I NEED your advice - Fighting Illness and Isolation - Talking to Women etc.

[kwhitley]

Men,

This is not a sob story, this is not self pity, this is a genuine plea for other perspectives and actionable advice.

I am 21/m, I deal with a constant 'mystery' illness that every doctor in multiple professions have not been able to diagnose. There is clearly something wrong with my body given the bloodwork but a root cause hasn't been found. Symptoms include dizziness, nausea, fatigue, joint pain, food/environmental allergies and insomnia. These symptoms are constant, every day and never go away. This is regardless of consistent exercise, clean healthy food, cardio, etc. I rarely eat any junk food and I have a healthy lifestyle, but my body refuses to function normally.

Previously I was bed ridden for about 6 months but thanks to some medicine I've been able to go out for the past month (now I deal with only dizziness, joint pain, fatigue and light sensitivity), however I'm not able to drive yet, my siblings drive me around. My only social group is a church group that I go to twice a week, consisting of singles and couples. The people there have known me for many years despite the changes in my personality (btw I'm a Christian so sleeping with women outside of marriage is out of the question, but plate spinning is not). The people there know me as an extroverted and fun person, but I'm not exactly a 'leader' there since I've been gone for so long.

I've been getting into PUA and Redpill (Rational Male) for the past month and I freaking love it, however I don't have many experiences with women. In fact, my only pool of testing/experimenting game is this church group, which to me isn't the best because there aren't many pretty single women there at all. I've been on a couple dates in my life, but I don't feel like that Alpha jock who can walk into a room and get all the women looking at him. In fact, I don't feel much at all. My libido is cray low because this mystery-illness I have makes my T levels very low (estrogen is almost non-existent). I don't feel like a feminine AFC but at the same time I don't feel like the masculine Alpha who gets the female gaze without trying. And if you're curious, I don't masturbate nor do I watch porn. Sure those are bad activities to engage in but I don't even have the desire to do those things. I'd have to force myself to jerk off (yeah, weird stuff). I very much feel like a luke warm person, despite my desire of wanting to become a masculine man.

My interests/hobbies include piano, books, cooking, and weight lifting. I'm helping my dad (when I can) in his real estate business, but I need a consistent flow of income (he pays me commission only and I haven't gotten a deal yet). Some of the skills I'm developing are sales, marketing and web design. Ofc hypergamy doesn't care about any of this but at the same time when I can do something, I'm usually doing something.

Ofc my game is pretty bad but I want to get better. I don't have enough material to run a set (nor do I know how to run one lol) and I'm looking for ways to do that. I also need to find a way to make money while at home (I live with my dad and he helps alot)- anything that requires driving is hard as it is and anything physical is out of the question. I can last at social gatherings for a time before the symptoms get unbearable. I don't want this sickness to prevent me from living.

So to sum it all up, my problems are:

Constant dizziness & fatigue
Can't Drive
No income
No girls
Uncertainty for health in the future
No game
Limited ability in social interaction & movement

What advice do you have to offer.

 

[Prepostereax]

Sounds like you already have enough on your plate without adding the drama of women into the mix..
You need a life coach, not dating advice.
Still, we are here now..

The "no-sex before marriage" clause limits your options to mostly church groups, but I've known non-religious girls who adhere to this too.
You aren't gonna find them on dating apps.. maybe try volunteering?
@Travel memoir21 has similar values but far better circumstances

{btw, "plate-spinning" means sex without a relationship, so whatever you are referring to, your parameters do not accommodate this.
Maybe you meant relationship without sex, which is friendzoning, and this you want to avoid}

Good news is that some such girls happen to be attractive.
And they often look for things beyond the surface.
{for example, there's a religious pretty & slim girl like this at my work, who complains she's destined to remain single forever.. then one day she pointed out a client who she whispered would be her "dream man".. short, skinny, at least 15 years older, and with a bright confident smile}

You're 21
Your best years are yet to come.
Most other 21 year olds, with the exception of Chad & Tyrone, also have their own personal shyt to deal with, especially when it comes to dating.
They are just hurdles to overcome, in time.
Being isolated, unable to drive, and without cash flow, means that you are boned right now.
Fine.
You know what to work on then.

Regarding your health issues, pace yourself.
If you have a promising event coming up, make sure you rest up beforehand, so you have the energy to present your best self.
What you want to avoid is attending a function right after a busy day of work/study.

Women should never be your goal, they are something that will happen naturally on your journey.
If I could tell my 21yo self anything, it would be to not jump at the first pretty puzzy that shows interest.
It's far easier to fall into relationships {all that takes, is for two people to say "yes" to one another, in the heat of the moment}, than to extricate from one gone sour.

Don't dwell on your limitations.
Focus on the good stuff, what you are capable of, and what you have to offer.
For example, you have a well-rounded and interesting range of hobbies.
When negative thoughts intrude, expel them & replace with positives.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

See a naturopath OP and if you're vaxxed look into detox

 

[plumber]

medical investigations can be expensive and no always helping. if your in the usa or other like area make sure to seek public funded help if you can qualify. maybe you can find a practitioner that will help treat some of your symptoms while you continue to look for a cause. its likely that cause can be found if getting to the right place that knows. don't be shy to ask for such help.

what you wrote here is really well presented and easy to understand. maybe you have a future as a writer.

there are treatments for some of the symptoms your telling, perhaps one or several of those would improve your situation enough to give you a real boost of feeling better. i mean if you can not find the cause, try to fix some of the issues you tell about.

if your low t and lifting weights to improve, that tells a lot. you really want to do it. because in that situation its difficult to do.

most of the advice in this forum is usually targeted to helping men understand behaviors of women and how to react or not react to those. also to motivate men to do what needs to be done, such as lifting that you are already doing.