If you aren't going forward, you are giong backwards

[Boilermaker]

LOL what a dumb question.

Yeah, I have to agree you sound like an idiot when you write "LOL" like a pre-pubescent teenager.

BB, you should quit it too brother, it just doesn't exist in the English language. And it doesn't mean a thing to the majority of us.

Oh, I apologize for disrupting this beautifully coherent thread, it flows like Beethoven.

Go on, everyone

Please.

 

[backbreaker]

giving a solution would imply that there is a problem which I do not believe is the case. It's just the way **** is.

Sex or having a companion it's not like it's in the bill of rights or anything. ***** is not a constitutional right lol. There will always be winners and there will always be losers. That's just the way **** is and has been and always will be.

when you break all the **** down, all of it, the emotions, the sex drive, why we do what we do, the very core of our being is simply, to produce offspring that have a great chance to go on and produce themselves. That is how the human race has survived and thrived for as long as it has. That's our basic function as human beings.

I was watching blue planet last night (again lol) and it was the eposide where the walrus or whatever sea lion whatever the fvck the big fat ass animals were on the polar ice caps and there was this one lion just taking all the walurs ***** lol. all of it. and then the other males would come up and he woudl blow up his nose or whatever and scare all the dudes off and keep fvcking all the females. I'm sure all the beta walrus would fit right in with the guys who think that hypergamy is a ****ty thing, but evolution/nature requires it. It's bigger than what I think is fair or whatever.

Yeah, I have to agree you sound like an idiot when you write "LOL" like a pre-pubescent teenager.

BB, you should quit it too brother, it just doesn't exist in the English language. And it doesn't mean a thing to the majority of us.

Oh, I apologize for disrupting this beautifully coherent thread, it flows like Beethoven.

Go on, everyone

Please.

I don't take myself that seriously to really give a **** honestly. **** lol is probably better spelled than half the fvcking words i type and you want me to stop that? what am i going to have then lol?

 

[Buddha_Mind]

giving a solution would imply that there is a problem which I do not believe is the case. It's just the way **** is.

Sex or having a companion it's not like it's in the bill of rights or anything. ***** is not a constitutional right lol. There will always be winners and there will always be losers. That's just the way **** is and has been and always will be.

when you break all the **** down, all of it, the emotions, the sex drive, why we do what we do, the very core of our being is simply, to produce offspring that have a great chance to go on and produce themselves. That is how the human race has survived and thrived for as long as it has. That's our basic function as human beings.

I was watching blue planet last night (again lol) and it was the eposide where the walrus or whatever sea lion whatever the fvck the big fat ass animals were on the polar ice caps and there was this one lion just taking all the walurs ***** lol. all of it. and then the other males would come up and he woudl blow up his nose or whatever and scare all the dudes off and keep fvcking all the females. I'm sure all the beta walrus would fit right in with the guys who think that hypergamy is a ****ty thing, but evolution/nature requires it. It's bigger than what I think is fair or whatever.


I don't take myself that seriously to really give a **** honestly. **** lol is probably better spelled than half the fvcking words i type and you want me to stop that? what am i going to have then lol?

I love mother nature, so this is relevant. Yes the biggest bad-ass walrus might get the walrus-pvssy, but walruses also sh!t in front of each other, p!ss in front of each other, eat food raw -- we don't do everything animals do, to compare one set of their actions and impulses and say we humans are the same isn't a fair comparison. We have huge frontal lobes and the portion of the brain that controls some of our most primal animalistic things is, quite small, and we can see from the 16 pages on this thread alone, that humans are good at building a PSYCHOLOGICAL world that animals can't.

SO we can't use the simple patterns in other organisms to define the patterns in ourselves.

I didn't read the entirety of this thread, but honestly, I think the biggest issues have been missed. This chick may have been bummed about his 50K+ income, which BTW is great, and myself in the LOW BRACKET, 50K sounds wonderful -- but maybe they had some much deeper problems. It wasn't the $. Maybe it was the sechs. Maybe it was the conversation. Maybe he was just boring. IDK. Maybe she grew tired of him, or grew apart. THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE HER CHEATING and UNFAIR EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION. Any good person will give you a HEADS UP when they're p!ssed. Not addressing concerns and just disconnecting is WEAK. I am guessing there were many issues beyond the $ with this guy, and she disconnected, cheated, and she was "emotionally protected" when she made the break -- the guy on the other hand was blindsided and heart-crushed.

Have some compassion for the dude. We've all been there. He knows now better attributes to seek in a partner. This chick if he is smart will be a valuable learning lesson and a pivoting point for a happier life. If he pedestals her, he's still phuked, but right now honestly other than his heart-break, he is LUCKY. No babies. No alimony. He is a free man, now with this 50K+ to find a chick who sees his value. Fvck that b.tch.

But I agree -- we can't EVER STOP PUSHING OURSELVES! NEVER! :rockon:

 

[backbreaker]

I love mother nature, so this is relevant. Yes the biggest bad-ass walrus might get the walrus-pvssy, but walruses also sh!t in front of each other, p!ss in front of each other, eat food raw -- we don't do everything animals do, to compare one set of their actions and impulses and say we humans are the same isn't a fair comparison. We have huge frontal lobes and the portion of the brain that controls some of our most primal animalistic things is, quite small, and we can see from the 16 pages on this thread alone, that humans are good at building a PSYCHOLOGICAL world that animals can't.

