"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Insight

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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The Antichrist_Star

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*Cracks knuckles* Insult the site... fine. Insult my intelligence... wrong answer. I always love how people come out sometimes guns blazing in debates... can we not just get along gentlemen (and lady). After all... I am a peaceful guy.

No wonder you guys suck at relationships. The idea that she is in love with him is a completely foreign concept to you nutjobs, because you guys are so brainwashed by this site. If you would quit being so existential and open your mind you might see her point of view.
Again... guns blazing. First... we continue to go back to these assumptions (terrible things those are). I have engaged in four relationships to be exact... all four of them have lasted for at least a year or more. Moreover (moreso directed to the Mrs. in this conversation) I have been engaged once (a lot of people did not know that) and considered marrying twice (did not know that either). I decided against those things simply because I had yet to live. I did not say just leave him for someone else Mrs. (you continue to misinterpret me) I have not denied the fact that he is special to you (we have all been there) all I ways suggesting is that you live a little... you would be surprised what you find out.

Love (although I question its definition) is not a foreign concept to me or anyone else Metal... but I something I believe many of us fail to realize is that love does not have a concrete definition. Ergo... what I consider "love" may not be what you or even Mrs. consider as love. Also... if anything this site is beginning to preach the finding of "love" more and more, I believe we are moving past the "misogynist, bitter stage" and are moving to a higher ground. I have seen her point of view... hell... I have been there. All I am trying to get her to do... is think. That is all... just think.

P.S.: Lik... I was in a relationship... someone I considered marrying (I may still). However... both of us at the moment just have too much we want to do... so it ended amicably. We probably will get together again down the road... but hey.

Now I move on to the Mrs. My gripe with you LuvMyArmyMan exists in two parts. One... you assume that you have a special case. Which for everyone else... you may. Me... been there, done that... got the t-shirt. Second... you assume (again) that no one here has a ****ing clue of what you are talking about. Many people here may not... but we are the same age (I am actually 19) and have shared a lot more experiences than you think. I have been where you have been (see above). Is sex better when it is with someone you are close to... yes. Is it completely terrible when it is casual... I think we can both say no to that one. If it is terrible of me to assume that your sex will be terrible (notice... I said you would be disappointed... I did not say it was going to be terrible) is it not just as bad to assume that marriage will be the best thing since sliced bread (since you have never been married...)?

Again... I will say this again, since you did not understand it the first time. I did not say do not marry him all I said is that you guys may be better off if you simply accomplish what you want to do in your respectively lives... and then give it a whirl. If you guys love each other that much you could be away from each other for millennias and it would not matter. Right?

Now you bring in your Christianity... well why did you not say that before? My last reply would have been a lot differently. Again do not assume sugar... I am not going to give you any hell for it (I use to be a Bible toting Christian) moreover... I am the last person to stone someone for what they have done in there past. Moreover... even though I am not a devout Bible touter anymore (I believe in God, but not religion) sticking to your faith is a respectable measure.

I always love when people on the internet say something insipid like "You cannot comment on the situation or say anything about me... because you do not know me." *Start sarcasm* No **** Mrs... tell us something we do not know. We do not know each other... however, what I do know is the information you have been so kind as to share with us. I gave my opinions on that little bit of information, just like you have giving your opinion on what you think this site is about. *End sarcasm*

*Start repition* Sugar... I never said that finding your future spouse was a bad thing... again... I have been there... I know what you mean... let that sink into your brain. All I was saying is you will meet another man that will spark interest in you... that is how life works. It happens to everyone. I never said that you would explore that interest... I merely said it will happen... and it will too. You cannot tell me it would not. Moreover, has that been your measure in this relationship. All of the other ones have not gone so good... but this one is... so it must be gold? Sugar... think. That is all I want you to do. Marriage is a permanent instance... you cannot take it back. I have witnessed so many fail before my eyes (being a junior marriage counselor) because people did not think. People did not realize that they would have to wake up next to this person every single day. Breathing the same air, smelling each others ****... all of that. Marriage is a whole different ball game sugar... you and I both know that... I just want you to think about it... that is all.

