I put myself in an odd situation...

[RangerMIke]

I have no problem with trying but why would I waste more energy when she looks like she doesn't even want to talk?

It really doesn't take a lot of energy to ask her out. Takes less than a minute, and then you will know. I think your best course of action now is to just move on and forget about her.... There is a reason why you haven't taken action, trust your gut.

 

[gh0st_meth0d]

It really doesn't take a lot of energy to ask her out. Takes less than a minute, and then you will know. I think your best course of action now is to just move on and forget about her.... There is a reason why you haven't taken action, trust your gut.

This exactly.
I am trusting my gut on this and right now everything points towards not trying again. If I see her I will only acknowledge her but I won't be the one to initiate a conversation. At this point I am just being nothing more but polite. I saw her this morning, she stood right next to me in rush hour traffic but I didn't talk much other than just greeting her and moving on to my studies.

I said this before: I took my shot and I missed. Like a professional athlete, now I just wait for a better opportunity, but not in front of the same net.

 

[gh0st_meth0d]

Today I got on my train, didn't spot her, but a minute after I boarded, she moved down from the upper level coach and stood right next to me. I just asked her if she saw any open seats up there, she said she didn't look. I immediately went back to my book and started reading, on the way out she was right behind me when she could have just as easily gone the other way. I just said have a great day and went on my way.

She looked nervous standing right next to me though. More so than yesterday morning. The plan remains the same - I will not initiate a conversation, if she wants to talk she can come to me.

 

[gh0st_meth0d]

She was still being friendly last week, but this week there was no sign of her. It's now been 3 weeks since I asked her and I am done with her. If she does come back I won't entertain it she's had her chance. Case closed.

Moral of the story: Never waste time on someone who clearly only likes your attention and nothing else.

 

[gh0st_meth0d]

The moment I decided to mind my own business, she suddenly came back. We walked together in the same direction a couple of times, got to know one another and both of those times she waited for me after she got off the train. By now I no longer have interest in her, and am just being polite but at least now I know what to do if this ever happens again.

At this point I can see she really only likes my attention, so I do not freely give it anymore and the dynamic between us is changed. The few times I sat in the same coach as her I caught her looking my way, I just smiled and went back to reading my book.

 

[Travel memoir21]

The moment I decided to mind my own business, she suddenly came back. We walked together in the same direction a couple of times, got to know one another and both of those times she waited for me after she got off the train. By now I no longer have interest in her, and am just being polite but at least now I know what to do if this ever happens again.

At this point I can see she really only likes my attention, so I do not freely give it anymore and the dynamic between us is changed. The few times I sat in the same coach as her I caught her looking my way, I just smiled and went back to reading my book.

Sounds like you did the right thing and moved on. To be honest, this sounds like some typical chick flick off a movie or something lol. But yeah, brother, moved on, you shot your shot and she showed her true colors.

 

[gh0st_meth0d]

Two days after I asked her out I saw her running away, then a week after that she found me in the train. I was focused on my own intentions at the time, greeted her but didn't pay her any more attention even though she was standing right next to me less than a foot away for over 30 minutes.

A week later she stood next to me, poked me on the shoulder and said good morning, so I just kept the conversation going, she ended up walking with me - coincidentally the exact same way as when I asked her out but I didn't do it again. Same thing next day - again I do not care. Soft no is the same as a flat out no. If she changes her mind then I will need to think about it as well.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Two days after I asked her out I saw her running away, then a week after that she found me in the train. I was focused on my own intentions at the time, greeted her but didn't pay her any more attention even though she was standing right next to me less than a foot away for over 30 minutes.

A week later she stood next to me, poked me on the shoulder and said good morning, so I just kept the conversation going, she ended up walking with me - coincidentally the exact same way as when I asked her out but I didn't do it again. Same thing next day - again I do not care. Soft no is the same as a flat out no. If she changes her mind then I will need to think about it as well.

Not talking in absolutes here, but this is the other side of plate spinning. Just like men use attention to get sex, women can use the possibility of sex to get attention, and this is often how they spin their plates, keeping men engaged and orbiting with just enough closeness or flirtation to maintain interest without offering real progression. Women value attention while men value sex.

You already asked her out. The general consensus is that she is the one that has to ask you out next time to move forward.

 

[gh0st_meth0d]

Not talking in absolutes here, but this is the other side of plate spinning. Just like men use attention to get sex, women can use the possibility of sex to get attention, and this is often how they spin their plates, keeping men engaged and orbiting with just enough closeness or flirtation to maintain interest without offering real progression. Women value attention while men value sex.

You already asked her out. The general consensus is that she is the one that has to ask you out next time to move forward.

Yes - if she wants to spend time with me she has to ask for it. I am not doing this again - once is enough. The fact that she is talking to me is encouraging on its own, but I am not getting too far ahead of myself, not this time. Besides, there have been plenty of times so far where I either stood right next to her, or sat across from her in the same aisle, just reading my book and minding my own business. I've said this before but to me it feels like she is playing games and I have zero time for that.

And I know she works in the financial industry, we discussed our careers once before. Yet I am farther ahead of her in the money game, unlike many people (herself included) I have my money working for me every day. As of yesterday, I made my first $100 on the stock market without day trading - because I work full time otherwise I would try day trading - the way I see it right now is that my life is interesting enough without her in it, and if she can't see what she's missing in me than that is her loss, no skin off my back.

As of three weeks ago, I started a home workout regimen, coupled with a weekly gym session with a good friend of mine on Saturdays. That has been the highlight of my week so far. Plus there are plenty more better looking women at that gym than her, so there is no need for me to wait for her to make up her mind or stop playing games - again as per above I have no time nor the patience for that.