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I feel really overshadowed by a good-looking man who started at my university

Michael2000

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I have always felt that I have been quite liked by girls at my university, and I have often seemed to be considered one of the handsome guys at my schools.
However, this year a new guy started in my class, and there are several things about him that intimidate me a lot;
one thing is that he is a lot taller and has a more "powerful" built than me - I am 6'0 and quite slim, and he is probably about 6'6 and muscular - so I feel quite insecure around him.
Another reason is that he is extremely good-looking;
seriously, he is easily supermodel material, and even I as a straight guy feel a bit of a fluttering stomach when I see him.
I have never seen a guy who is that over-the-top good-looking, and it always feels like a lot to take in.
And this of course means that he ends up getting girls' attention incredibly easily;
I once flirted with a girl who seemed to like me, and then this guy happens to appear, and that girl started giving him unmistakable glances of interest over and over (she smiled sweetly to him every time she looked at him, and started fixing her hair a lot), and eventually told me that she had to talk to someone about homework, and then she just walked up to him and started flirting with him.
And he has that same effect on the girls in our class as well;
lots of girls who invite him to parties, ask him out, tease him, say his name to him with very sultry voices, and all of that.
He seems to mostly look flattered, and sometimes a bit awkward.

I am not sure what I want to say here;
it just sort of bothers me a bit how he gets so many girls this easily, without making any effort whatsoever.
I am essentially totally invisible if he is in the same room, and he always gets girls around him if we are in the same room as girls for any prolonged period of time.
I also remember that I saw a beautiful blonde girl sit on his lap during a recess at one point, and they were making out, so I know that he is interested in girls, and thus likely to enjoy the spotlight if he feels like it.
 

Konada

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Its a slippery slope if you let it get to you. Soon enough, your intimidated vibe will show and you will get less women showing interest.

He won the genetics lottery, nothing much you can do about that. However, from what you wrote he seems to have 0 game.

Your best play is to keep doing what you have been doing. Assuming your game is tight, this dude will blow himself out sooner or later.

Stay confident and know your strengths, play to it.
 

zekko

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I'm always suspicious of first posts being from trolls, but I'll say this: The "new guy" is always going to get more attention on the whole (IF he's good looking), because he's a novelty and girls can impose their fantasies of what he is really like on him.
 

sevbucmash

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Clearly you both have SEXAPPEAL. He has more because of his features.

How about MONEY and CELEBRITY status?

You can always dress nicer, brand name clothes. Obviously any clothes will look better on him, because he has build body so keep that in mind. You too should get build body, that goes towards SEXAPPEAL. As far as CELEBRITY or AUTHORITY you have options here. Maybe join a sports team in your college or an a media class, something that gets your face shown and recognizable.

MONEY -- you don't have to be rich. Perhaps there is something you like or have an idea of doing. If you start your own business and people see it, your value goes up. Maybe you have an online shop where you offer products or services, you can advertise that on your car or on your t-shirt.


P.S. This goes to show you nature of women. You can be alright and everything if fine and dandy, but when chad rolls in on white horse they gone.
 

Jor-El

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Why give a crap what he thinks/does/looks like ? If hes been born good looking and all that brings,well,good for him. Concentrate on making your life/appearance/attitude better. Jealously is a dead end
 

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BillyPilgrim

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Work on your shadow tolerance OP. If not this guy, someone or something else will be overshadowing or bothering you. What is this a symptom of? There will always be some guy better than you, and even if you're the top guy you're going to be worried about losing status. It's a fool's game. Just work on being your best self.
 

