"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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I think I mess up, fart

jlee

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So I was making out hot and heavy with this girl. She was on top of me, getting ready to take her shirt off. I let loose a rip, and she heard it. She said " you did not just do that." I just smiled, try to pull her close to me and continue kissing. But she said its too hot, got off me. She went into the bathroom clean up. Went back out into living room and grab her stuff and said she had to go. I was like wow... I really mess up this time...

I'm not sure what to do now...
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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WaterTiger

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:nono: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :crackup: :nono:

Oh DAAAAMN that was funny!
 

J-Bone

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haha wow man! i'd have to say the hell with her and good ridance. she is too uptight and prissy. i've dated a bunch of girls who just laugh that or i'd have them so turned on they would ignore it because they wouldn't dare do anything that might possibly make me stop
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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WaterTiger

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I don't know if you can recover from this. Some people take flatulence as a HUGE social no-no. It's a natural body function like burping. I'd have laughed it off and teased you about it. Sounds like this girl has NO sense of humor, you probably didn't want her anyway.

Life ain't perfect...farts happen!
 

jlee

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I'm lactose intolerant and that morning I was eating cereal. I know I shouldn't be eating cereal and drinking milk but I did anyways. I sent her an sms explaining why I let out gas and that I was embarrass about it.

Man talk about messing up...
 

SaucyBoy

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You messed up but so did she. She is ready to fvck you but she can't stand to hear a fart? It's different if she was down there and it went right into her face.

Now you know that you should stick to food you can handle man.
 

superchristx

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That's ridiculous, I don't care how hot she is everybody farts. How long are you supposed to hold in your farts? What if you married her? That would be forty years of squeezing your ******* closed.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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I.A.F.Y.B.

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Oh well, theres always more fishes to sleep with. Just let that be a lesson to you for next time :crackup: I'm susprised she got so offended hasn't she ever farted or queefed before?
 

jlee

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No it wasn't a wet one. It was a small fart, didn't even smell. That's all.
 

Teflon_Mcgee

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I don't know, if some girl did that to me I'd be pretty turned off.

There's a time and a place, and that's not it. She overreacted, but you definatley killed the mood.

When the moods gone, the moods gone.
 

Bvbidd

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Take a look at it from her point of view.

It would be a lot harder for her to respect herself if she went any further with you. Girls really don't like being thought of as slvts.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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guru1000

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Consider this a means to an end. She did you a favor, by saving you grief down the road. She's not flexible, lose her!
 

Dongfu

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Leave another fart on her voicemail :crackup:
 
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