SO we can't use the simple patterns in other organisms to define the patterns in ourselves.

I didn't read the entirety of this thread, but honestly, I think the biggest issues have been missed. This chick may have been bummed about his 50K+ income, which BTW is great, and myself in the LOW BRACKET, 50K sounds wonderful -- but maybe they had some much deeper problems. It wasn't the $. Maybe it was the sechs. Maybe it was the conversation. Maybe he was just boring. IDK. Maybe she grew tired of him, or grew apart. THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE HER CHEATING and UNFAIR EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION. Any good person will give you a HEADS UP when they're p!ssed. Not addressing concerns and just disconnecting is WEAK. I am guessing there were many issues beyond the $ with this guy, and she disconnected, cheated, and she was "emotionally protected" when she made the break -- the guy on the other hand was blindsided and heart-crushed.

Have some compassion for the dude. We've all been there. He knows now better attributes to seek in a partner. This chick if he is smart will be a valuable learning lesson and a pivoting point for a happier life. If he pedestals her, he's still phuked, but right now honestly other than his heart-break, he is LUCKY. No babies. No alimony. He is a free man, now with this 50K+ to find a chick who sees his value. Fvck that b.tch.

But I agree -- we can't EVER STOP PUSHING OURSELVES! NEVER! :rockon:

50k lol? **** i would be shocked if he pulled home 30k. i really would. he lives with 2 room mates and can barley afford that.

I mean.. to me this is quite cut and dry. yes it's about more than just money, but my big thing is why do men go out of their way to make things not about money? like money can't be a factor or somethign into her decision making process.

I mean look at it. When they were dating, first started dating she worked as an exercise rider at the track riding horses. probably made about 400 a week, no one there is rich, everyone there is there beucase they are living out a dream somewhat to be around horses. it's not a gig you do to get rich. all her friends were just like her for the most part. at that time, when she was there, her BF was the perfect mold; hey let's get together let's hang out and do ****, let's go to the movies let's sit around and drink cheap beer and watch netflix rentals type ****. and there is nothing wrong witht hat per say do your thing.

but slowly everyone started to.. for lack of a better word, just, enter a different phase of life. once my wife got pregnant she hung it up. it was fun, but it was time to do something different. then all your friends start doing the same, moving on to other things, other phases in life. and it got to the point where it was time for her to do the same thing, time to for her to get a corporate job.

so she does this, and she has a new circle of friends. now her friends all have houses and cars and go on vacations and travel and go fishing in nice boats and just.. they do **** that she was not used to doing when all her friends were broke. Our only real bond, as in her and my wife was that that we all still love horses so we all had that but other than that, not really much else. so you are around these friends, and.. now sitting around watching netflix rentals every night and drinking beer is not all that cool to do every night. one of her new friends is pregnant, and she is the same age as her, it gets her thinking ****, i'm 26 hell i want a family. 4 years ago no one gave a **** about any of this type of ****.

and you try to hang out with the new people and.. it's just not a fit. what you value is starting to change.. you want something different out of life than you wanted 4 years ago. rather that's right or wrong, that's up for debate and i'm not there to answer that, but it is what it is. I mean there is nothing wrong with working at a resturant I'm not so much ****ting his job as much as I am ****ting his ambition he has none. He doesn't get the Animal Farm inside joke reference beucase he never bothered to read the book (lol she didn't either but that's beside the point). You can't go out to a real upscale restaurant with your new friends on a friday night beucase not only can he not afford to he doesn't have any clothes to wear even if he could afford it.


her interests in life have changed and her ex has not changed with them. And that's fine, i don't understand what the fuss is about people grow apart. He can go find a woman who isn't as materialistic or whatever and she can find someone who is and they can be both happy i don';t understand the need to paint someone as a victium and someone as a villain. their values aren't the same anymore. neither is better or worse than the other.


I've met the guy and honestly.. i kinda like him lol. he's a cool dude. I can see why she is attracted to him (and it's real attraction make no mistake sit's all there). good not great looking but you can tell he takes care of himself, very sharp dude, very sure of himself. He's the type of dude we can sit down and I know we could have a 1 hour debate over different classic books yet at the same time not be so much of a douche that he doesn't know about the Dwight Howard NBA saga. He's a business man's man if that makes sense. he fits what she wants and what she wants to do. he just got out of a relationship himself and so both are kinda feeding off each other.

I mean she still has feelings for the EX, and i am sure always is, but i don't understand this obligation to stick with him to death do them part beucase they fvcked for 4 years. that to me is what i am hung up on. she doesn't owe him shiit. if she gained 100 pounds everyone would be telling him to kick her ass to the curb .

I was going to save this for another day but fvck it lol. I told the girl look, you can't bring him around for a month, at least give the guy some time to recover. and she was cool with that, but then last Saturday we had a little get together and he brings a "date" knowing good and damn well his ex would be there. and honestly she really could care less lol, she wasn't phased at all which is how i know lol she's been made this decision in her head. and he's all over her, so then her new BF calls and she asks can he come over and i'm like well ****, i guess if he is going to do that i can't just not let you do have your date over.. i tried to be fair. so he comes over and the ex BF just loses it lol. i mean goes all backstreet boys beta hwo can you do this **** to me, to the point i wanted to cry laughing. I knew exactly what was going to happen as soon as he showed up with the new girl but i couldn't stop the train wreck from happening.