Moreover... as you have seen above, I have been in my fair share of long term relationships (and plenty of short ones)... changes your post a bit doesn't it? Thought I know **** about relationships and was merely talking out of my ass? Allow me to make something quite clear to you Mrs. If it can happen in a relationship... more than likely, I have been in it. I have been crushed (multiple times), cheated on (multiple times) have had great relationships that just simply ended... the whole nine yards. I know a ****load more about relationships than I often lead on... so spare me your impression that I am the "typical" man. I have plenty of people around me and around here that could tell you otherwise.

Here's a secret... here's the real reason that I do not do relationships. It is because I have no time for it... there is too much I want to do at the moment. If I was to get in a relationship (actually... the biggest reason why most of my relationships have ended) is because I am "too busy". I have no gripes against these women... I do not expect anyone to keep up with me... and I also know that people get sedentary when they get in relationships... and I am just not that kind of person. I want nothing more than to settle down... but that would be an insult not only to me... but insulting to that person... I would be wasting there time. It is not like I am out there just because I want notches on my bedpost (although I get my fair share) in fact... I spend a great deal of my time by myself. But like you Mrs... I want to go places, see things, live, breathe, and think... and I cannot do that having to consider someone else's feelings.

Lastly... everyone needs to improve themselves sugar... no one is an exception. Ironically... you said he has no need for improvement... but he has flaws... I keep catching you in contradictions. ;)

Ob*serve (verb): 1. Notice, 2. Watch attentively, 3. Be formal witness, 4. Be spectator, 5. Comment, 6. Comply with, 7. Celebrate festival.

Interestingly enough sugar... observe says nothing about having knowledge of something. Ergo... I can observe birds, and thereby make certain assumptions about birds... but I am not a bird. Translation... you can make assumptions about this site... but until you actually become a part of this place (rathering that insulting it) you will never know what it is about.

Ciao Bella... ;)
 

LikRetsam

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/speechless.
 

tactic

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Soo LuvMyArmyMan (I apologize if i spelled your name wrong), you made a statement about why us men at this site suck with relationships. Maybe you can give a detailed explanation of how a real MAN does his job in a relationship.
 

LuvMyArmyMan

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Originally posted by tactic
Soo LuvMyArmyMan (I apologize if i spelled your name wrong), you made a statement about why us men at this site suck with relationships. Maybe you can give a detailed explanation of how a real MAN does his job in a relationship.
actually that wasnt me, that was someone else.


Well ya know what Matrix? Maybe I would respect your knowledge if you actually made it clear and did not withhold any information about previous relationships, and because of my ignorance you cannot say that I assume.....If one is ignorant of certain details, they are bound to assume. If you dont want people to make assumptions about your relationship knowledge, then at least let people know of your experiences, before people start to assume and judge. And please stop calling me "sugar" and "mrs". i find it somewhat degrading.

Maybe you havent thought that I want to get married to this person, and once again, is it really any of your business who I marry?? Yes, I already admitted that I will (and have) met someone else that has sparked my interest, and if things do not work out with the bf (yes, I do admit this is a possibility, **** happens) then maybe i'll act on it.

Have you considered that we are NOT on the same wavelength when it comes to relationships? clearly you have a pessimistic view of them, and I have an optimistic. Nothing wrong with that, but you cannot criticize me for having a different viewpoint

Have you considered that I have thought this relationship out? That now is the best time for us? We talked about eloping....but right now there are too many things going on in our lives, I am 7 hours away at school, we dont have any money, and he is still going to Kosovo no matter what. yeah, we could get married now, but it isnt the measure of committment we are ready for. We dont act like we're married, we dont spend every waking moment together, and yes, I do know that marriage is a diffucult thing to maintain.

i AM thinking. I just think it cannot occur to you because of your view on relationships. believe me, its really fvcking hard being in a LTR AND LDR relationship. But i believe in the notion that two people are meant to be together, and God is gonna make sure they're gonna be together, no matter what. Call it old-fashioned or a stupid idea, but its what I believe.

