"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I was a natural as a child. How did transformation happen?

C

cloneofstenyhoyer

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and I'm sure many on this forum were as well. I remember tonguing girls down in 1st grade at my birthday party. I was a pimp on top of the world. I use to tease girls and get them to be my girlfriends - easy as pie. Then - social conditioning happened. But how did this this happen. What conditioned me to be anti-social? to be scared of women? to second guess myself? to give too much significance to my interactions with women?

was it the media? school?

I don't know. Maybe someone on here does.

I do have some success with women (I've slept with over 10) - I've had 3 relationships lasting over two years - but I still run into anxiety around women. I still often times 'not knowing what to do' or find myself being needy or even arrogant (since I know I've had success in the past). I alternate sometimes between a 'what will she think of me' ego state and a 'I've had success in the past with women' ego. both are traps. especially the latter because it is harder to see as a problem. I get this 'cooler than everyone else, too cool to talk to anyone' type ego thing going on - and this is harder to break than afc habits.

how do I balance and become how I was as a 5 year old boy?
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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C

cky

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Think about this: How much did you care of how you came off to people when you were 5? You wore anything, said anything without being ashamed of yourself.
If you did the same now, I'd just say you have balls and confidence. I guess you're thinking about what you're doing and how you're coming off to other people too much. Work on your inner game, improve your self-confidence and just be happy with yourself. You can't be loved before you start loving yourself and the more you do, the more other people will, too. :)
 
G

goodfoot

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Obviously you need to go back to gaming 5 year olds. ;)
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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