Honestly, i put some thought into what i have against this guy when i was in the hospital.. and i do have something against him. i never liked him honestly i just tolerated him beucase he's my wife's best friend BF. and i couldn't pin point it until I had some time to think. it's not that he is broke. I have broke friends. I have quite a few broke friends lol. it's not even the fact that he doesn't have ambition. again, i have quite a few associates who never will do anything significant in life. doesn't mean we can't have other things that interest us. what gets me about this dude is that, he thinks the world owes him everything and he doesn't bring **** tot he table in return. he wants to get back at his ex by showing him eh has moved on yet can't get the fact that she HAS moved on lol and then throws a temper tantrum when she is not paying him any attention. and some here will say well see, see, that's why she stopped liking him, but what i am saying is, it's all one in the same. the lack of ambition is the same thing as his beta behavior now. i don't' see how people can't see that.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

50k lol? **** i would be shocked if he pulled home 30k. i really would. he lives with 2 room mates and can barley afford that.

I mean.. to me this is quite cut and dry. yes it's about more than just money, but my big thing is why do men go out of their way to make things not about money? like money can't be a factor or somethign into her decision making process.

I mean look at it. When they were dating, first started dating she worked as an exercise rider at the track riding horses. probably made about 400 a week, no one there is rich, everyone there is there beucase they are living out a dream somewhat to be around horses. it's not a gig you do to get rich. all her friends were just like her for the most part. at that time, when she was there, her BF was the perfect mold; hey let's get together let's hang out and do ****, let's go to the movies let's sit around and drink cheap beer and watch netflix rentals type ****. and there is nothing wrong witht hat per say do your thing.

but slowly everyone started to.. for lack of a better word, just, enter a different phase of life. once my wife got pregnant she hung it up. it was fun, but it was time to do something different. then all your friends start doing the same, moving on to other things, other phases in life. and it got to the point where it was time for her to do the same thing, time to for her to get a corporate job.

so she does this, and she has a new circle of friends. now her friends all have houses and cars and go on vacations and travel and go fishing in nice boats and just.. they do **** that she was not used to doing when all her friends were broke. Our only real bond, as in her and my wife was that that we all still love horses so we all had that but other than that, not really much else. so you are around these friends, and.. now sitting around watching netflix rentals every night and drinking beer is not all that cool to do every night. one of her new friends is pregnant, and she is the same age as her, it gets her thinking ****, i'm 26 hell i want a family. 4 years ago no one gave a **** about any of this type of ****.

and you try to hang out with the new people and.. it's just not a fit. what you value is starting to change.. you want something different out of life than you wanted 4 years ago. rather that's right or wrong, that's up for debate and i'm not there to answer that, but it is what it is. I mean there is nothing wrong with working at a resturant I'm not so much ****ting his job as much as I am ****ting his ambition he has none. He doesn't get the Animal Farm inside joke reference beucase he never bothered to read the book (lol she didn't either but that's beside the point). You can't go out to a real upscale restaurant with your new friends on a friday night beucase not only can he not afford to he doesn't have any clothes to wear even if he could afford it.


her interests in life have changed and her ex has not changed with them. And that's fine, i don't understand what the fuss is about people grow apart. He can go find a woman who isn't as materialistic or whatever and she can find someone who is and they can be both happy i don';t understand the need to paint someone as a victium and someone as a villain. their values aren't the same anymore. neither is better or worse than the other.


I've met the guy and honestly.. i kinda like him lol. he's a cool dude. I can see why she is attracted to him (and it's real attraction make no mistake sit's all there). he fits what she wants and what she wants to do. he just got out of a relationship himself and so both are kinda feeding off each other.

I mean she still has feelings for the EX, and i am sure always is, but i don't understand this obligation to stick with him to death do them part beucase they fvcked for 4 years. that to me is what i am hung up on. she doesn't owe him shiit. if she gained 100 pounds everyone would be telling him to kick her ass to the curb .

I can understand that -- she moved herself forwards, her tastes and her future changed -- he was in the same place and never chose to grow.

Sometimes I feel like that with this red-head at work -- sometimes these women grow intellectually, or want more, and the dudes they were with may have been great at age 22, but they can't provide what they want into mature womanhood.

I'm a broke-ass dude trying to create a business and follow my passions. In terms of $, I recognize this is a major hinderance with women--to not pretend it matters is naive. You think that hot red-head at work wants to come camp out in my tent?? Maybe for a night..but it is entirely un-realistic to expect any woman to want to share that lifestyle. This is why right now I'm trying to keep my head down and get things done so years from now I'll have greater options...

No woman wants to feel trapped at a dead-end. There's a difference between having the same goals and same interests and maybe money is not always abundant in the home. But this is a different case from what it sounds, this woman wasn't disillusioned from champagne and caviar visions, but rather she hit a wall in her relationship and this guy couldn't provide what she ultimately wanted. Was cheating the best way? Probably not. But I get what you're saying.

As men what's our solutions?

-- To push our own boundaries.
-- To never settle within our own selves.
-- To understand part of our role in the masculine is the shelter + security role -- if we can't provide either, there are some real problems there...
-- To understand financial well-being is a real factor in the well-being of a closely tied relationship (like LTRs or marriage) -- it inevitably is a major factor, how couldn't it be?


