Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

"I'm a pretty ugly guy so probably won't like me"

r4zorsharp

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You're right, and its not because you're ugly.. its because you think you are and are moving like it.

When I tell you, I've seen some ugly dudes make complete magic when it comes to women.. you have no idea what kind of examples im talking about.

I know this guy we'll call Big T. This guy is at least 320 lbs at 5'6 or 5'7. When I tell you he's fat, ... He's not just fat, he can hide a whole cell phone under one of his breasts fat. But the kind of women he gets attention from, wow. He will have parties, and at the end of them he's sleeping with one of the hottest girls. He has a few different girls he sleeps with currently. At a beach, he is the first one to take his shirt off.

So what gives? Why is he so confident? Let me tell you why.. He's a rapper. His life and passion revolve around music, and while he's not super successful he makes enough money to live decently and has enough of a fan following. He also has lots of friends, and travels from city to city doing what hes passionate about.

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Now we got another guy, this guy is a 5'4 skinny Indian dude who looks like one of those guys you might see on the side of the road in India wearing torn clothes asking for money.. Not saying he's ugly, but he has physical disadvantages.. (or are they?) This guy has thousands of matches on Tinder a month.. and thats being very very modest considering i've seen what hes capable in a day. He's slept with hundreds of women in his life. hundreds.

What gives?

I'm not too sure about this guy since I don't know him all too well.. But what i learned and do know is that he seems to not care what anyone thinks of him and he has unbreakable confidence.. he is so self assured in himself the way he talks, and when things dont work out, he just moves on from the idea within seconds.. I've seen him approach maybe 10 girls and strike out, and not be phased, and then end up making out with the 11th girl and taking her home.

He also has some nice hair and not a bad looking face. He's mastered the art of apps though and instagram, through having amazing pictures and knowing how the system works. It seems like his angle of personality is that he travels the world and is very interesting and "exotic". He often uses this persona as if he's some kind of dancer who travels the world dancing or something.

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I do have other examples too.. One is a dude whos married to this Asian model looking chick. He's a bald peanut headed Ethiopian guy with bulging eyes. He looks more scary than ugly, but usually jokes about himself alot about how he's ugly as it doesn't phase him at all. In fact, hes one of the most confident people I've ever met.

Whats the deal? This guy just has a great personality, and is hilarious. Very expressive in the way he talks and his personality is very bold and unique. He's also successful and has alot of friends.

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Now what do all these dudes have in common? They have passions/hobbies and great personalities/social lives. Their priorities are not women and they don't sit around thinking about women, except the Indian dude who made much of his life revolve around women as he got into the whole PUA thing. I remember he had a youtube and instagram and used to also sell courses.. Just don't know his stuff anymore.
 

flowtheory

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Yup. Pouring energy in to a passion is what gives a man purpose and a path to walk. Everyone knows this. It gives him something greater than petty romance or any sort of navel gazing. What gives a man true juice is creating his own world.

When you’re on purpose your mind is solution driven. Rather than problem driven. Growth mindset vs fixed.

It’s all really simple when it’s laid out. What the answers are. But I think we’re programmed in many ways to look at what we’re not, as opposed to what we have and are.

1. Pursue Passion
2. Build body, mind, spiritual, sexual confidence
3. Be social
 

mrgoodstuff

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Even if your face is "ugly" you can have be have a great build, you can dress good, and you can have a magnetic personality and swag so good you could bottle and sell it.
 

stringpuller

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The one area of RP community that i don't agree with.
Yes biological competition exists but comparing yourself to other men in looks is the #1 one way to kill your frame. Be your own and maximize what you have. Its really that simple
 

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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Attraction for women is largely fueled by social status, like look at Quentin Tarantino, dude looks like a Gremlin and acts like he heads the Kremlin, but that's his purpose.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Attraction for women is largely fueled by social status, like look at Quentin Tarantino, dude looks like a Gremlin and acts like he heads the Kremlin, but that's his purpose.
Agree 110%... Social status in circles that she values are much more valued than "looks". "They" are chameleons to PLEASE these social circles.
 

r4zorsharp

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Calling bullsh*t on this one. No offense.
Hahah no problem brother. No offense taken. These dudes actually exist. I'm just not going to put their social medias on blast however.
 