stringpuller

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I have always felt that I have been quite liked by girls at my university, and I have often seemed to be considered one of the handsome guys at my schools.
However, this year a new guy started in my class, and there are several things about him that intimidate me a lot;
one thing is that he is a lot taller and has a more "powerful" built than me - I am 6'0 and quite slim, and he is probably about 6'6 and muscular - so I feel quite insecure around him.
Another reason is that he is extremely good-looking;
seriously, he is easily supermodel material, and even I as a straight guy feel a bit of a fluttering stomach when I see him.
I have never seen a guy who is that over-the-top good-looking, and it always feels like a lot to take in.
And this of course means that he ends up getting girls' attention incredibly easily;
I once flirted with a girl who seemed to like me, and then this guy happens to appear, and that girl started giving him unmistakable glances of interest over and over (she smiled sweetly to him every time she looked at him, and started fixing her hair a lot), and eventually told me that she had to talk to someone about homework, and then she just walked up to him and started flirting with him.
And he has that same effect on the girls in our class as well;
lots of girls who invite him to parties, ask him out, tease him, say his name to him with very sultry voices, and all of that.
He seems to mostly look flattered, and sometimes a bit awkward.

I am not sure what I want to say here;
it just sort of bothers me a bit how he gets so many girls this easily, without making any effort whatsoever.
I am essentially totally invisible if he is in the same room, and he always gets girls around him if we are in the same room as girls for any prolonged period of time.
I also remember that I saw a beautiful blonde girl sit on his lap during a recess at one point, and they were making out, so I know that he is interested in girls, and thus likely to enjoy the spotlight if he feels like it.
Comparing yourself to other men is a frame killer.
Here it is in real time. Said this many times in the past. Why not just not gaf? And enjoy yourself?
The older I get im starting to wonder if this has its roots in being in the closet? Why would another dudes SMV knock you down?
So he nails all the worlds women? Lol
 

Murk

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Imagine him banging your mother
 

corrector

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I am essentially totally invisible if he is in the same room,
Now you know how incels and sub-5s feel. What you are saying is you are like that when he is around.
 
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corrector

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Comparing yourself to other men is a frame killer.
Here it is in real time. Said this many times in the past. Why not just not gaf? And enjoy yourself?
Yeah, by fapping at home while he gets all the girls.

Seriously, when the ladies virtually act like you don't exist when the other guy is there and is throwing themselves on them and you feel invisible you can't really enjoy yourself. You can just really stay to yourself or get away from that environment. It's not the fact that they are just throwing themselves on him, you are like nothing to them and it makes you feel neutered. It's damaging to the self-esteem to feel that invisible. The OP talks to women, but their mind is on the giga-Chad and getting out of the convo so they can connect with him.

Enjoy yourself alright.
 
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zekko

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Could try to befriend him. That would get you into his circle, which is probably abundant (or will be if he's new in the area - you could get in on the ground floor). As a team, you could probably slay. Or at worst you could scavenge his castoffs. Plus they say you should always hang with people better than you - this theory says you are always a combination of the five people you hang out with most. Maybe he would train with you.
 

characternote

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It does read like a slightly troll post especially being the 1st post, but i'll give you the benefit of the doubt since I have a decent amount of real life experience with exceptionally handsome wingmen (who don't have or need 'game'), so I know what it's like lol

You notice fast that the 'GiRlS aReN't ViSuAL' thing that you hear PUA coaches say couldn't be further from the truth

I still think about times with my wing where he stole girls from me by complete accident. Girls i'd opened and was gaming my ass off to try to turn that 20% of attraction into something, and doing a good job, escalating to some mutual flirting etc, and then my handsome wing walks in the bar and spots me and literally just waves at me or says 'hi' or something, but of course she notices him, and from that point i'm invisible and she's trying HARD to bang him haha. (because with him her attraction was like an instant 100%)

edit: he didn't actually 'steal' them because he'd always turn them down and try to get them interested back in me if anything, since he's a good friend. He turned down sex with hot girls most nights who threw themselves at him unless he was in a new city for the night or something where he knew he could cheat on his gf without getting caught

I'd advice AGAINST befriending him and making him your wing or whatever, personally. It's not good for mental health!! haha. You'll be playing second fiddle all the time

All you can do really is be a big boy and get over it. It's just life. There's people out there that earn what you earn in a year, in minutes. There's people who are so handsome and stuff they can basically get any girl they want. There's people who can dunk like you can only dream. If you spent all your time worrying about all of them, you'd never be able to relax. Comparison is the thief of joy!
 