//EDIT --

Also, there's no doubt $$ is a huge issue. Those of you who are pressured for $ like myself, don't pretend that it doesn't effect your stress level and worry. It totally does and it saps you dry some days. To have that sort of hinderance mentally is undesirable. It prevents me from having the necessary energy to give good things to the person I'm with. There is no doubt a lack of Fundage$ will create stresses WITHIN a person, and inevitably that creates stresses OUTSIDE of that person...they have done many studies...marriages with $30-70K gross earnings have lower divorce rates...maybe there is commitment via survival (aka these women don't want to walk away and lose their lifestyle so they tough it out), but I also think that basically having more $ causes less stress, which makes it easier to be a happier, care-free individual, which clearly makes us the BEST VERSION OF OURSELVES that we could be. Myself, when struggling with $ I am certainly not "stress-free" or "care-free", and for a woman to be around that I am not even ready for. This is just me being honest with myself. Maybe this guy wasn't being honest. Or it took this woman until recently for herself to be really honest about what she wanted. There's nothing wrong with that--it's real.

 

[hithard]

Have western men created modern western woman?
In our pursuit of easier sex have we created all this whordom to get what we want.
Lets face it men pushed the envelope on various media to portray what women should be like, so that we could benefit in the short term. The end result is a trashy superficial easy lay. Problem is we have had a generation of single mums bringing up young men and filling their heads full of their $hit. Our whole culture seems to hinge on sex and status at the moment.

As for

misandric State system meant to promote hypergamy at the expense of men's rights.

Islam anyone

 

[backbreaker]

I can understand that -- she moved herself forwards, her tastes and her future changed -- he was in the same place and never chose to grow.

Sometimes I feel like that with this red-head at work -- sometimes these women grow intellectually, or want more, and the dudes they were with may have been great at age 22, but they can't provide what they want into mature womanhood.

I'm a broke-ass dude trying to create a business and follow my passions. In terms of $, I recognize this is a major hinderance with women--to not pretend it matters is naive. You think that hot red-head at work wants to come camp out in my tent?? Maybe for a night..but it is entirely un-realistic to expect any woman to want to share that lifestyle. This is why right now I'm trying to keep my head down and get things done so years from now I'll have greater options...

No woman wants to feel trapped at a dead-end. There's a difference between having the same goals and same interests and maybe money is not always abundant in the home. But this is a different case from what it sounds, this woman wasn't disillusioned from champagne and caviar visions, but rather she hit a wall in her relationship and this guy couldn't provide what she ultimately wanted. Was cheating the best way? Probably not. But I get what you're saying.

As men what's our solutions?

-- To push our own boundaries.
-- To never settle within our own selves.
-- To understand part of our role in the masculine is the shelter + security role -- if we can't provide either, there are some real problems there...
-- To understand financial well-being is a real factor in the well-being of a closely tied relationship (like LTRs or marriage) -- it inevitably is a major factor, how couldn't it be?

that is the point more than anything I"m trying to get across. lol it's not like this dude is a corporate exec or anything and he's making half a million a year. dude is I forgot how old, looks mid 20's, has a nice car has his own place and from what i understand it's a pretty decent spot he has his own loft. he's not rolling in tom ford suits or anything lol I mean, he is a normal probably above avg intelligence avg looking white male who works hard enough to where he will probably get somewhere in the company that they work in some day but he isn't close to there now. if i had to guess he's making like 75k a year.

lol she just wants to be a normal fvcking 26 year old woman and do normal 26 year old woman things, go out of town every once in a while, maybe go to a casino every once in a while, play dress up and go out every once in a while, have sex and not have to keep it down beucase there are other room mates, wear sexy undergarments around the house and not have to walk out the room fully dressed because there are 2 other dudes in the house. lol **** my son even ask me one day "daddy why we never go over aunt becky house (her name is becky)" she ain't go not house that's why little man. me and the misses want to go do something together and need to find a quick babysitter welp can't call her can't keep a kid over her BF's place. I really do not think she is a gold digger. I know gold diggers lol. I don't peg her as one. she just.. her BF just expected to skate by on "love" for his entire life. he never moved forward.

 

[Findog]

I didn't read the entirety of this thread, but honestly, I think the biggest issues have been missed. This chick may have been bummed about his 50K+ income, which BTW is great, and myself in the LOW BRACKET, 50K sounds wonderful -- but maybe they had some much deeper problems. It wasn't the $. Maybe it was the sechs. Maybe it was the conversation. Maybe he was just boring. IDK. Maybe she grew tired of him, or grew apart. THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE HER CHEATING and UNFAIR EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION. Any good person will give you a HEADS UP when they're p!ssed. Not addressing concerns and just disconnecting is WEAK. I am guessing there were many issues beyond the $ with this guy, and she disconnected, cheated, and she was "emotionally protected" when she made the break -- the guy on the other hand was blindsided and heart-crushed.

Have some compassion for the dude. We've all been there. He knows now better attributes to seek in a partner. This chick if he is smart will be a valuable learning lesson and a pivoting point for a happier life. If he pedestals her, he's still phuked, but right now honestly other than his heart-break, he is LUCKY. No babies. No alimony. He is a free man, now with this 50K+ to find a chick who sees his value. Fvck that b.tch.

