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I feel really overshadowed by a good-looking man who started at my university

Atom Smasher

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In my view this man is experiencing a very real thing. You can be king of a group until Mr. Chad shows up, in which case 100% of the women will gravitate to him like iron filings to a magnet, creating a very real void.
It changes everything. The women become blind to anyone but the chad. In fact, it is the women who are making the comparison, not the OP primarily. He is more reacting to the observed shift in dynamics. It’s a reality he has to deal with.
I think the only solution is to wait it out until the Chadster screws up somehow. Some of these girls will gradually start dropping off his radar and back into the pool of availability. He might reject some which will cause them to hate him and want to hook up with Mr. Second-Best.

I don’t think it’s fair to the OP to blame him for making too big a deal, or that it’s all in his head. I say wait for the “correction” to occur naturally, as these nutcase girls are extremely mercurial. The pendulum will reverse eventually.

I like @zekko ‘s idea of befriending him if possible. That would start to even out the playing field to some degree.
 

corrector

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In my view this man is experiencing a very real thing. You can be king of a group until Mr. Chad shows up, in which case 100% of the women will gravitate to him like iron filings to a magnet, creating a very real void.
It changes everything. The women become blind to anyone but the chad. In fact, it is the women who are making the comparison, not the OP primarily. He is more reacting to the observed shift in dynamics. It’s a reality he has to deal with.
I'm surprised that only few people are getting this on this thread. For someone of your caliber to have to spoon-feed people on this and validate what others have been trying to say is really sad. This thing is very real.

Befriending someone like that? @characternote tried that and said it doesn't work because he was just overshadowed and was like he wasn't there when he was next to him as a wingman. I respect @characternote contribution because he comes from the place of hard work and cold-approaching, even through he's sub-5 and still pulling through at the end of the day. He should be an inspiration to us all.
 

stringpuller

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That is how the women, in that class, are treating him. I dont get why everybody is so thick about that. Nobody other than @characternote and myself gets this?

The only hope is some girls get burned by that dude and things start souring in that class and he gets a rape charge or something like that. Things like that usually have a way of going terrible for those guys in the end as all it takes is one crazy b1txh to ruin his life.
I just find this entire topic very odd. Especially at Uni level. Wasnt this stuff hashed of guys in grade school? You grew up in a social hierarchy.

OP best advice is maybe a guy mentor or counseling or maybe a good dose of evolutionary biology? The Red Queen is a good read.
Less feels and more science. But I'm just observing. Thats not a prescription.
 

stringpuller

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In my view this man is experiencing a very real thing. You can be king of a group until Mr. Chad shows up, in which case 100% of the women will gravitate to him like iron filings to a magnet, creating a very real void.
It changes everything. The women become blind to anyone but the chad. In fact, it is the women who are making the comparison, not the OP primarily. He is more reacting to the observed shift in dynamics. It’s a reality he has to deal with.
I think the only solution is to wait it out until the Chadster screws up somehow. Some of these girls will gradually start dropping off his radar and back into the pool of availability. He might reject some which will cause them to hate him and want to hook up with Mr. Second-Best.

I don’t think it’s fair to the OP to blame him for making too big a deal, or that it’s all in his head. I say wait for the “correction” to occur naturally, as these nutcase girls are extremely mercurial. The pendulum will reverse eventually.

I like @zekko ‘s idea of befriending him if possible. That would start to even out the playing field to some degree.
When this happens just find a new circle. New girls. Its the same thing throughout life. Suck it up and move on. But its good yes that SS is here for him. That part is good.
If it were me I would befriend the dude.
In my teen years I ran with 1 particular natural who always had a hoard of chics behind him. I capitalized on that.
At the time i did not understand. But even the dogs eat the crumbs from their masters table.
 

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corrector

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When this happens just find a new circle. New girls. Its the same thing throughout life. Suck it up and move on. But its good yes that SS is here for him. That part is good.
If it were me I would befriend the dude.
In my teen years I ran with 1 particular natural who always had a hoard of chics behind him. I capitalized on that.
At the time i did not understand. But even the dogs eat the crumbs from their masters table.
This is his school/class not a social circle. Its rubs the wrong way and can be a distraction to his education. But you are right he needs counselling and mentorship if this starts affecting his grades. He better not be underperforming in these course because of that drama.

I got screwed in University in the late 90s because my headspace was in the wrong place. Not as extreme as OP but more of the suffering in silence issues of crushing over the wrong girls and making poor course decisions, etc...
 

stringpuller

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This is his school/class not a social circle. Its rubs the wrong way and can be a distraction to his education. But you are right he needs counselling and mentorship if this starts affecting his grades. He better not be underperforming in these course because of that drama.

I got screwed in University in the late 90s because my headspace was in the wrong place. Not as extreme as OP but more of the suffering in silence issues of crushing over the wrong girls and making poor course decisions, etc...
I think we all been through that too. Or most have.
Self realization is a powerful tool. Hopefully he starts to turn that around.
 

Michael2000

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The women become blind to anyone but the chad. In fact, it is the women who are making the comparison, not the OP primarily. He is more reacting to the observed shift in dynamics. It’s a reality he has to deal with.
I think the only solution is to wait it out until the Chadster screws up somehow. Some of these girls will gradually start dropping off his radar and back into the pool of availability. He might reject some which will cause them to hate him and want to hook up with Mr. Second-Best.
I think one thing that makes me uncomfortable about these girls' behaviour is that it makes me feel that they view this man as "better", and that he is worth a lot more in their eyes.
Maybe a bit silly, but it feels that way.
 

gwoppin

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Get your head a flight out of Mogistan.

Use him as a measure of your game, and its probably better to have him on your side rather than against you. Be his buddy?
 

mikedee

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I would just accept that he is the one getting the girls and approach other girls outside the university. I wouldn't befriend him for the sake of being around girls, I would be friendly, cool but neutral with him unless you have similar interests and that you think he would make a good friend, chad or not chad. I would focus on my ability to cold approach. You're not getting any skill trying to get laid with the girls in your class, it's social circle game. Not the best idea to try to get laid with the girls of your class.. my opinion

I 100% understand how you fell. Do your things, focus on you.
 

Michael2000

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I would just accept that he is the one getting the girls and approach other girls outside the university. I wouldn't befriend him for the sake of being around girls, I would be friendly, cool but neutral with him unless you have similar interests and that you think he would make a good friend, chad or not chad. I would focus on my ability to cold approach. You're not getting any skill trying to get laid with the girls in your class, it's social circle game. Not the best idea to try to get laid with the girls of your class.. my opinion

I 100% understand how you fell. Do your things, focus on you.
Yes, I am not trying to make contact with the girls in my class;
I know girls in other places, and I have dated a few of them in the past, so I focus more on those girls.

I have noticed that the girls in my class seem to use various tricks to "tempt" him;
for example, one time when he sat down somewhere with some girls one of the girls stood up in front of him and asked him if she looked good in some leggings that I think she had bought, and turned around for him while he had a look, and on another occasion right before a lecture there was another girl who sat next to him and had a conversation with him, and she was apparently showing him some birth marks that were on her breasts (she had a low-cut top that time) and said something about them while smiling a lot about it.
Imight be imagining things, but I got the impression that they were doing these things specifically to make him feel comfortable with looking at their bodies - who knows.
 
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