"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
I have a porn addiction
- Thread starter deathrock
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Wait, you wanna quit. Well, the best way to quit mild addictions like caffiene or porn (as opposed to crack or cigarettes) is to go incrementally. Just quit for a day, then quit for two, then for 3. That way, you don't have to swear it off all at once. Or ever, really.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
MacAvoy
Banned
Doggystyle
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2005
- Messages
- 374
- Reaction score
- 4
I don't know how people have the time for a porn addiction, what a waste of time! think off all you could be doing in that time. Also read the chapter on sex transmutation from think and grow rich, you can find it on line in loads of places if you search for it.
spider_007
Master Don Juan
THAT IS A HORIBLE IDEA. Your just replacing one habit with another.MacAvoy said:
And that other habit is HELL OF A LOT MORE EXPENCIVE (bolive me, im trying to kick it.)
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I think if you called the radio show 'Loveline' and told them that, they'd be like "chill out; you're only normal." Unfortunately for the current state of 'normal,' they would probably be right. If you really had an addiction, it would be more like all day every day. But just throw your collection away and get a real girl - not a hooker, but compromise a little if you have to. The real thing is much better.deathrock said:
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 4, 2004
- Messages
- 1,930
- Reaction score
- 59
I can tell you have no idea about porn, or even masturbation addictions. People who share you attitude think that it is about "not being able to get a girl". "I can get a girl, therefore I am better than you and you just need to be able to get what I can get".Bible_Belt said:
Get off your high horse. Simply not true. I can't tell you how many cases I've seen of people trying to kick porn and masturbation addictions in marriages that are otherwise going well. I've seen one documentary on at least 5 of them alone.
So no, it is NOT about the guy not being able to get a girl to pleasure him. It is an addiction, PERIOD. It is a psychological state, independent of the physical situation. The body thinks it NEEDs the porn/masturation. It is a strong psychological link. Has nothing to do with another girl being in the picture. It is not that simple.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
umm, I guess that's a compliment, so thanks
I can't tell you how many cases I've seen of people trying to kick porn and masturbation addictions in marriages that are otherwise going well. I've seen one documentary on at least 5 of them alone.
From being married, I'd say bullsh!t to that. It's easy to appear like the marriage is doing well when it is not. If one spouse is not getting enough satisfaction from the other, then they turn elsewhere.
It is an addiction, PERIOD.
Fine. If porn is a drug, then just get another drug. There are plenty, and not all of them are bad, like adrenalin or endorphins. If your mind seeks an escape, then give it the escape it wants, but focus it on a different activity. There are plenty of female sex and masturbation addicts. Find one of them and live happily ever after. Escapism through sex is natural and normal.
Basically, I deleted all my porn, even throw out my play boys. It is hard, porn and no mastrubation I mean. At times I find myself doing things or starting to do things. I wouldnt say its involuntary, but I just end up doing stuff.
However, the feeling I get in my crouch is absolutely worth it. That unexplained urge to do things, and while in public, is exceptional for sarging. Im extrimely agressive. SKin color, voice, face expression, everything is different, I even think differentely now.
Hang in there, if you have to jerk, jerk, but not to porn.
thefonz
Master Don Juan
the embarrassment alone will deter you from doing it.
Heart Break Kid
Master Don Juan
- Do your thing
- Wait about a minute to the point where you feel all ashamed
- Delete your porn folder
Eventually you'll just get tired of downloading it. Otherwise just go cold turkey... it's not like it's a disease you lack willpower, its not a physical addiction. It's hard as hell the first 2-3 days but after you're fine.
Try to sublimate it into something else like the gym/sports/hobby.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.