"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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i never thought i'd ask for advice here

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Tell this hor to put up or shut up!!! Enough with the sexualy frustrated verbal sparring match!!! Be a man and do and get what you want!!!
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Synthesize

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Okay, I called her. She called back the next day (*****). I'm guess she's either playing games or is busy. Well, I guess I'm either playing games or busy then. I didn't pick up because I was sleeping.

So I am holding out for tomorrow to call back. If she wants a delay between calls, I'm going to give her a delay also. Maybe I'm a spiteful *******. This is my life, though.

The message:
"Hey, Kevin, it's J, just calling you back. Sorry I didn't call you back...the day you called. But um, is everything okay? You sounded a little upset. Not sure if that was the case, though, but if you just needed to talk or anything like...that, you know I'm always here for you. Just call me back...when...you get this. Or just...just let me know what's up. <can't hear this part of the message>...drunk. Call me back when you get this. Bye."

Lots of stuttering, some nervous laughter. She is a ****ing weird girl. Or maybe she has a thing for me? Or maybe she's confused why I'd be upset. *I'm* quite confused. I'm making mistakes left and right, and I can't imagine how I'm keeping this **** going. What the **** is going on?

I'm gonna call her back today after I wake up at around 6pm. That'll be roughly 27 hours since she left her message.

Don't bash the stupid things I've done here too hard. I don't need it.

More advice, please. Third party analysis of the situation would be helpful.
 

Bonhomme

Master Don Juan
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Too close to this to think straight

Wow -- what a weird-ass story.

You're too close to the situation to think straight. You're right to ask for third-party advice.

Sheeit, this gal's really into you.

Give her a call as you plan, and keep it playful and fun. Don't botch things up by getting too mushy on her, but don't be afraid to be a bit human, either if the flow dictates it. And don't be out-and-out mean, either. You're glad to get in touch with her, and ready to jump right back in an enjoy giving each other a bit of ****, right? Not to be too Zen about it, but go with the flow.

Then when you get together, just make your move, already, when the vibe is up. :)

And do keep sober enough to be thinking straight.
 

Synthesize

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My God, my phone died while talking to her on the phone after doing like 5 phonetags. This is getting ridiculous.
 

Climax

Master Don Juan
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Too much effort

Originally posted by Synthesize
My God, my phone died while talking to her on the phone after doing like 5 phonetags. This is getting ridiculous.
Looks like u are having more trouble with the phones than with her! Why dont you just but a phonecard or something and phone her from a payphone? Those always seem to "have goo reception" and they dont run on batteries;)

By the way... you are putting SO MUCH effort into this chick, and u are getting so worked about her, i think u should stop for a second, realise that u are outting all this effort, and realise that there are PLENTY of other chicks that u can direct your effort to, and when this girl gets back, THEN u can direct your effort back to her, i think that what u need to do now is just give her a short phonecall saying " Hey, listen, these phones are giving me sh!t and its just too much of a problem to speak like this, so when u get back we must catch up, or get togeather" or watever, u get my drift? In the meantime, lok around, and find urslf some other girls.

Laterz...
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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