Hypergamy stuffs…

[Cheeky_James]

thinking about this hypergamy stuff and in context to using dating apps.

So if women want to date up,
Then it would seem logical that theyd expect the man they like to be “looking down” right?
For him to have a superior attitude.
Is that a fair rationalisation?

And so if they match me on the app.
Would it be best for me to be lukewarm and slightly superior as a starting basis in the chat ?

like a attitude of “you’re not quite good enough for me , but I’ll give you a chance” kinda deal…

 

[Clockwerk50]

I wish I could help, but I’m not on the apps.

That said, it doesn’t matter what you do as long as the woman wants to play ball with you. It’s up to you whether you drop it or not.

 

[zekko]

thinking about this hypergamy stuff and in context to using dating apps.

So if women want to date up,
Then it would seem logical that theyd expect the man they like to be “looking down” right?
For him to have a superior attitude.
Is that a fair rationalisation?

I have no OLD experience, but for women in general, yes I think what you're saying is true.
This is why being overeager or falling in love too quickly can KILL attraction with women.
Don't be snobbish though.

I remember one woman telling me that she hated when guys got "googly eyes" over her. Honestly, I didn't understand it then, but it makes perfect sense now.

 

[BaronOfHair]

So if women want to date up,
Then it would seem logical that theyd expect the man they like to be “looking down” right?
For him to have a superior attitude.
Is that a fair rationalisation?

My observation:

It's advisable to not move through the world/look as if you're little more than a day laborer or a washed-up university athlete, even if you ARE such a creature at present. SOME might view this as "an air of superiority"

 

[UK manc]

I remember one woman telling me that she hated when guys got "googly eyes" over her. Honestly, I didn't understand it then, but it makes perfect sense now.

Ah so that's where I've been going wrong.

 

[BPH]

Would it be best for me to be lukewarm and slightly superior as a starting basis in the chat ?

No.

She has literally hundreds, if not thousands of matches messaging her if she's even remotely attractive.

Being nonchalant can work AFTER you've taken the conversation off the app and are in the stages of setting up the date, but if you're being difficult from the outset, she's just going to pick somebody else.

The example I like to point to is when my ex tried to show me a feature where you could leave a note to someone on Tinder if you swiped right and it wasn't a match. She could not show me the feature because every...single...guy...she swiped on was a match. She only had like 3-4k followers on Instagram, and dudes were sending her money, offering to fly her out, and sending her gifts.

Not all of those dudes are contenders, but if you open with friction, don't expect her to pursue you before you've given her a good reason.

 

[UK manc]

No.

She has literally hundreds, if not thousands of matches messaging her if she's even remotely attractive.

Being nonchalant can work AFTER you've taken the conversation off the app and are in the stages of setting up the date, but if you're being difficult from the outset, she's just going to pick somebody else.

The example I like to point to is when my ex tried to show me a feature where you could leave a note to someone on Tinder if you swiped right and it wasn't a match. She could not show me the feature because every...single...guy...she swiped on was a match. She only had like 3-4k followers on Instagram, and dudes were sending her money, offering to fly her out, and sending her gifts.

Not all of those dudes are contenders, but if you open with friction, don't expect her to pursue you before you've given her a good reason.

We're not really being sold these online apps!!

What a ****show...just get out in the real world before 3pm and approach sober. You're already in the 1% for doing that.

The vast vast majority of blokes have zero courage when off the booze and off the internet. (This may be a UK perspective so correct me if I'm wrong...)

 

[Cheeky_James]

No.

She has literally hundreds, if not thousands of matches messaging her if she's even remotely attractive.

Being nonchalant can work AFTER you've taken the conversation off the app and are in the stages of setting up the date, but if you're being difficult from the outset, she's just going to pick somebody else.

Hmm yes.this is true e the size of the demand .

BUT Given that demand.., wouldnt it be necessary to stand out tho?
You say opening with friction is a bad thing…
But it could well be the opposite - as it’s so different to the rest ..yknow?
I do find more ‘high stakes’ risky conversation does seems to drawn them in and keep them engaged.

Maybe ‘lukewarm’ was the wrong choice of word in my original post.
Maybe more like entitled. superior, and just assuming it’s a yes to bang me… Arrogant? entitled ? Idk…plus having mainly a sexual agenda and presupposing thats gonna happen.

I’m coming at it from the hookup /lover angle vs the dates /relationship angle btw…don’t want the latter.

if getting things done quickly is the best strategy
Then be logical extension I could just open with
“Hey X, cute bio let’s meet for a drink “
Straight off the bat as my opener….
And dump the convo altogether,..

