Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Interesting Blackwidow, very interesting.Black Widow Void said:Well, here's a secret for those that meet someone on POF and claim that they've cancelled their profiles. If you do a name search for the person. If they have indeed cancelled their profile, it will list the cancelled date. If they have not, it will look as if they have no one by that name.
Zunder, the gal I was seeing said that she was going to put her search "on hold and focus on me." Okay, "on hold" is kind of vague (I could learn from this tool btw). Anyway, I cancelled my profile and discovered that she did not.
I confronted her. She said that she went through effort to perfect her profile and needed to be extra sure before cancelling her profile. I called her on her sh*t, by saying "hey we are both self-proclaimed "glass half full people' and that doesn't sound very 'half full to me.' I did this in a rather masculine and not winy type voice. She cancelled the profile and we went out for a year. Bottom line is that she was worth it (for the most part) but I probably wouldn't do it all over again because she was also flaky as well.
In fairness, sometimes women just like attention and it's nothing more. Some may not condone my suggestion, but create a profile. Look on myspace for the type of guy that you think would capture her interst (make sure that the my space profile has several photos - in case you need a few more). Send this gal a message. See if she bites. No matter if she responds or not, don't tell her you did this. Make sure that your wording is different than your own.
This will let you know if she'll admit to already seeing someone and/or if she's a wh*re for attention. Oh and by the way, don't think that I didn't have a decoy profile that didn't cater to my most recent long term girl friend. I was lucky because she this 'profile' that I created received a lot of responses, but never one from her.
Zunder said:The chick has updated her profile slightly by altering her occupation and removing one of her photos. I think she is definitely keeping her options open. We will see if I can pick up anything from her actions this weekend with me.
Colossus said:I hear you on the ego blow Zunder, but just keep in mind that nothing is truly exclusive until it has been discussed openly and agreed upon. The profile deletion thing was part of the discussion I had with my gf when we became exclusive.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
You'll know there is such a thing if you've ever been on the receiving end. It can be tedious...the_stig said:She had female oneitis for him if there ever was such a thing.