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I Dumped My GF Today On Her Birthday

dude99

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SHOCKING..

In her own words, she admitted she was a damaged woman.

In her own words, she admitted that she was quite a shallow person.

Every boyfriend before me, screwed her over (more like it was the other way around)

Talk about major major red fuking flags!
You have to seriously be weary of the girl eho says every guy screwed her around. That sounds like someone who refuses to accept responsibility for their own actions
 

soulforge

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You have to seriously be weary of the girl eho says every guy screwed her around. That sounds like someone who refuses to accept responsibility for their own actions

My thoughts too.. when ever a girl tells you, every guy has messed her around, she more than likely has never come to terms or accepted her own role in the demise of that relationship.. always the victim!
 

dude99

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My thoughts too.. when ever a girl tells you, every guy has messed her around, she more than likely has never come to terms or accepted her own role in the demise of that relationship.. always the victim!
Always victim is either a narcissist or sociopath. Either way you want nothing to do with these girls because they arent capable of having a real relationship with another human being
 

dude99

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I have a couple of niggling questions tho everyone?

After i dumped her, she sent me a text and left voice mails agreeing with the break up.

She sounded enthusiastic about breaking up.. and was giving me reasons why she is happy to break up (obviously blaming me)

Was this her attempt at trying to salvage some dignity by acting over enthusiastic about the break up? because it was me who dumped her.

Also i am getting daily messages from her, that i do not read..
If she decided to plead for another chance, would you guys give it to her in this situation??
She was agreeing to the break up in otherwords calling your bluff to see if she could get you to second guess yourself. Its nothing more than a power play and she failed. Giving her another chance is teaching her its ok to treat you like garbage.
 

soulforge

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She was agreeing to the break up in otherwords calling your bluff to see if she could get you to second guess yourself. Its nothing more than a power play and she failed. Giving her another chance is teaching her its ok to treat you like garbage.

Yeh thats what i thought, more than likely a power play by her.. or i damaged her ego.. so eagerly agreeing to the break up was her way of salvaging some dignity.. bishes and there fuking games!
 

dude99

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Yeh thats what i thought, more than likely a power play by her.. or i damaged her ego.. so eagerly agreeing to the break up was her way of salvaging some dignity.. bishes and there fuking games!
Glad you're seeing the light. Now get out there and mingle with some new ladies.
 

dude99

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Yeh thats what i thought, more than likely a power play by her.. or i damaged her ego.. so eagerly agreeing to the break up was her way of salvaging some dignity.. bishes and there fuking games!
You definitely damaged her ego because you blind sided her. You can tell how she behaved she was used ro getting away with everything. You probably didn't realize it during the relationship, you probably forgave her dozens of times when she crapped on you so she had it in the back of her head no matter how horrible she is you will always put it behind yourself and forgive. When you packed your bags and left it blind sided her and she was lashing back. Now as i previous stated go out and meet new ladies.
 

wifehunter

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You really need to block her!!!

You should not be getting text messages, social media, calls etc.

Treat her like she has some kind of awful psychotic disease, and quarantine yourself.
 

visions

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I,m feeling that sadness creeping in here.. WTF have i done guys..

She was attractive, good job we could have made a life together.. now its all gone.

I know it had to be done, but still its starting to hurt
Oh hell no. That b!tch was a no good old ass hag. You need to start looking elsewhere man
 

SamTheHobit

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Good job on having some self respect.
 

l_e_g_e_n_d

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This is really not an issue of her. This is an issue of YOU. She was brought to your life to awaken you to several character deficiencies you hold.

One character deficiency is DEPENDENCE. You seem to think that having a woman (although saddled with children and quite older than you) will make you happy. This is fallacious thinking. Women will not make you happy. Being fulfilled is your job and has nothing to do with women.

Second, STRENGTH. Your vacillating thoughts and likelihood not to cave in to them are a testament to how strong you are or could be.

Third, insecurity and lack of confidence in YOU. I don't know if you have kids, but a young man like you should not be dating much older especially a woman with three children. If your intention were family, you should be seeking a contender who is young and childless. Your choice of woman (especially one of low character) exemplifies the value you hold for yourself.

Consider this breakup a blessing. Without it, you wouldn't have had the opportunity to recognize certain deficiencies in you--and hopefully correct them.

Good luck.
 

soulforge

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UPDATE..

She sent me a text message today, and curiosity got the better of me, so i read it..

HER - I sent a parcel out to you with your CDs in it, did you get it?

