I live with my parents in suburban Delaware, but still get laid a lot - Ask Me Anything

[BaronOfHair]

i got laid when I lived with my parents too

Same here: My stepmother was a nymphomaniac of Matty Walkerish proportions

 

[Sega Genesis]

BPH, I'm glad you tagged @BeExcellent perhaps she will chime in!

She hasn't been around much lately and speaking personally I kinda miss her insights, hope she's OK.

 

[Sega Genesis]

Most women are not going to be interested in the average man.

Fair point but I wasn't just talking about looks/appearance. Sure a guy can looksmaxx and become the hottest man to have ever lived...

However if he has NO "game" (for lack of a better word) he's gonna fail with many beautiful high quality women assuming that's the type of woman he wants.

I think it's unrealistic for a man to assume all he has to do is approach and a woman is gonna "be interested."

Sure many women might as you've experienced but not all and it's not always so easy for a man to transform himself from average to a Chad.

Anyway...

The reason I've asked these questions and challenged you a bit is because if you want your business to be successful, it's important (IMHO) to cater your advice to a broad range of men - average looking men, men who are shy/awkward, men who struggle with knowing what to say and do without it coming off phony, disingenuous and contrived.

And to be specific. Flirt? How? Many men have no idea how to flirt, how to intrigue and create mystery, get her rabbit wheels spinning which does create attraction. I've encountered them!

I think the reason why Neil Strauss was successful (in part) was because he was an average man, and men could relate to him.

But despite being "average," he became a successful seducer, and men flocked to him for that reason.

That said I do understand your POV too.

Good luck!

 

[BPH]

Fair point but I wasn't just talking about looks/appearance. Sure a guy can looksmaxx and become the hottest man to have ever lived...

However if he has NO "game" (for lack of a better word) he's gonna fail with many beautiful high quality women assuming that's the type of woman he wants.

I think it's unrealistic for a man to assume all he has to do is approach and a woman is gonna "be interested."

Let me try to make use of an analogy for "game"...what would you say would be the difference between a good fisherman and a bad one?

They're both fundamentally using the same tools: a rod, some line, and a hook. So why would their results be any different?

A skilled fisherman might use bait to attract what he wants. He'll know how fast he needs to reel his line in to get a bite - not so slow that it's boring, but also not so fast that it's rushed. He'll know the best techniques for tiring his fish out once he gets a bite, so he can bring it closer and closer to him so he can finally claim it.

An unskilled fisherman might not use bait at all, thinking the lure that came with his rod is good enough. He might not get any bites at all, and if he does, he might not know how to reel his fish in without snapping the line. And even if he manages to get lucky, about to seal the deal, he might be awkward getting his catch off the hook and watch in dismay as it slips through his hands and flops its way back into the water, never to return.

"Game" is about capitalizing on the interest of the women who want to buy what you're selling.

I have several friends who are better-looking, taller, and make more money than I do. The reason I have more success with women than they do is that I'm going up to and meeting more women who are interested in me. And because I've met more women who were interested in me, I know what to do with them.

Sure many women might as you've experienced but not all and it's not always so easy for a man to transform himself from average to a Chad.

Of course it's not. It wasn't easy for me. But that's why I've had so much more success than the average man when it comes to women - I made changes.

The reason I've asked these questions and challenged you a bit is because if you want your business to be successful, it's important (IMHO) to cater your advice to a broad range of men - average looking men, men who are shy/awkward, men who struggle with knowing what to say and do without it coming off phony, disingenuous and contrived.

I appreciate that, truly. They've been great questions and I've enjoyed answering

And to be specific. Flirt? How? Many men have no idea how to flirt, how to intrigue and create mystery, get her rabbit wheels spinning which does create attraction. I've encountered them!

How to flirt is too broad a subject with too much nuance to adequately answer. I think it boils down to expressing a romantic desire and seeing if that is returned.

If it is not, there is very little you can do. As with my point about identifying high vs low interest, there is very little you can do right with an uninterested woman, and very little you can do wrong with an interested one.

