"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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I am extremely book smart, how can I...

Josh Davidson

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use this to do better with women? (I have a bachelor's degree in business, and earned almost all A's throughout my time in school)

Also, one year I did a little over 100 approaches which overall didn't amount to much. What should I try to do next within a year: 200 approaches, 500 approaches, 1000 approaches, or something else (and if so, what?)?
 
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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zekko

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Let me ask this: Have you leveraged this degree into a well paying job or starting a business with a high upside?
I just ask because I think being successful and independent can help a man carry himself better, and have more confidence.
Such a man is aware of his own value, which can help him avoid a scarcity mindset.
 

TheCharmingGuy

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The only way your book smarts can help you land women is helping you find a stable job or business, which is attractive in that you have money and are successful. You will not attract a woman by boring her with your lectures on molecular structure. Book smarts are good for many things, women are not one of them.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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zekko

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The only way your book smarts can help you land women is helping you find a stable job or business, which is attractive in that you have money and are successful. You will not attract a woman by boring her with your lectures on molecular structure. Book smarts are good for many things, women are not one of them.
Agree. But a guy has to maximize his strengths and minimize his weaknesses. I wonder if the OP has some other attractive attributes that he can use?
 

corrector

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100 aproaches is good start. Try 1000 approaches then. Open with Hi Susan, you remember me from so so class? What? You are not Susan? You look like her, oh well, my name is.....

I did this once and the girl really did have that name and was a student and I frooze there in shock.
 

Alvafe

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unfortunate book smarts mean sh!t, sorry school kinda lied to you, far better having experience then book smarts, and only way to get experience is going out there, learn to take risks and learn from then, even better if you can learn from others mistakes
 

Kotaix

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Book smarts don't help. Even if you date 1000 women, if you're in your head trying to make sense of what she's saying or doing, trying to fit that with something you've read, you're going to fail because you aren't in the moment, you're distracted. If book smarts or intelligence mattered, dumb guys would never get laid. But that isn't the case.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Modern Man Advice

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use this to do better with women? (I have a bachelor's degree in business, and earned almost all A's throughout my time in school)

Also, one year I did a little over 100 approaches which overall didn't amount to much. What should I try to do next within a year: 200 approaches, 500 approaches, 1000 approaches, or something else (and if so, what?)?
The quality of the answer is directly dependent on the quality of the question.

If you read as much as you do (I read every single day) you know what I mean. The difference is that I read for a different purpose that has nothing with women. In fact, women are a huge distraction.

So please rephrase your question to get the best quality answer.

Modern Man Advice
 

BillyPilgrim

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Target nerds and sapiophiles. They will usually tell you one way or another they're into geeky/bookish guys
 

mrgoodstuff

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Target nerds and sapiophiles. They will usually tell you one way or another they're into geeky/bookish guys
So the assumption is that a sharp man who reads and betters himself constantly is not sexually arousing?
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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TheCharmingGuy

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Smart does not equal nerd. Be smart, but not a nerd. It’s easier than it sounds. I have a high iq but I don’t flaunt it, girls can tell if you’re smart without you telling them.
 

BillyPilgrim

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So the assumption is that a sharp man who reads and betters himself constantly is not sexually arousing?
The idea is to maximize your sex appeal. A sapiophile is somone who is sexually attracted to intelligence, and girls who embrace geek culture tend to be as well. If you're a bookish and smart guy who targets tatted MMA fangirls, then yes you might have problems.
 

Josh Davidson

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OP, are you an introvert or an extrovert?

Besides being a bright/bookish vs common sense person, introvert vs extrovert makes a huge difference in how you interact with women game wise.
I am an introvert.
 

Josh Davidson

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100 aproaches is good start. Try 1000 approaches then. Open with Hi Susan, you remember me from so so class? What? You are not Susan? You look like her, oh well, my name is.....

I did this once and the girl really did have that name and was a student and I frooze there in shock.
Ok. I'll try for 1000 approaches in 1 year. Thank you!
 

9-3enthusiast

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I am extremely book smart, how can I...
....use this to do better with women? (I have a bachelor's degree in business, and earned almost all A's throughout my time in school)
Hi Josh, I am also what many would consider 'book-smart' (in your words) - MPhys (hons) - 'Physics with Astrophysics'
The first in my family to go to University - Early 80s in UK, only the brightest got to attend university to study an academic subject (as opposed to vocational)

I can honestly say that apart from a couple of student g/fs while at Uni, my education has had very little effect on approaching.
The approach is mostly about presentation and confidence imho.
I suppose a good brain does help indirectly if you can carry a conversation - you come across as more interesting in the mid/long-term.
It does little to nothing for me as far as the initial opening goes though... but once I get them on a date... I'm usually golden.


The only times my specific field has directly helped, have been a few women who had a hippy/spiritual interest in stargazing.
Outside at night.... point out and name some stars and constellations... add in a bit of star-lore/mythology.... putty in my hands - LOL
Though I can count on my fingers the number of times that opportunity has come about.

TL-DR
Keep approaching - build confidence - and use your wit when you get a 'bite'
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

Read more...

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