You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Many do while sitting on the couch all day eating Bon Bons and watching Desperate Housewives. Stimulating stuff.Warrior74 said:Everything on that page is dumb. The sheer mindless stupidity....only a woman could read crap like this day in and day out.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20438736,00.html
Haha I was standing right in front of those two when that picture in the article was taken at Tabu at the MGM in Vegas a couple of months ago. I even remember that pose they took. We had just walked out of the David Copperfield show (sucked) and there they were.backbreaker said:
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Agree.Warrior74 said:Everything on that page is dumb. The sheer mindless stupidity...behold and weep.
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20438736,00.html
e1m00 said:I think we need to learn a lot from Indians regarding family life. This country attaches a lot of importance to moral values. There is no premarital sex. Divorce is very rare. Your wife will be with you throughout your life. You are expected to provide her whatever she needs. The only thing I hate about Indian marriage system is dowry.
e1m00 said:I think we need to learn a lot from Indians regarding family life. This country attaches a lot of importance to moral values. There is no premarital sex. Divorce is very rare. Your wife will be with you throughout your life. You are expected to provide her whatever she needs. The only thing I hate about Indian marriage system is dowry.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I find it odd hearing it from you. Maybe I missed a few posts between here and then (it was years ago, damn, time passes). I remembered you are married (and married young to a girl who actually works for the marriage) and written in a pro-marriage style. Have something changed? My memory is off? Or you have a mistress/just happy despite being unnatural?azanon said:To have mutiple sexual partners is one's natural tendency. Marriage is the thing that's unnatural. When I see someone trying to give some sort of excuse for cheating, it's reminiscent of me of someone attempting to explain why they ate food today. Culture, for better or worse, occasionally mandates that someone makes excuses for natural behavior.
Is it possible to fast/not cheat? Sure, but that doesn't make it natural.
I think we'd be better off if our cultural gradually shifted to one where we weren't so hard on ourselves. Self-imposed rules, especially unnatural ones, are often unhealthy in a variety of ways.
If there's any reason to avoid marriage it is probably this; so you don't have to deal with the unnatural restrictions that marriage imposes in our culture.