But I agree -- we can't EVER STOP PUSHING OURSELVES! NEVER! :rockon:

You pretty much nailed it Buddha Mind. It's fine if she was bored with the guy. It's fine if she felt like the guy couldn't support a lifestyle she wanted to have. It's fine if she realized that after four years together she couldn't really see them going the distance for another 40. It's fine if she came to the conclusion that there were probably other men out there that could do a better job of giving her what she wants, or that it was worth the risk of finding out. I have no problem with any of that. But you can't come here and backwards rationalize her behavior and defend and admire her choices and put the entire onus of the failure of this relationship and the cheating on the guy. He undoubtedly played a part and a role in this, but what I've read says very little about him and a lot more about her. And f the new guy with the BMW and condo let her move in to his place after such a short time, he's the chump, not the restaurant manager. She's already shown that she's a cheating wh*re, so I don't know what he would want with her beyond a casual plate.

If all women were this cold and calculating, relationships as we know it would not be worth undertaking. Whether you're busting your @ss or coasting, have a purpose and direction in your life or you're aimless, sooner or later you're gonna fall victim to the hypergamy guillotine because there is always a "bigger, better deal" out there somewhere...and I just don't see that happening on a wide scale when I observe my friends and family outside this website. Hypergamy definitely exists and I've seen it happen, but I think the incidence of it is overstated. Hell, nearly half the time, It's been the men that I've seen blow up and pull the plug on otherwise good relationships. I've seen female AFCs. These roles aren't always strictly limited to men or to women.

I've been looking around - the best figures I can find state that around 20 percent of men will cheat on their wives/girlfriends at some point, whereas around 15 percent of women will at some point cheat on their husbands/boyfriends. When you look at paternity, the most conservative figures show that between 8 to 15 percent of children haven't been fathered by the man who thinks he's their biological parent. I mean, 85 percent of women have more integrity than the chick in the OP, so why are we defending her conduct or calling it "not a problem," just the way it is according to the ancient law of the jungle or what you might see on Discovery or Animal Planet? Her lack of appreciation and dwindling investment in her relationship I have no problem with, that happens all the time, but it's idiotic to really hold her up as some kind of norm

Sometimes it's our attitude and perspective on relationships that need to change. I know in my past I've been guilty of pie in the sky, Disney-esque, love will conquer all naive notions about relationships and women. Sometimes it's our actions that need to change - we do a good job of wooing a woman and getting into a relationship and getting a commitment to be exclusive, and then we let our feet off the gas pedal and our relationship gradually crumbles from neglect, boredom and staleness. And sometimes it's our picker that needs to change - you can't make a prime rib steak out of hot dog meat, so why would you try to do anything other than a ONS or casual fling with a stripper, a single mom, somebody with substance abuse issues, somebody with an extremely high partner count, a recent divorcee, etc?

 

[disgustipated]

Damn so u let all that **** go down at your house and you're laughing at the guy?? Regardless of your rationalism, the guy just got his heart broke. Nice. Remember Bb, that was a version of you in the past and now you facilitate this drama. Stand up and he counted for the wtf you used to be, not saying you gotta white knight for this dude but how about not letting any situations like that develop.by putting your foot down? If this guy gets wise to you entertaining yourself off his problems, I hope he chin checks you. Losing my respect bro.

 

[MikeOck]

I agree with the original premise of this thread, "If you aren't moving forward, you are moving backward".

However, the relationship given as an example was doomed from the start. Of course any woman is going to want to maintain an equality or superiority with those in her social circle. I can't believe she hung on that long, at some point she must have really loved the guy. His problem was that he got himself involved with a woman whose social circle far exceeded his own means. There are plenty of women with social circles that take simple week-long trips to the closest beach or lake each summer and are perfectly satisfied. In fact, some of the happiest relationships that I know of are rather low income, they aren't traveling around the world every few months but then again, neither is their social circle. Remember, women are social climbers and they just don't want to be the worst off of their friends.

Now, she had every right to leave, it doesn't make her a wonderful person in my opinion, but it is her life and if she sleeps well at night then more power to her. What I am really curious about is the outcome of the new branch she swung to. My guess is that the new guy is a player and is just in it for a fling. Sooner or later the next flavor will catch his favor and this woman will be out on the curb, wishing she had the love of Mr. Restaurant Manager back. Hopefully by then he won't want to have anything to do with her.

 

[backbreaker]

I agree with the original premise of this thread, "If you aren't moving forward, you are moving backward".

However, the relationship given as an example was doomed from the start. Of course any woman is going to want to maintain an equality or superiority with those in her social circle. I can't believe she hung on that long, at some point she must have really loved the guy. His problem was that he got himself involved with a woman whose social circle far exceeded his own means. There are plenty of women with social circles that take simple week-long trips to the closest beach or lake each summer and are perfectly satisfied. In fact, some of the happiest relationships that I know of are rather low income, they aren't traveling around the world every few months but then again, neither is their social circle. Remember, women are social climbers and they just don't want to be the worst off of their friends.

Now, she had every right to leave, it doesn't make her a wonderful person in my opinion, but it is her life and if she sleeps well at night then more power to her. What I am really curious about is the outcome of the new branch she swung to. My guess is that the new guy is a player and is just in it for a fling. Sooner or later the next flavor will catch his favor and this woman will be out on the curb, wishing she had the love of Mr. Restaurant Manager back. Hopefully by then he won't want to have anything to do with her.

good insight.

