"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

I think I mess up, fart

J

jlee

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So I was making out hot and heavy with this girl. She was on top of me, getting ready to take her shirt off. I let loose a rip, and she heard it. She said " you did not just do that." I just smiled, try to pull her close to me and continue kissing. But she said its too hot, got off me. She went into the bathroom clean up. Went back out into living room and grab her stuff and said she had to go. I was like wow... I really mess up this time...

I'm not sure what to do now...
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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W

WaterTiger

Master Don Juan
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:nono: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :nono:

Oh DAAAAMN that was funny!
 
J

J-Bone

Don Juan
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haha wow man! i'd have to say the hell with her and good ridance. she is too uptight and prissy. i've dated a bunch of girls who just laugh that or i'd have them so turned on they would ignore it because they wouldn't dare do anything that might possibly make me stop
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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W

WaterTiger

Master Don Juan
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I don't know if you can recover from this. Some people take flatulence as a HUGE social no-no. It's a natural body function like burping. I'd have laughed it off and teased you about it. Sounds like this girl has NO sense of humor, you probably didn't want her anyway.

Life ain't perfect...farts happen!
 
J

jlee

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I'm lactose intolerant and that morning I was eating cereal. I know I shouldn't be eating cereal and drinking milk but I did anyways. I sent her an sms explaining why I let out gas and that I was embarrass about it.

Man talk about messing up...
 
S

SaucyBoy

Don Juan
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You messed up but so did she. She is ready to fvck you but she can't stand to hear a fart? It's different if she was down there and it went right into her face.

Now you know that you should stick to food you can handle man.
 
S

superchristx

Senior Don Juan
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That's ridiculous, I don't care how hot she is everybody farts. How long are you supposed to hold in your farts? What if you married her? That would be forty years of squeezing your ******* closed.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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I

I.A.F.Y.B.

Master Don Juan
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Oh well, theres always more fishes to sleep with. Just let that be a lesson to you for next time :crackup: I'm susprised she got so offended hasn't she ever farted or queefed before?
 
J

jlee

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No it wasn't a wet one. It was a small fart, didn't even smell. That's all.
 
T

Teflon_Mcgee

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I don't know, if some girl did that to me I'd be pretty turned off.

There's a time and a place, and that's not it. She overreacted, but you definatley killed the mood.

When the moods gone, the moods gone.
 
B

Bvbidd

Master Don Juan
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Take a look at it from her point of view.

It would be a lot harder for her to respect herself if she went any further with you. Girls really don't like being thought of as slvts.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

guru1000

guru1000

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Consider this a means to an end. She did you a favor, by saving you grief down the road. She's not flexible, lose her!
 
D

Dongfu

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Leave another fart on her voicemail :crackup:
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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