7onriverI f

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With that indian guy approaching 10 girls and the 11th hitting it off with her can be completely avoided. A guy should be able to walk into a place and know which girls are into him. This is done by actually going out.

Talking to guys who get girls they will advice you that girls are looking at you. From there you notice this ****. Deep down you have seen this stuff since you were 12 through flashing through your memory bank looking at the past experiences.

Me talking about banging 5 girls is not exactly the normal thing that goes on with everyone. Most people just have a girlfriend. Some have friends with benefits for a small point of time until the girl dates someone.
 

stormrider

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i wouldnt look at ugly out of shape guys or loserish guys and think “man they can get girls, there must be something cool about them.”

I look at them from the frame of “why is he out of shape nd letting himself go. That’s not healthy.“ And “why isn’t he maximizing his finances.”

To me, getting random girls here and there doesnt mean anything. It’s not an impressive feat after you’re 21 years old.

I don’t use women as a standard for anything. Even Losers can get women.

The standard should be beyond women and romance.

The standard should be greatness And realizing your maximum potential.

Sure, getting women is part of it. But when I hear stories of fat guys and losers, it doesnt impress me that they get girls. I look at why they arent living up to their full potential.

How can you be happy being broke and fat? Getting your d1ck sucked every now and then at parties doesn’t make it any less depressing.
 
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7onriverI f

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i wouldnt look at ugly out of shape guys or loserish guys and think “man they can get girls, there must be something cool about them.”

I look at them from the frame of “why is he out of shape nd letting himself go. That’s not healthy.“ And “why isn’t he maximizing his finances.”

To me, getting random girls here and there doesnt mean anything. It’s not an impressive feat after you’re 21 years old.

I don’t use women as a standard for anything. Even Losers can get women.

The standard should be beyond women and romance.

The standard should be greatness And realizing your maximum potential.

Sure, getting women is part of it. But when I hear stories of fat guys and losers, it doesnt impress me that they get girls. I look at why they arent living up to their full potential.

How can you be happy being broke and fat? Getting your d1ck sucked every now and then at parties doesn’t make it any less depressing.
Lol forget greatness. Who cares about pride.

Go for helping people. Whether that's giving money and time to a charity or giving a woman a orgasm that's what it is about. Getting ripped could be part of this to give women a show and strip for them. Even working at McDonald's is providing a product for someone who wants it so it's helping people. Life is not about impressing people to make yourself feel good but to help people so that makes you feel good.
 

stormrider

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Lol forget greatness. Who cares about pride.

Go for helping people. Whether that's giving money and time to a charity or giving a woman a orgasm that's what it is about. Getting ripped could be part of this to give women a show and strip for them.
My version of greatness is how I can make an impact on my community. I was great with women my whole life, but I never considered it as any type of achievement. My friends might have envied my ability, but I took it for granted

That’s why I said i don’t use women as a measuring stick for anything. A$$holes can get women.
 

BackInTheGame78

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i wouldnt look at ugly out of shape guys or loserish guys and think “man they can get girls, there must be something cool about them.”

I look at them from the frame of “why is he out of shape nd letting himself go. That’s not healthy.“ And “why isn’t he maximizing his finances.”

To me, getting random girls here and there doesnt mean anything. It’s not an impressive feat after you’re 21 years old.

I don’t use women as a standard for anything. Even Losers can get women.

The standard should be beyond women and romance.

The standard should be greatness And realizing your maximum potential.

Sure, getting women is part of it. But when I hear stories of fat guys and losers, it doesnt impress me that they get girls. I look at why they arent living up to their full potential.

How can you be happy being broke and fat? Getting your d1ck sucked every now and then at parties doesn’t make it any less depressing.
I think what OP is trying to point out is if these guys who have what so many would call disadvantages are able to get women then most other guys and forum posters really don't have any excuses to use as to why they can't that are valid.

At the end of the day the mind will go to great lengths to ensure what you believe comes true...if you believe things are going to prevent you from getting women they will and if you believe they won't then they won't. Will you get every woman you want? No of course not, but most guys don't realize they are capable of getting far better women than they think they can. Just have to have the right mindset and attitude to do it.
 

stormrider

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I think what OP is trying to point out is if these guys who have what so many would call disadvantages are able to get women then most other guys and forum posters really don't have any excuses to use as to why they can't that are valid.