She sent that today.. there is another 9 messages on my whatsapp that i have not even read...

So tempted to read them grrrr but i know mostly nothing good will come out of it.

Part of me wants to have her apologise and make up with me.. but doubt that will happen and what future have i got with a woman who didn't give a fuk about my feelings at all, and treated me like chit

I really cared for this woman, feels like she didn't give a fuk about me
 

mrgoodstuff

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Hey man i really appreciate your words there.. means alot and makes allot of sense.

Its true, i need to stay true to my principles!


I imagined we could have a life together.. and there would be an understanding between us, and she wanted the same as me..

Only two weeks ago, she asked me what my expectations are in a relationship, what my do's and dont's are, as she is my GF and she wanted to know.. We was talking about living together so things was getting serious!

I explained to her i'm easy going about most things, the only thing that wouldn't make me happy is, my partner going out to bars regular and getting drunk.

I explained i don't mind the odd night out here or there.. ocassions, birthdays, or a drink with friends.. but going out to bars regular, getting drunk etc, is not a good thing for a healthy relationship in the long run.

And she agreed with me..

After i dumped her.. she left a voice mail stating.. i don't like bieng told where i can go.. WTF

Well i will leave her to it now, she can get smashed in as many bars as she like now.. not my problem anymore!
Right, smashed in the alcohol, and her punany when she feels like it.
 

mrgoodstuff

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I highly suggest you read the no contact thread starting at the very beginning and all the way through. There are great stories of men's transformations through staying no contact, detailing their up and down struggles, as well as plenty of examples of men who thought they might be the exception and recontacted their ex only to experience tremendous regret and they explain why.

When you find yourself thinking of her, start reading there and keep going back and read some more when thoughts of her pop up.

Dedicate the next 60 days to No Contact and you will be a changed man at the end of it.

If you are not exercising everyday now, start today. Help dissipate any tension/frustration/anger/etc out through intense exertion/exercise. The endorphins and self care will serve your transformation as well.
You guys current "equilibrium" is with you getting the short long end of the stick plugged up your rectum. There is nothing to go back there for, the balance doesn't work for you.
 

mrgoodstuff

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UPDATE..

She sent me a text message today, and curiosity got the better of me, so i read it..

HER - I sent a parcel out to you with your CDs in it, did you get it?

She sent that today.. there is another 9 messages on my whatsapp that i have not even read...

So tempted to read them grrrr but i know mostly nothing good will come out of it.

Part of me wants to have her apologise and make up with me.. but doubt that will happen and what future have i got with a woman who didn't give a fuk about my feelings at all, and treated me like chit

I really cared for this woman, feels like she didn't give a fuk about me
She might have cared for you if you cared more about yourself.
 

soulforge

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She might have cared for you if you cared more about yourself.
Dude i do care about myself, why do u think i dropped her..

I'm just very angry with myself for getting emotionally attached to a woman, when there was clear red flags about her commitment to me.

There was warning signs in the past that i ignored, looking back now, i should have walked away or downgraded to FB

Right now all i can think about is Fuking her lol.... maybe i should have downgraded her to fuk buddy.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Dude i do care about myself, why do u think i dropped her..

I'm just very angry with myself for getting emotionally attached to a woman, when there was clear red flags about her commitment to me.

There was warning signs in the past that i ignored, looking back now, i should have walked away or downgraded to FB

Right now all i can think about is Fuking her lol.... maybe i should have downgraded her to fuk buddy.
No. I think she's too prickly. It's not worth it. There will be women all into you for that. This was into herself and hanging with her friends. She did it at your inconvenience. I don't think the sex would be that great with that mindset.
 

soulforge

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She might have cared for you if you cared more about yourself.
You seem to have the wrong impression, that i have been putting up with disrespect from this woman for ages.. not true!

There was around 2 incidences in the past, that i found disrespectful, and on both occasion i called her out on it.. just this incident was too serious to let her get away with
 

mrgoodstuff

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You seem to have the wrong impression, that i have been putting up with disrespect from this woman for ages.. not true!

There was around 2 incidences in the past, that i found disrespectful, and on both occasion i called her out on it.. just this incident was too serious to let her get away with
Be broke up with her for at least a month. If you do decide to waste time on her in the future it's sex only. So she can come over or you can go over, but the transaction usually ends up in sex. Don't let her waste her time, and you can't care about her as "your woman" as long as she's hanging in the bars, actually I wouldn't worry about that part.
 
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