway to attraction.
 

Jestor

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Vikman said:
I'm interested in a new woman. I have casual conversations with her daily on the job, but she has not asked me any questions about my personal life.

Here's my question: if a woman doesn't ask you questions about your life, does that mean she is not attracted to you?
Depends, usually there's a feeling out process.
 

xectxny19x

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I'd have to agree with szof. Great points, man. :rockon:

Anyway, why spend time gauging a girl's interest in you? Just a make move and find out for sure. :trouble:
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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IPreyOnIt

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I don't think thats what it means. She might just be shy with it, or maybe just shy with it around you. Do you act like a real jackass when people ask you personal questions? LOL? And has she witnessed this?
 

Poonani Maker

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If a woman tells you that "this is her last day (at work)" and that "(I) won't get to see (her) again" until September (she's just a temp and she's going back home to live with her parents for the summer), does this mean she's interested in me? She's always flirting with me. I told her that she reminds me of a girl that I used to know in grade school (of the same last name). Every time she saw me she'd say, "Are you happy your favorite person is here?...I am." She says this almost every single time we encounter in business. She's also about 20 or 10 years younger than me. I think she thinks I'm younger than I am (I take good care of myself and I'm hot and cool).
 
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