"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

I was a natural as a child. How did transformation happen?

C

cloneofstenyhoyer

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and I'm sure many on this forum were as well. I remember tonguing girls down in 1st grade at my birthday party. I was a pimp on top of the world. I use to tease girls and get them to be my girlfriends - easy as pie. Then - social conditioning happened. But how did this this happen. What conditioned me to be anti-social? to be scared of women? to second guess myself? to give too much significance to my interactions with women?

was it the media? school?

I don't know. Maybe someone on here does.

I do have some success with women (I've slept with over 10) - I've had 3 relationships lasting over two years - but I still run into anxiety around women. I still often times 'not knowing what to do' or find myself being needy or even arrogant (since I know I've had success in the past). I alternate sometimes between a 'what will she think of me' ego state and a 'I've had success in the past with women' ego. both are traps. especially the latter because it is harder to see as a problem. I get this 'cooler than everyone else, too cool to talk to anyone' type ego thing going on - and this is harder to break than afc habits.

how do I balance and become how I was as a 5 year old boy?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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C

cky

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Think about this: How much did you care of how you came off to people when you were 5? You wore anything, said anything without being ashamed of yourself.
If you did the same now, I'd just say you have balls and confidence. I guess you're thinking about what you're doing and how you're coming off to other people too much. Work on your inner game, improve your self-confidence and just be happy with yourself. You can't be loved before you start loving yourself and the more you do, the more other people will, too. :)
 
G

goodfoot

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Obviously you need to go back to gaming 5 year olds. ;)
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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