Why is it so bad to believe that being with the man i love for the rest of my life? Its almost as if you make marriage out to be the worst thing possible. why would sex be a disappointment on our wedding night? You dont know what our sex life was before, so you cannot say that it is going to be a disappointment. I could understand if we were both virgins, but we arent.

and we already are going to be apart, so why not enjoy being with each other and accomplish things together? after all, isnt that what being in a relationship is all about? Doing things together? If i'm wrong, then by all means correct me, but as far as I am concerned, being in this kind of relationship is about togetherness.

I never claimed to know anything about this site, all I gave was my insight and observations. Hence, the title of this thread. and my usage of the word "observe". I never said anything like "i KNOW this site is about....", i only said "I FEEL this site is about . . . " Knowing and feeling are very different things. I know I probably dont know a thing about this site, all i was saying what i''ve OBSERVED from it.

I know youre going to defend it beause youre a Mod, and I understand that.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

The Antichrist_Star

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Sorry umm... ma'am (Seriously... your name is just too long.) It appears as if we are finally reaching some middle ground in this conversation. I like this last post here Luv... it may be your most honest one yet. And okay... I did not tell you about my relationship experience... but you left out your Christianity up until the end as well. So we are both harboring secrets. Alas however Luv... we may becoming to understand one another. And hot damn... I think we even agree on something. We may become friends yet Luv. ;)

One thing you are absolutely right about Luv... it is absolutely none of my business what so ever what you do in your life, or whom you choose to marry. Honestly... I hope all of this does work out for you... I really do. My life has been surrounded with failing marriages (and a see them everyday). So if you guys end up the next best couple since Nick and Jessica... then more power to you. All I asked is that you accepted that possibility... you have... that is all I requested.

And have you ever considered Luv... that we may be closer on the wavelength scale than you originally believed? We have already agreed on a few things and I am about to clear up some more misunderstanding. I do not have a pessimistic view about relationships... I used to at one point, but I have grown pass that. It is just that I (unlike most of the population) accept relationships for what they really are. The butterflies and the flowers go away... that is what a lot of people do not realize. That is what I attempt to point out.

Moreover, I have taken into account that you are a very intelligent human being (you can keep up with me... somewhat) and even though I probably have not mentioned it.... I am sure you have given your situation plenty of though (especially because you are in it). And in this thinking (obviously you have given it some more thought during this conversation) you have realized that this is an daunting (doable... but daunting) task. Now that these things are being placed on paper... it is starting to click on your head. I am not trying to deter this in any shape, form or fashion Luv... I am just trying save you from going into something blindly. Maybe I should not give a damn... but I do. Why? Because I know what it is like to be in the same situation. I have wanted to elope before, I know how difficult Long Distance Relationships are. That is why I am commenting on the situation Luv... because I have been where you are. And here at Sosuave... this is what we do... to help our peers sort things like this out.

If you believe that God is going to get you through this... then believe that. I am not saying do not believe that. Listen to me... I want this to work for you as much as you do. I am not trying to wish bad on you or cursing you... I just want you to see reality. Again... there is nothing wrong with being with this man for the rest of your life... stop getting defensive... you have no reason to keep defending yourself. I am not trying to attack you in anyway. Go on... be merry... be together for many moons to come for all I care.

I will leave that there simply because I know that the more you think about it... the more you will see that we are not as far apart as you once believed... until later then Luv...


Matrix, what is your definition of "live" that can't be done within marriage? Who says you can't have a life and be married?
You can have a life and be married Metal... but it is not your life anymore... it is yours and your partner's. I have too many things that I wish to accomplish in my own personal life... I have no time to focus on a woman. In marriage... you are considering two people... possibly more. You cannot just do whatever you want anymore because you have other people to consider... I do not want to have to do that. By the time I marry (if there exists a woman crazy enough to marry me) I want to be able to completely focus on her and no secretly wish that I could be by myself to I can achieve a goal. So that is what I mean by "live" Metal. When you marry... your life is not your own anymore... and it should not be. Your life is shared (your's and your partner's) and you cannot just do things on a whim... and right now... I am pretty whimisical. I never said you cannot have a life whilst you are married (assumptions again) I am merely saying that your life is no longer completely your own.

