"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I have a porn addiction
- Thread starter deathrock
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Wait, you wanna quit. Well, the best way to quit mild addictions like caffiene or porn (as opposed to crack or cigarettes) is to go incrementally. Just quit for a day, then quit for two, then for 3. That way, you don't have to swear it off all at once. Or ever, really.
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
MacAvoy
Banned
Doggystyle
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
- Messages
- 374
- Reaction score
- 4
I don't know how people have the time for a porn addiction, what a waste of time! think off all you could be doing in that time. Also read the chapter on sex transmutation from think and grow rich, you can find it on line in loads of places if you search for it.
spider_007
Master Don Juan
THAT IS A HORIBLE IDEA. Your just replacing one habit with another.MacAvoy said:
And that other habit is HELL OF A LOT MORE EXPENCIVE (bolive me, im trying to kick it.)
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I think if you called the radio show 'Loveline' and told them that, they'd be like "chill out; you're only normal." Unfortunately for the current state of 'normal,' they would probably be right. If you really had an addiction, it would be more like all day every day. But just throw your collection away and get a real girl - not a hooker, but compromise a little if you have to. The real thing is much better.deathrock said:
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2004
- Messages
- 1,930
- Reaction score
- 59
I can tell you have no idea about porn, or even masturbation addictions. People who share you attitude think that it is about "not being able to get a girl". "I can get a girl, therefore I am better than you and you just need to be able to get what I can get".Bible_Belt said:
Get off your high horse. Simply not true. I can't tell you how many cases I've seen of people trying to kick porn and masturbation addictions in marriages that are otherwise going well. I've seen one documentary on at least 5 of them alone.
So no, it is NOT about the guy not being able to get a girl to pleasure him. It is an addiction, PERIOD. It is a psychological state, independent of the physical situation. The body thinks it NEEDs the porn/masturation. It is a strong psychological link. Has nothing to do with another girl being in the picture. It is not that simple.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
umm, I guess that's a compliment, so thanks
I can't tell you how many cases I've seen of people trying to kick porn and masturbation addictions in marriages that are otherwise going well. I've seen one documentary on at least 5 of them alone.
From being married, I'd say bullsh!t to that. It's easy to appear like the marriage is doing well when it is not. If one spouse is not getting enough satisfaction from the other, then they turn elsewhere.
It is an addiction, PERIOD.
Fine. If porn is a drug, then just get another drug. There are plenty, and not all of them are bad, like adrenalin or endorphins. If your mind seeks an escape, then give it the escape it wants, but focus it on a different activity. There are plenty of female sex and masturbation addicts. Find one of them and live happily ever after. Escapism through sex is natural and normal.
Basically, I deleted all my porn, even throw out my play boys. It is hard, porn and no mastrubation I mean. At times I find myself doing things or starting to do things. I wouldnt say its involuntary, but I just end up doing stuff.
However, the feeling I get in my crouch is absolutely worth it. That unexplained urge to do things, and while in public, is exceptional for sarging. Im extrimely agressive. SKin color, voice, face expression, everything is different, I even think differentely now.
Hang in there, if you have to jerk, jerk, but not to porn.
thefonz
Master Don Juan
the embarrassment alone will deter you from doing it.
Heart Break Kid
Master Don Juan
- Do your thing
- Wait about a minute to the point where you feel all ashamed
- Delete your porn folder
Eventually you'll just get tired of downloading it. Otherwise just go cold turkey... it's not like it's a disease you lack willpower, its not a physical addiction. It's hard as hell the first 2-3 days but after you're fine.
Try to sublimate it into something else like the gym/sports/hobby.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.