At the end of the day the mind will go to great lengths to ensure what you believe comes true...if you believe things are going to prevent you from getting women they will and if you believe they won't then they won't. Will you get every woman you want? No of course not, but most guys don't realize they are capable of getting far better women than they think they can. Just have to have the right mindset and attitude to do it.
Most guys on the forum are just clueless. It’s not a matter of mindset. You can teach them the best mindset but if they don’t have the roadmap, they will still end up in Seattle when they wanted to go to florida.

To me, mindset is overrated when it comes to chicks. It’s like saying you need to climb mt. Everest just to get laid. Getting laid is actually a lot easier and even guys with the crappiest mindsets manage to do it.

What matters when it comes to getting 20+ accidental lays a year is simply having hobbies where you are around women.

You dont need bulletproof confidence. There were times when I was insecure and socially awkward and still got laid consistently.

You just have to go to the gym and work out, be around women, absorb social calibration through osmosis, and let the women seduce you, because that’s what they do. That’s their role.

You guys are looking at the op’s post and conflating the success of those guys to confidence and self esteem. Perhaps even the OP is doing the same.

This is how you create a mythical unicorn.

The answer is MUCH simpler.

Those guys are in the right environments where lays happen.

A much more simplistic and practical advice to give people is to develop hobbies and passions that have women in it, work out and wear better clothes, and women will seduce them.

Instead of trying to give them pseudo science inner game advice, which rarely is effective. All you guys are doing is creating a mythical Don Juan unicorn.

In real life People get laid in social circles all the time, and most of them are just as insecure as the rest of us.
 

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7onriverI f

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Most guys on the forum are just clueless. It’s not a matter of mindset. You can teach them the best mindset but if they don’t have the roadmap, they will still end up in Seattle when they wanted to go to florida.

To me, mindset is overrated when it comes to chicks. It’s like saying you need to climb mt. Everest just to get laid. Getting laid is actually a lot easier and even guys with the crappiest mindsets manage to do it.

What matters when it comes to getting 20+ accidental lays a year is simply having hobbies where you are around women.

You dont need bulletproof confidence. There were times when I was insecure and socially awkward and still got laid consistently.

You just have to go to the gym and work out, be around women, absorb social calibration through osmosis, and let the women seduce you, because that’s what they do. That’s their role.

You guys are looking at the op’s post and conflating the success of those guys to confidence and self esteem. Perhaps even the OP is doing the same.

This is how you create a mythical unicorn.

The answer is MUCH simpler.

Those guys are in the right environments where lays happen.

A much more simplistic and practical advice to give people is to develop hobbies and passions that have women in it, work out and wear better clothes, and women will seduce them.

Instead of trying to give them pseudo science inner game advice, which rarely is effective. All you guys are doing is creating a mythical Don Juan unicorn.

In real life People get laid in social circles all the time, and most of them are just as insecure as the rest of us.
Best post I have read all year. Had a girl the other week who was giving me a massage ask if I go to the gym. I said I went to the gym 10 years ago for 2 months 4 days week. She said your very strong. I am 214lbs at 5 foot 10. Must be the high LDL cholesterol levels. I notice a difference in 1 day of eating 150g of protein and doing 100 pushups on the day and the next day I'm buff as fark.

Just ate 6 donuts and had 2 pies for breakfast. Really need to fix the diet since I'm fat as fark.

Girls call me fat teasing me.

I got a gym membership but I don't go. Guess what. I'm going right now. Going to train back and triceps.

Peace out bros. Listen to this storm guy. He knows what's up.
 

Serenity

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A much more simplistic and practical advice to give people is to develop hobbies and passions that have women in it, work out and wear better clothes, and women will seduce them.
In my experience this is the lie. I qualified for 5 YEARS without being seduced, plenty women around and none of them showed the slightest interest in me. All of my change was internal and it made a massive difference.

This just tells me you have always had the right basic mindset and don't really know the effects of a bad mindset. A bad mindset will affect the way you walk and talk in such a way that you will turn women off. You'll be left wondering what the hell you're doing wrong, with no obvious answers as you don't even understand the connection between internal state of mind and external expression.