Flirting is simply leading the interaction forward: compliment her appearance, take an interest in her (where she's from, who she's with, whether she comes here often), inject a little bit of humor and fun, close the distance and break the touch barrier, isolate, kiss, isolate more, f***. If you're stopped at any point along this journey, spend a little more time in the stage you're at, but also recognize that if she shuts down the possibility of things moving further, you should allocate your time elsewhere.

If I wanted to sell shoes, I wouldn't be marketing to people without feet. Similarly, if I'm selling sex, I wouldn't be investing time in women who weren't interested.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I have several friends who are better-looking, taller, and make more money than I do. The reason I have more success with women than they do is that I'm going up to and meeting more women who are interested in me. And because I've met more women who were interested in me, I know what to do with them.

^^No doubt!

My only point BPH is that from my observation (reading, experiencing, observing), this^^ is not most men's experience.

Most men cannot simply approach and a woman will "be interested." They need to "do" something to create that interest. Not blatantly but rather subtley so that she hardly notices what's happening!

But she's intrigued.

Look I don't mean to sound preachy, but do you want your business to cater to only those men who share your experience of being hot and having women instantly interested?

I can't speak for you but I would assume you would want your business and advice to cater to all men, including men who are not so fortunate to have women instantly interested.

Men who are clueless about knowing what to say and do and how to flirt, escalate etc.

I post on another forum, and I am often shocked at what I read from some men!

Anyway nuff said from me, I don't claim to have all the answers and I am a "fish" lol so what do I know.

Just giving my perspective from having taken a few business courses and learning what appeals to the masses.

Versus a particular demographic (in this case hot men who attract women by their mere presence such as yourself). And knowing what to do from there.

Anyway your call, it's your business after all. You're free to run, operate and cater your advice to whomever you want.

Again I truly wish you all the best! And I mean that sincerely.

 

[BPH]

Most men cannot simply approach and a woman will "be interested." They need to "do" something to create that interest. Not blatantly but rather subtley so that she hardly notices what's happening!

Look I don't mean to sound preachy, but do you want your business to cater to only those men who share your experience of being hot and having women instantly interested?

It sounds like you're hoping for me to give an answer that could be applied by most men today, rather than the REAL answer.

The real answer is that a man is not going to be able to create interest out of thin air if there is none.

If I approach a woman and she shuts me down and rejects me, there's really nothing I can do to change her mind and "force" her to be attracted to me. There is no cheat code or secret phrase that's going to miraculously turn this woman on. There is no up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start.

There are plenty of social experiments on YouTube that showcase this through dating apps. They'll take pictures of a model, create a fake account, write a bio detailing that they've just been released from prison for murder (or something equally heinous), and their opening message will be "wanna fu**?" and the response they receive is a phone number.

That's an extreme example, but you get the idea.

If the average man wants more women to be interested in him, he either becomes above-average or continues searching for women who are content with him being average.

The business I'm building around this focuses on genuine self-improvement, where success with dating becomes the byproduct of that improvement. Becoming a more attractive version of yourself so that more women will be interested, and THEN learning how to identify and capitalize on that interest.

I can tell a man exactly what to say, do, text, etc. But it will not make him a better prospect once that crutch goes away.

That's why it's all about self-improvement, and exactly why so many men struggle to achieve this level of success regarding seduction - because it IS hard.

 

[characternote]

The real answer is that a man is not going to be able to create interest out of thin air if there is none.

this more or less sums it all up.

I think genesis is maybe expecting you to go all in on negs and cold reads and confident body language and DHV stories and c0cky/funny humour etc etc.
But i'm sure you know, as I do, that none of it helps at ALL if she really isn't into you physically (ESPECIALLY on a cold approach!!)
It's mostly all PUA marketing BS that somehow is still clinging on for dear life despite the overwhelming evidence in the form on infields that it simply isn't fit for purpose and doesn't FORCE attraction. It really shouldn't even need to be said