I don't get that vibe. I think she really is into him. I also think she has been looking for a new branch for a while, i don't think she is all that interested in the ex anymore. but yeah she did really care about him. she's already moved in with the new guy though.

lit wasn't looking good from the start but i would not say it was doomed. 4 years ago had he showed some ambition he probaly would still have his girl now. and i mean 4 years he hasn't even considered proposingf to the girl and she's not geting any younger and it's like they just idled out if that makes sense. they started dating like 1 month before we did and her best friend is married and has a 4 year old son and and she lives in a house now and you look at them and they are in the exact same spot they were 4 years ago.

Damn so u let all that **** go down at your house and you're laughing at the guy?? Regardless of your rationalism, the guy just got his heart broke. Nice. Remember Bb, that was a version of you in the past and now you facilitate this drama. Stand up and he counted for the wtf you used to be, not saying you gotta white knight for this dude but how about not letting any situations like that develop.by putting your foot down? If this guy gets wise to you entertaining yourself off his problems, I hope he chin checks you. Losing my respect bro.

lol you are missing one extremely important fact: I'm married to the girl's best friend. in the strategic war that is marriage, this is one that not worth fighting lol. I'm not going to have my sex life with my wife screwed up by taking some stand for this dude when **** i even tried to make both of them take their relatinoship **** off the premises and he botched that by bringing a date. i'm not going to sit there and listent o my wife ***** to me about how that's not fair and how her friend is pissed off. at the end of hte day, i'm going to do what's in the best interest of keeping my wife happy in this regard beucase this is like, in the grand scheme of things like 67th on my give a **** list about.

but i don't side with either of them. go back to my very first post here, i clearly stated that this is why you don't' date people in your social circle.
i never should be in this position anyway and i'm damned if i do and i'm damned if i don't. then you split the friends into 2 camps and now you can't come around nd have a good time beucase your ex has her tongue down some dude's throat. that was my entire purpose of posting this int he first place to tell the dude i was talking to in the OP that social circle relationship aren't worth it.

and **** the dude brought a date the girl is from his job. so what happens when he breaks up with her? grow some balls and approach people not in your circle. we are watching the olympics later today there will be about 15 of us here in all, and we are going to have a blast and he is going to be at home wollowing in his own sorrow beucase he doesn't want to come around.

 

[disgustipated]

Good for him. That's where he belongs, far far away from that circle. Karma boomerang is a comin.

 

[backbreaker]

BB,

While I know that you are avoiding responding to my last post, I just want to drive the point home succinctly to you and the others who consider MRA types to be whiners.

Slavery in the US, was a construct of Man. Laws were put in place to keep men and women as the property of other people. There was a lot of anger on both sides, and perhaps even one side was called "whiners", or someone cited the "winners and losers". Some even took huge risks and helped slaves escape via the Underground Railroad. But in the end, the right thing was done and everyone is free.

70 years ago, Jewish people through-out Germany (and Europe) were being gathered and exterminated. The German based anti-semite laws were a construct of man. Many were smart enough to flee before things got bad, but many lives were lost or ruined. Sure it would be helpful to teach people to "not look Jewish", but some people took the very dangerous risk of hiding and helping the Jewish. I don't suppose they were called "whiners" or "losers", but they certainly had reason to complain.

Today, we have State mandated misandry.

• Men are losing their entire lives on the words of vindictive women. Men lose their children on the mere accusation of molestation (http://www.innocentdads.org/).
• Men are presumed guilty without a crime even having been commited (http://www.upi.com/Top_News/US/2012/06/05/Man-shooed-from-bookstores-kids-section/UPI-27091338933954/).
• Some men speak out against Feminism or the State sanctioned portions of it, only to lose their jobs, friends or endure endless shaming. But the men are trying to fix a problem. State mandated misandry.

Those of you would would shame such men, call them whiners or losers. Would you have also called 1940 Jewish victims "whiners" and "losers"?

Would you have called slaves or those who helped free them "whiners" and "losers"?

So, why the need to call men today, who are fighting a similar fight, such names? Most of the MRA's are NOT against hypergamy as much as they are against the State mandated hypergamy and misandry present in today's society.

If you aren't going to help, then get the fvk out of the way. But to shame and attack such men is as morally bankrupt as the women and state who use such tactics to keep the boot-heel on the neck of men who are innocent of anything other than be on the wrong side of a woman's hypergamic desire.

i'm not avoiding you I just am not interested in discussing the political aspets of hypergamy. that's not why I come here and partly why I developed such a pissy attitude in the first place.

 

[cordoncordon]

Originally Posted by iqqi



That's funny that one moment you are bringing up my tragic childhood of poverty and drugs, and then the next you feel sad for my soul that I said my mother could have done much better. My stepfather was an abusive, jobless drug dealer with many other faults, and my mother supported us both for way too long. She was a very pretty, generous, and huge hearted person who was admired by many. So yes, my mother and any woman could and should do better than that.

Your frothing comments towards me are super angry and bitter, maybe you should address that. You don't see me constantly bringing up your own past of cheating on your ex, and lying about your age on this forum for years, not to mention other less than stellar examples of your morality. Let's not keep getting so personal when it has nothing to do with the topic at hand.

ICKY these are my last words to you and then you absolutely will never get a response from me again. You seem to think I have some issue with you. I don't. In fact I have the opposite of that because to be honest you never enter my thought process, even in a microscopic fleeting instance, other than when I have to read your drivel on this forum. So, I say this to you and I mean this in all sincerity.