I am off...
 

LuvMyArmyMan

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you are a smart person.

I do think that we're on somewhat of the same level. I'm sorry that youve had bad experiences with relationships.

and with the whole failing marriages all around you, thats happening to me right now. My neighbors across the street from me are getting divorced (they have a 5 and 8 year old) because the husband was cheating, and had a gf. He took all the money and left. several of my parents friends are getting seperated. its depressing but i try to keep a positive outlook on things.

Part of the reason why I think nick and jessica are the "couple of the century" is because they waited to have sex until they got married. They are an example of how great that can be. I want that!

I know the feelings fizzle. Ive accepted that. sucks, but its inevidable.

haha i think i'm only being defensive because i get this all the time. I got b1tched at by a drunk girl i went to HS with at a party when i was home. basically i'm sick of hearing it. I didnt want to bring up the religious thing because on bolt, you bring up religion, you DIE.

but thanks for not jumping down my throat for having religious reasons, and for hearing my side.
 

deeloo

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wanna get a life instead of writing essays debating with ppl who u dont even know over the internet?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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deeloo

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lol whatever.. i write 1 liners, yet u write essays that has over 2000 words.. who has more of a life.. LMAO.. lady please.. stop makin me laugh miss.
 

tactic

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Sure there are TONS and TONS of guys who have no skills with women outside of the internet, but what about those "players"-type or the guys who can get into almost any relationship who do NOT use the internet? I'm not on anybody's side here but I guess it's a question to ask for you guys to answer. Where do you think these guys have such skills? They were born with the skills of handling women or they know from past experiences with their brother or friends?
 

The Antichrist_Star

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Aww... group hug everybody. But seriously Luv... I am not that bad of a guy after all huh? I think the real reason everybody thinks Nick & Jessica are the best thing since sliced bread is because, number one... most humans have nothing better to do in our current society... and two... for some reason we have drummed up some idealistic idea about marriage... and in theory those two are "it". So unrealistic... it is saddening. I am sure for ratings purposes... Music Television does not show the worse of the worse when it comes to their marriage, because whenever I have been strapped down to a chair long enough to catch one of their pathetic arguments... they are so weak and choreograhped. If that is what the perfect marriage is like... I will pass on that one.

Basically... Nick and Jessica are a the result of a fallacy in our society... we do not want to take life for what it is. There is still that 52% divorce rate that we have yet to lower. You and I are both seeing marriages crumble all around us. And I think the biggest reason for that is because their relationship is not like Nick and Jessica's... or Cinderella's for that matter. As for proving that it is so much better if you wait for marriage... very debatable topic.

As for what everyone else thinks and giving you hell for it... screw them. Do what you want to do Luv... and accept the fact that people will always give you hell if you are doing something that they are not doing.

No problem on clearing things up Metal... always good to understand one another. :)

Dirty Rockstar...
 

Spike_the_cowboy

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Uhmm,

Who the heck are 'Nick & Jessica'?....

I'm lost.


Sammo,

"Once again, your assuming. He may have had more attractive (emotionally and physically) gf's then you. Just because you dont like it doesnt mean other chicks wont."

True that. Thanks for the backup~


:cool:
 
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"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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fezz

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luvmyarmyman, I agree with your post. I was thinking about that the other day. If the "don juans" here really didn't need girls, then they wouldn't still be worrying over little stuff, like when to call and what to say. Most people don't really see the point of this site and yes, most of them still revolve their lifes around girls. I'm sure it has already been said, but the point of this site is to learn how to get girls, but to more imporatantly know how to be happy without them.
 
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