CapedCrusader08
Banned
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2008
- Messages
- 524
- Reaction score
- 3
So then basically, you're against any sort of long term marriage or commitment?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Action fixes it. Talk does nothing. You can talk to a shrink for years and years....but if you take no action you are just mentally masturbating over your problem. Let's see if you can force yourself to change your tone. Think before you write. In fact, sleep on a post before you make it. Don't just spew out a diatribe on "woe is me" think first. Don't even reply to this. Just do what I told you.CapedCrusader08 said:you're right. I have trained myself so much to this, that this all I know how to feel. I get these anxiety attacks as a result of it. I can't help it though. Everyday I am surrounded by people and feel utterly isolated. I see people with that someone they care about who have been with them for x amount of time. I can't help but feel totally empty and alone. I see it everywhere I go. My mood tends to shift. I am really concerned that somewhere during youth or puberty, I like developed wrong or something.
I know I need to let go, but something is holding me back. I don't know, but it's a lack of something. Some sort of purpose or activity even. I mean, I feel I lack, I know I am going on here, in field experience with women. The signs, the body language, the ioi's, I just wouldn't know them. Maybe it is some vibe I give off. like I come off a little desperate. That's what I want to avoid.
It is hard trying to control the mind. I realize that. I really feel like I need to talk with someone, lay everything out to them, and have them go, here's the solution. I will try to do as you said.
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.