Following your advice on this is the worst thing to do for someone who suffers from a bad mindset. They've sat around waiting for god knows how long and not a single woman has approached them, there you are telling them to essentially continue waiting to be seduced. They may very well have hobbies, be around women, look physically good and wear good looking clothes with zero success because that's not their core issue, their mindset is all messed up.

As I said, I haven't changed much physically, but I have developed a lot mentally since I came to this forum as a clueless guy trying to figure out why I wasn't getting laid. Even beyond women it has not passed without being noticed, most people who have known me before and after has in some way commented on how much I've improved.

I've also witnessed several other guys who based on what they do and how they look would be of no interest to women, yet they pull women like crazy. They all have very defined and strong personalities in common, they're clear and unashamed about who they are.
 

stormrider

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In my experience this is the lie. I qualified for 5 YEARS without being seduced, plenty women around and none of them showed the slightest interest in me. All of my change was internal and it made a massive difference.

This just tells me you have always had the right basic mindset and don't really know the effects of a bad mindset. A bad mindset will affect the way you walk and talk in such a way that you will turn women off. You'll be left wondering what the hell you're doing wrong, with no obvious answers as you don't even understand the connection between internal state of mind and external expression.

Following your advice on this is the worst thing to do for someone who suffers from a bad mindset. They've sat around waiting for god knows how long and not a single woman has approached them, there you are telling them to essentially continue waiting to be seduced. They may very well have hobbies, be around women, look physically good and wear good looking clothes with zero success because that's not their core issue, their mindset is all messed up.

As I said, I haven't changed much physically, but I have developed a lot mentally since I came to this forum as a clueless guy trying to figure out why I wasn't getting laid. Even beyond women it has not passed without being noticed, most people who have known me before and after has in some way commented on how much I've improved.

I've also witnessed several other guys who based on what they do and how they look would be of no interest to women, yet they pull women like crazy. They all have very defined and strong personalities in common, they're clear and unashamed about who they are.
There are 10,000 posts on this forum on mindset. Most guys have read all of them and they are still clueless.

I ask them the same questions.

Do you have hobbies that have women in it? 99% of the time, the answer is no.

They have no social ecosystem whatsoever that have built in women.

Your post tells me you started off worse than the average guy.

Like you had damaged self esteem or something. That’s your projection.

The average guy who has a social ecosystem with women in it can get laid easily.

You don’t need to rewire the average guy and give him pseudo inner game advice. You just need to tell him practiCal advice.

Thats why I said pseudo inner game advice is largely ineffective for the average dude who just needs a better social life.

It has its place. But not for 99% of the population who aren’t psychologically messed up.
 
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stormrider

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Best post I have read all year. Had a girl the other week who was giving me a massage ask if I go to the gym. I said I went to the gym 10 years ago for 2 months 4 days week. She said your very strong. I am 214lbs at 5 foot 10. Must be the high LDL cholesterol levels. I notice a difference in 1 day of eating 150g of protein and doing 100 pushups on the day and the next day I'm buff as fark.

Just ate 6 donuts and had 2 pies for breakfast. Really need to fix the diet since I'm fat as fark.

Girls call me fat teasing me.

I got a gym membership but I don't go. Guess what. I'm going right now. Going to train back and triceps.

Peace out bros. Listen to this storm guy. He knows what's up.
People think they know, but they are just speaking from their own projections and limited viewpoint.

I used to teach an entire city of guys in game. I used to be a leader of those dreaded “PUA lairs,” lol. That’s why I know exactly what the average guy needs.

My experience comes from having taught hundreds of men of all shapes and sizes and profession.

But people are free to debate with me though, if they think they know better.
 

BadBoy89

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I honestly think the men of sosuave have no issues getting sex from women. Sex is very easy to get.

Where men have troubles is getting the admiration, companionship, love and respect from women.
This is very hard to get. When women have endless options, are consistently validated, can do no wrong and are never responsible, it very difficult for a man to secure the commitment of a beautiful woman unless he is an alpha male.

Don’t except loyalty or commitment from women. Get sex from them, and move on.
 
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