CapedCrusader08
Banned
- Joined
- Sep 27, 2008
- Messages
- 524
- Reaction score
- 3
So then basically, you're against any sort of long term marriage or commitment?
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Action fixes it. Talk does nothing. You can talk to a shrink for years and years....but if you take no action you are just mentally masturbating over your problem. Let's see if you can force yourself to change your tone. Think before you write. In fact, sleep on a post before you make it. Don't just spew out a diatribe on "woe is me" think first. Don't even reply to this. Just do what I told you.CapedCrusader08 said:you're right. I have trained myself so much to this, that this all I know how to feel. I get these anxiety attacks as a result of it. I can't help it though. Everyday I am surrounded by people and feel utterly isolated. I see people with that someone they care about who have been with them for x amount of time. I can't help but feel totally empty and alone. I see it everywhere I go. My mood tends to shift. I am really concerned that somewhere during youth or puberty, I like developed wrong or something.
I know I need to let go, but something is holding me back. I don't know, but it's a lack of something. Some sort of purpose or activity even. I mean, I feel I lack, I know I am going on here, in field experience with women. The signs, the body language, the ioi's, I just wouldn't know them. Maybe it is some vibe I give off. like I come off a little desperate. That's what I want to avoid.
It is hard trying to control the mind. I realize that. I really feel like I need to talk with someone, lay everything out to them, and have them go, here's the solution. I will try to do as you said.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.