Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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ignoring "her"

trd323

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Well i have been talking to this girl in my class(college), and yesterday I felt like crap and had a really bad day. Well i usually walk her home but yesterday i did not feel like it so I just left without waiting for her, and i started talking on the phone. Did i mess things up? I messaged her that i had a bad day and i did not want to take it out on anyone, and she messaged back that i looked upset and that she was not able to say hi to me.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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milkman

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Originally posted by trd323
Well i have been talking to this girl in my class(college), and yesterday I felt like crap and had a really bad day. Well i usually walk her home but yesterday i did not feel like it so I just left without waiting for her, and i started talking on the phone. Did i mess things up? I messaged her that i had a bad day and i did not want to take it out on anyone, and she messaged back that i looked upset and that she was not able to say hi to me.
No problem, everything is good. ;)

BTW, girls like emotional stuff and being in a bad mood from time to time is only natural. It let you appear like a human being instead of an always-laughing-always-in-supergood-mood-totally-fake-robot.
 

biker_gixxer

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Did i mess things up? ]

If anything, you intrigued her. You got her thinking about you and wondering what happened. Keep this type of thing going... Be mysterious...

I wouldn't have texted her talking about your 'bad day'. Girls don't like it when guys play the 'victim', it's not a very masculine trait.

I would have waited until the next day when you saw her again. I'm sure the first question out of her mouth would have been 'what happened?'...
 

trd323

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oh ok. Yeah I was thinking about not messaging her, i guess I still have traces of AFC in me. But I am trying hard to get it out of me.
 

squirrels

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Originally posted by trd323
Did i mess things up?
Only if you worry about having messed things up. You dont' need to apologize to her if you had a sh!tty day. Just tell her you'll catch her later/tomorrow when you feel better.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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biker_gixxer

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Originally posted by trd323
oh ok. Yeah I was thinking about not messaging her, i guess I still have traces of AFC in me. But I am trying hard to get it out of me.
It's a learning process bro, don't sweat it...
We all have a certain amount of AFC in us. Some of us have gallons of it, enough to fill an oil tanker, lol. Others have a few drops...
 

Wiesman44

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Trd, may I ask you why you bothered to post this ? How are we supposed to know if you messed anything up.

It looks like you had a bad day and she realized that, so what is your point here ? We don't live your life.
 

trd323

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well i was wondering if completely ignoring her in class when we would talk during class, and i would walk her home after class. So, i wanted to know if completely ignoring her messed things up
 

steroidsrule

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calm down wies...the guy questioned one of his decisions and wanted to know if it was a good or bad move...we all have times when we question our decisions and we did what this board was designed to do...help out each other
 

Freeman

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Originally posted by trd323
Well i have been talking to this girl in my class(college), and yesterday I felt like crap and had a really bad day. Well i usually walk her home but yesterday i did not feel like it so I just left without waiting for her, and i started talking on the phone. Did i mess things up? I messaged her that i had a bad day and i did not want to take it out on anyone, and she messaged back that i looked upset and that she was not able to say hi to me.
No you didnt screw up-Im sure she understands man...
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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