Take your egotistical/Miss know it all/ghetto/wigger poor excuse for a person and go ***k yourself.

 

[Married Buried]

Take your egotistical/Miss know it all/ghetto/wigger poor excuse for a person and go ***k yourself.

I bet she is reaching for the dildo as I type this.

 

[typical]

I love mother nature, so this is relevant. Yes the biggest bad-ass walrus might get the walrus-pvssy, but walruses also sh!t in front of each other, p!ss in front of each other, eat food raw -- we don't do everything animals do, to compare one set of their actions and impulses and say we humans are the same isn't a fair comparison. We have huge frontal lobes and the portion of the brain that controls some of our most primal animalistic things is, quite small, and we can see from the 16 pages on this thread alone, that humans are good at building a PSYCHOLOGICAL world that animals can't.

SO we can't use the simple patterns in other organisms to define the patterns in ourselves.

I didn't read the entirety of this thread, but honestly, I think the biggest issues have been missed. This chick may have been bummed about his 50K+ income, which BTW is great, and myself in the LOW BRACKET, 50K sounds wonderful -- but maybe they had some much deeper problems. It wasn't the $. Maybe it was the sechs. Maybe it was the conversation. Maybe he was just boring. IDK. Maybe she grew tired of him, or grew apart. THIS DOES NOT EXCUSE HER CHEATING and UNFAIR EMOTIONAL DISCONNECTION. Any good person will give you a HEADS UP when they're p!ssed. Not addressing concerns and just disconnecting is WEAK. I am guessing there were many issues beyond the $ with this guy, and she disconnected, cheated, and she was "emotionally protected" when she made the break -- the guy on the other hand was blindsided and heart-crushed.

Have some compassion for the dude. We've all been there. He knows now better attributes to seek in a partner. This chick if he is smart will be a valuable learning lesson and a pivoting point for a happier life. If he pedestals her, he's still phuked, but right now honestly other than his heart-break, he is LUCKY. No babies. No alimony. He is a free man, now with this 50K+ to find a chick who sees his value. Fvck that b.tch.

But I agree -- we can't EVER STOP PUSHING OURSELVES! NEVER! :rockon:

That may be how we would like to believe that we humans are like BUT the reality is given half a chance a man would slit another mans throat in the right and sometimes wrong circumstances. This statement is very vague but you can't deny the power or control our hind brain has in dictating how we interact with the world in everyday situations.

Like it or not most of the time people let their hind brain make the choice and then rationalize it with their front.

Slavery/ anti-semitism/ Feminism are all problems that have occurred because there aren't/weren't enough men to stand up and fight for what is right and wrong.

Hypergamy on the other hand has always been there its just in todays highly feminized world its much easier for a woman to follow her hypergamic imperative then it was 30+ years ago. Trust me you may think that your bird doesn't think about the fact that she could have gotten or can get a better man but she does, she just doesn't tell you or is afraid that if she fu(ks up her branch swing she will lose both men .......... insert comments about orbiters and friends that she keeps around just incase and also insert comments about doing the right thing and sticking with her man through thick and thin. Think about it its never about YOU ............ its always about HER and how secure her lifestyle is and how much YOU can provide to HER so she can pop out babies.

That's the way it goes in nature the Male leads/provides (higher order mammals apart from a certain few) and the females breed and nurture and choose the the best male that they can or the one that wins the territory, and they don't nuture the males they nurture their offspring and each other, adolescent males are chased off early.

Nothing has changed for humans just because we have a more developed frontal lobe and a higher understanding of the world around us does not change how nature has programmed us from the start.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

That may be how we would like to believe that we humans are like BUT the reality is given half a chance a man would slit another mans throat in the right and sometimes wrong circumstances. This statement is very vague but you can't deny the power or control our hind brain has in dictating how we interact with the world in everyday situations.

Like it or not most of the time people let their hind brain make the choice and then rationalize it with their front.

Slavery/ anti-semitism/ Feminism are all problems that have occurred because there aren't/weren't enough men to stand up and fight for what is right and wrong.

Hypergamy on the other hand has always been there its just in todays highly feminized world its much easier for a woman to follow her hypergamic imperative then it was 30+ years ago. Trust me you may think that your bird doesn't think about the fact that she could have gotten or can get a better man but she does, she just doesn't tell you or is afraid that if she fu(ks up her branch swing she will lose both men .......... insert comments about orbiters and friends that she keeps around just incase and also insert comments about doing the right thing and sticking with her man through thick and thin. Think about it its never about YOU ............ its always about HER and how secure her lifestyle is and how much YOU can provide to HER so she can pop out babies.

That's the way it goes in nature the Male leads/provides (higher order mammals apart from a certain few) and the females breed and nurture and choose the the best male that they can or the one that wins the territory, and they don't nuture the males they nurture their offspring and each other, adolescent males are chased off early.

Nothing has changed for humans just because we have a more developed frontal lobe and a higher understanding of the world around us does not change how nature has programmed us from the start.

Your views about higher order mammals are correct. They do provide for the females (mostly just defend them...a lot of the females still do the hunting). The females do nurture their young. Some females push ALL young away very early, other species have longer relationships until they go solo.