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zekko

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I'd advice AGAINST befriending him and making him your wing or whatever, personally. It's not good for mental health!! haha. You'll be playing second fiddle all the time
There is that possibility. I had a particular friend I used to go out with looking for women. Seemed like the girls always preferred him. I always did better on my own, or with someone else. I'd be lying if I said it didn't mess with my mind some.
 

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characternote

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There is that possibility. I had a particular friend I used to go out with looking for women. Seemed like the girls always preferred him. I always did better on my own, or with someone else. I'd be lying if I said it didn't mess with my mind some.
I ended up finding the perfect solution for me was to go out with guys who were just super fun to be around and who were socially normal, and normal looking, basically.

I went out with giga chads and, as I said, all that happens is that you spend the whole night in their shadow, even if your game is 10x better

I experimented with doing the opposite at one point and actually went out with my friends who were basically 'incels' - not the best looking dudes, with the idea being that i'd look more attractive in comparison! It SORT OF worked sometimes, although I also lost just as many leads since girls kind of judge you by your friends to some extent, and there were times where these particular friends completely screwed up my interactions! haha

I also experimented gaming in bars on my own - I had some of my best nights/best lays, which might have purely been coincidence If i'm honest. I also had some very bad nights, again - in the UK it's much more unsual to be drinking alone in a bar than in the US and it can look a bit weird to young girls to be out by yourself. I also spent too much of the night being dead-bored!

So yeah, for me, the ideal is to just be out with a fun, cool friend or two, who isn't so handsome that he'll blow me out the water and we can sort of work together in a way.

I found 2 of the best wingmen ever when I travelled to Budapest. 2 US marines. It was maybe no surprise I got so much action there with cute, much younger girls. They were a freaking social hurricane. Both of them. Not overly good looking, but certainly not bad looking. Built my state up. Fun dudes. Very confident. Happy to wing me in a proper way (basically make me look good and help each other get laid in various ways) - my friends from back home aren't on their level when it comes to being a good wing
 

Zimbabwe

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You will just have to settle for his sloppy seconds from now on
 

stringpuller

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you feel invisible you can't really enjoy yourself.
BS Corrector. Its a simple choice you make. Feels before realz is a fem thing. No offence but if this is you then the guy has work to do. Ugly people get laid everyday.

You can just really stay to yourself or get away from that environment
Why? Why not just socialize and be normal.
If you cant then your being creepy.
The OP talks to women, but their mind is on the giga-Chad and getting out of the convo so they can connect with him
Thats not my problem and their opinion of OP is none of his business but he is making it an issue.
 

Michael2000

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Now you know how incels and sub-5s feel. What you are saying is you are like that when he is around.
Yes, I feel that very strongly when he is in the same room as I am.

One thing that makes me uncomfortable about this is that I feel like all those girls think of him as a "far superior specimen";
basically, I feel like they wouldn't hesitate one bit to sacrifice me if they had to choose which of us would remain alive, and then completely forget about me immediately and start fawning over him.
 

corrector

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Yes, I feel that very strongly when he is in the same room as I am.

One thing that makes me uncomfortable about this is that I feel like all those girls think of him as a "far superior specimen";
basically, I feel like they wouldn't hesitate one bit to sacrifice me if they had to choose which of us would remain alive, and then completely forget about me immediately and start fawning over him.
Yeah, I know the feeling all to well. If you have a girldfriend, then the way she look at him or how excited she is about him just ruins the vibe. At least you are single and dont have a gf in that same room or would start getting doubts about her! Even faithful gfs tend to emotionally cheat (ie going up to hug this guy, etc...) They also have a super confidence to approach any woman and you know in these moments how real the gf is with you.
 
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