I agree with all of your posts on this matter, tbh. We have similar experiences. And having had certain wingmen I have a crystal clear idea of how this all works for guys of varying attractiveness. I'm playing the same game as you, but the difference is I need too approach about 10x as many girls before I find a hot one who also likes me back (and my old wingman didn't even need to approach ever lol). It's really not a game issue. I stopped spinning my wheels a few years ago now. Stopped trying to work out what I could have done differently or said etc. It's a fools errand. It wasn't your approach angle. It wasn't because you didn't make enough cold reads. Having Mystery and RSDTyler feeding you lines through an earpiece wouldn't have helped! This is a game of screening. Not conversion. It's about closing the girls who want you. The level of 'skill' required for that is up for debate, but i'd argue it's honestly base level social skills. I came to the realisation some time ago that the only people who really benefit from reading PUA books etc are people with super bad social skills. People who really truly learned something when Todd V says 'instead of asking them question after question, ask a question and then make a comment on their answer instead of asking the next question'. 95% of people don't need to learn that

Before I'd ever read a PUA book I was able to very often have sex with girls who I could tell were attracted to me. Having now read like 50+ game books adn watched every 'product' known to man, nothing has really changed lol. I still bang the girls who are clearly attracted to me, And I still have no chance of getting the girls in bed who, when I open them, they are very obviously NOT interested. And i've never seen a PUA, pro coach or otherwise, do whaat I can't do

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Ahh ol BPH got game, but can't see when he's circling the drain of the Cats Meow time suck...

 

[Sega Genesis]

If I approach a woman and she shuts me down and rejects me, there's really nothing I can do to change her mind and "force" her to be attracted to me

Fair enough! However, I wasn't talking about forcing attraction, I don't believe in that either!

Simply engaging her a bit in the ways I described earlier. Building a bit of rapport however he wishes to do that.

Teasing, being playful with her.

I can only speak for myself but it's very rare (if ever) for me to become interested in a man who approaches me based simply on his appearance. Even a Chad and I've experienced this plenty of times to know.

I won't be disinterested either so there is no rejection; I don't feel anything until he opens his mouth and talks to me! And engages me.

But again I am just one woman, it's clear your experiences are much different and I respect that!

Just continue doing you and doing what works! Sounds like you're having a great time, making money and helping men in the process.

Can't argue with that!

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady4(5?5 ecv

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Advice from the old lady4(5?5 ecv

Take this to heart OP.

 

[Prepostereax]

There's a relevant thread on reddit this week:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1mhmo07

Reminds me of the most prolific players I know irl, naturals who would likely smirk if they found this site and wonder "what's so hard about it, you just walk up to a girl you like and play with her.."

* Two of them also lived with their parents, in suburbia, into their 30's
* They came from well to do backgrounds, traditional families, each with 3+ siblings
* didn't do well academically, but have decent jobs, and have changed career at least once each
* facial looks slightly above average (say 6), and only average height 5'9" - not Chad/Tyrone. They still had to approach, most of the time, rather than be invited.
* however they were each physically the fittest in their respective social circles, into physical activities including martial arts
* this gives them a lot of inner confidence, though this manifests differently in each of them
* when they interact with a girl they like, they only spoke in "flirt". They could pull hotties, and even melt ice-queens who shot down almost anyone else who dared approach. Most of their women were "cute" rather than "hot" though.
* failed attempts with LTR's, each impregnated at least one woman, divorce-ræped

 

[Plinco]

I'm refuse to follow the herd. You're a 30+ year old man who lives life like he is 17. What else do you have to show for n life? What did you accomplish? Nothing substantial .

I'm a 40+ year old man who lives like he's 20-25

 

[BadBoy89]

Saying you flirt is so broad. How do you flirt?

I agree it's nuanced as you said, but can you be more specific?

Like for example, great eye contact, teasing her, C&F, mirroring her, light keno, creating tension through push/pull?

In my experience many men flounder in this area and the seduction falls flat.

Flirting is the easiest most simple thing in seduction.

One of my ex's told me “you really like to flirt." My buddy told me "you are really good at flirting"

I know no one has asked but how do I flirt? Tease, make light fun of their behavior,, compliment their looks, trip them up on their own words, use what they say against them, make them laugh, have them touch you, listen to them.

I don't think men flounder in flirting, I think men flounder in not being 6'1.[/QUOTE]

 

[Sega Genesis]

There's a relevant thread on reddit this week:
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/1mhmo07
Reminds me of the most prolific players I know irl, naturals who would likely smirk if they found this site and wonder "what's so hard about it, you just walk up to a girl you like and play with her.."