But to say we are the same is just not true. I agree with what you are saying, but also lions KILL any off-spring that is not their own. That means if you started dating a chick with a kid, your urge is to suffocate the child or kill it? Not every man thinks this way even inherently biologically. In fact, I know MANY MEN who meet a chick with a kid and actually become a POSITIVE role-model for the kid, or take the kid under their own wing. That's not a Lion or Elephant Seal's perspective.

But the spectrum of intelligence is wide. There are very very dumb men, and there are very very dumb women. Some of these may be purely guided by their hind-brain. I'm just saying I don't think MOST MEN are this way, nor do I think MOST WOMEN, at least INTELLIGENT people.

A lot has changed for us. We are like no other animal on this planet. We can't be so easily 1:1 compared. We've created space ships. We've created this computer box that can send you a message and you can read it (or go fulfill your hind-brain by looking at porn). To see ourselves as the exact same as the rest of the animal world and unable to break away is false. We already have in many ways. If we can't see past our own destructive animalistic habits we FOR CERTAIN won't make any progress.

I do agree biology sets the foundation. But culture, environment, this heavily shapes how we choose sexual mates. Even in nature basic physiological things are not always the end-game in terms of sexual-selection. There are many behavioral patterns that dictate. In America, there are countless cultural aspects that relate to breeding and sexual interest, etc, etc. I will never buy the argument that we are 'stuck' just as the animals. We've turned sand into computer chips, we've pushed into almost every environment that to us is hostile, including space. This push for more won't ever stop, assuming we don't nuke ourselves or destroy the biosphere entirely.

EDIT - It should also be noted NOT every animal is hypergamous!! Eagles and many birds for example, highly developed smart hunters, are MONOGAMOUS until DEATH! Some humans are hypergamous, some are monogamous! We have many different strategies for survival, and this diversity is likely why we've made it 350,000 years!

 

[Atom Smasher]

ICKY these are my last words to you and then you absolutely will never get a response from me again. You seem to think I have some issue with you. I don't. In fact I have the opposite of that because to be honest you never enter my thought process, even in a microscopic fleeting instance, other than when I have to read your drivel on this forum. So, I say this to you and I mean this in all sincerity.

Take your egotistical/Miss know it all/ghetto/wigger poor excuse for a person and go ***k yourself.

CC, I expect you to now post in the "The No Contact Challenge" thread.

 

[cordoncordon]

CC, I expect you to now post in the "The No Contact Challenge" thread.

Haha nice!

 

[typical]

Your views about higher order mammals are correct. They do provide for the females (mostly just defend them...a lot of the females still do the hunting). The females do nurture their young. Some females push ALL young away very early, other species have longer relationships until they go solo.

But to say we are the same is just not true. I agree with what you are saying, but also lions KILL any off-spring that is not their own. That means if you started dating a chick with a kid, your urge is to suffocate the child or kill it? Not every man thinks this way even inherently biologically. In fact, I know MANY MEN who meet a chick with a kid and actually become a POSITIVE role-model for the kid, or take the kid under their own wing. That's not a Lion or Elephant Seal's perspective.

But the spectrum of intelligence is wide. There are very very dumb men, and there are very very dumb women. Some of these may be purely guided by their hind-brain. I'm just saying I don't think MOST MEN are this way, nor do I think MOST WOMEN, at least INTELLIGENT people.

A lot has changed for us. We are like no other animal on this planet. We can't be so easily 1:1 compared. We've created space ships. We've created this computer box that can send you a message and you can read it (or go fulfill your hind-brain by looking at porn). To see ourselves as the exact same as the rest of the animal world and unable to break away is false. We already have in many ways. If we can't see past our own destructive animalistic habits we FOR CERTAIN won't make any progress.

I do agree biology sets the foundation. But culture, environment, this heavily shapes how we choose sexual mates. Even in nature basic physiological things are not always the end-game in terms of sexual-selection. There are many behavioral patterns that dictate. In America, there are countless cultural aspects that relate to breeding and sexual interest, etc, etc. I will never buy the argument that we are 'stuck' just as the animals. We've turned sand into computer chips, we've pushed into almost every environment that to us is hostile, including space. This push for more won't ever stop, assuming we don't nuke ourselves or destroy the biosphere entirely.

EDIT - It should also be noted NOT every animal is hypergamous!! Eagles and many birds for example, highly developed smart hunters, are MONOGAMOUS until DEATH! Some humans are hypergamous, some are monogamous! We have many different strategies for survival, and this diversity is likely why we've made it 350,000 years!

I completely understand and agree with everything you're saying BUT the vast majority of humans do not think about any of these things at all they are only concerned with how any external stimulus affects them and nothing more. That is what we are dealing with on a daily basis, people that are only in it for themselves, if you are a caring person you're going to get chewed up and spat out so you have to treat everyone the same and always test their loyalty and screen their behaviour, any negative attributes and you have to start looking elsewhere.

I understand that not all people are the same but you can't go around wearing your heart on your sleeve and expect people to be good to you. In my late teens and early tweens I was hanging around some bad people there you get to see all sides of the people you interact with, and when push comes to shove majority of them bail out ASAP given a tiny chance of making it better. Some of these people are the nicest most loving caring individuals you would ever meet.

Like pook and AD said you throw the people into your "machine" and only the good ones will make it through, meanwhile you make sure you look after yourself and the people that are close to you, and always always have a backup plan incase sh!t hits the fan.