FWIW before I exit for the evening, as it relates to "seduction," I agree with the reddit/AskMen post and is pretty much what I've been saying, or trying to but clearly failing miserably.

Night guys.

 

[BPH]

I agree with all of your posts on this matter, tbh. We have similar experiences. And having had certain wingmen I have a crystal clear idea of how this all works for guys of varying attractiveness. I'm playing the same game as you, but the difference is I need too approach about 10x as many girls before I find a hot one who also likes me back (and my old wingman didn't even need to approach ever lol). It's really not a game issue. I stopped spinning my wheels a few years ago now. Stopped trying to work out what I could have done differently or said etc. It's a fools errand. It wasn't your approach angle. It wasn't because you didn't make enough cold reads.

I think the disconnect is that the people who understand this take it for granted.

Just as somebody who's new to the gym wouldn't know what to do if you told them to "just work out", or somebody who's poor and unemployed if you told them to "just get a job".

Being able to point guys in the right direction to strengthen their shortcomings is what I seek to do.

Advice from the old lady4(5?5 ecv

Sorry, what?

 

[Chow Mein]

How long was the longest that you’ve kept a woman around without committing?

 

[Gamisch]

I'm a 40+ year old man who lives like he's 20-25

Yeah like I predicted this thread gonna be a huge circle jerk. You also gonna do a AMA?

Next thread; why this site doesn't hit like it used to?

Lastly at 25 I got my first kid so your 25 and mine ain't the same. Like nothing we do in life.

 

[BeExcellent]

I think the disconnect is that the people who understand this take it for granted.

Just as somebody who's new to the gym wouldn't know what to do if you told them to "just work out", or somebody who's poor and unemployed if you told them to "just get a job".

Being able to point guys in the right direction to strengthen their shortcomings is what I seek to do.



Sorry, what?

Got distracted. No worries. More tomorrow when I have some time . Was going to reply then had an urgent call. Didn't realize something posted....

Unless I got hacked.....rather strange.

 

[Gamisch]

Most girls don't know who Joe Flacco is



So did you have an actual question or...?

I find it so odd how guys like you and @New_Journey get routinely bent out of shape about things that don't affect you.

I live with my parents in suburban Delaware, but still get laid a lot - Ask Me Anything

I figure there's a 50/50 chance this ends up being a good idea :rofl: The forum seems a little unhappy at the moment, with a lot of complaints about too much theory, not enough real-world experience. It's a slow, quiet day at work, so I want to see what YOU want to know more about. Whether...

www.sosuave.net

I had to Google it, because I didn't know what it was either. It's not an actual diagnosis, just a pop psychology term that describes adults who exhibit childlike behavior, such as avoiding responsibilities and lacking maturity.

To clarify, while I do live with my parents, I don't subsist on them. I buy my own things, I make my own food, I do my own laundry, and I handle personal problems as they arise (car troubles, medical visits, taxes, etc). I found a statistic that 19% of men aged 25-34 in the USA live with their parents - it's not the majority, and it's not ideal, but I wouldn't consider that rare either.



I really can't think of a single time when it's been a dealbreaker. If things are going well enough that she's asking me where I live, my situation is more of a speed bump than a roadblock. I don't bring it up unless they ask, but if they do ask, I answer honestly: I left my job with a mortgage lender several years ago and moved back home. I tell them I've been saving money and working on businesses that would allow me to leave my current job, because I want to be able to move out and stay out this time.

Sometimes this would make it difficult to meet with women who were in the same situation, because it became unrealistic for us to see each other regularly, which would cause the relationship to die early - but I can't think of an instance where it was a dealbreaker before the close/relationship.

You make a thread flexing the fact you're 32 and still haven't figured out life. That's reversed phycology, I'm bright enough to see the complete picture . You definitely know what the fecks up.

My question is don't you realise that you just spent another 200/ 300 bucks on a woman that should've been spend on SAVING money so you can release yourself from the gribs of " mom's spaghetti "?. And your answers look rather AI generated than sincere but that's a different subject.

Don't you realise that your wasting precious time on bs?

I feel like you're completely missing the point while you simultaneously need this hard talk. I'm here for you bro...