I feel like some kind of ‘Dominance Display’ is necessary early on personally.

 

[Hal9000]

Odds are if she's pursuing you its because she already perceives you as being a catch. From there its up to you to keep making her feel that way. What exactly that looks like depends on the woman but you definitely shouldn't be too available, too eager, etc when dealing with her.

You want her to think you've got a lot going on and that you're debating whether you want her to be a part of it. If you just immediately drop your entire life to hang on her every word then her perception of you will absolutely change for the worse.

So I'd recommend being charming, funny, sexy, etc when chatting but never be needy or overly eager to please. It can be a delicate balance between a charming rouge or arrogant prick for some people but definitely try to land in the formers range, not the latter.

 

[Bigpapa]

thinking about this hypergamy stuff and in context to using dating apps.

So if women want to date up,
Then it would seem logical that theyd expect the man they like to be “looking down” right?
For him to have a superior attitude.
Is that a fair rationalisation?

And so if they match me on the app.
Would it be best for me to be lukewarm and slightly superior as a starting basis in the chat ?

like a attitude of “you’re not quite good enough for me , but I’ll give you a chance” kinda deal…

does not really work as you will make her auto reject if she is into you, and just ignore if she is meh about you

makes more sense to talk with her like you would talk to someone that you know for a long period of time and you are into her and you know she is into you

be advised though, a lot of women on apps are just there for attention so it is advisable to transition towards a date in maximum 10 exchanges

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

Pretty much everybody misunderstands "hypergamy."

Women don't "date up," they get the best man they can get.

This means they get the man with the highest earning potential, the best social skills, the best connections, etc.

Men do the same thing.

They get the best woman they can.

The youngest, prettiest, most feminine, etc.

It's only when you make the wrong assumption that women and men shop for relationship partners using the same criteria do you get terms like "dating up."

Everybody's shopping in the dating market trying to get the most return on their investment.

This isn't super secret red-pill matrix level understanding.

This is basic biology.

 

[BPH]

BUT Given that demand.., wouldnt it be necessary to stand out tho?

If you want to stand out, all you have to do is be normal.

I cannot tell you how many horror stories I've heard from women I've gone on dates with from these apps when I ask them about their experiences so far...

Guys are sending d*ck pics, asking for their CashApp/Venmo to send them money, having full conversations with themselves in her messages, showing up to dates and immediately asking if they're going to have sex - I met that one back in May who told me about how she was on a date with a guy and opened up about how she was single because her husband recently passed away, and he managed to get upset and make it about him.

Just be normal.

 

[itouchyou]

Pretty much everybody misunderstands "hypergamy."

Women don't "date up," they get the best man they can get.

This means they get the man with the highest earning potential, the best social skills, the best connections, etc.

Men do the same thing.

They get the best woman they can.

The youngest, prettiest, most feminine, etc.

It's only when you make the wrong assumption that women and men shop for relationship partners using the same criteria do you get terms like "dating up."

Everybody's shopping in the dating market trying to get the most return on their investment.

This isn't super secret red-pill matrix level understanding.

This is basic biology.

You're part of that "everyone" you speak of.

Hypergamy isn't money, social skills, or connections. There's red pill, then there's levels of red pill. You're at the lowest level of red pill.

Hypergamy is only tied to belief. You can take an absolute loser and give him money, some level of social skill, and connections, but if his innate belief in his own value isn't there, it will show in his communication. For women, communication is EVERYTHING. 87% of all communication is nonverbal.

If some guy just gets rich, gets a lot of friends, and learns "game" but has no real inner work and understanding of himself, no woman will see him as high value.






Simply put, hypergamy is at it's core, a man's belief of himself relative to the woman he's with. This is why women date ugly men, broke men, losers, etc. Because the women subconsciously see the man as above them. These men are so rock solid in their mind that they don't fall for women's tests. They don't show high interest. They're completely indifferent. They don't try to impress. All of this communicates value far more than anything external. This shows in their facial expressions. It shows in their eye contact. It shows in their body language. It shows in their tone of voice. It shows in how they text. It shows in how they make plans. It shows in how they react to things that women do. None of this can be fixed via "money, status, looks". Once a woman finally understands what the man is, none of that **** matters.

You cannot fake self belief and your perception of yourself. Women will sniff that falseness like a dog sniffing for drugs. That's why dating is hopeless for a lot of men, because men think if they just look good, get money, and learn "game" they'll get the women they want. Woman are onto that bull****. The west has literally neutered the masculinity out of most men and women feel that.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Women don't "date up," they get the best man they can get.

Taiyuu
I like your postings - but there is just too much splitting of hairs on this forum
That’s basically the same goddamn thing!

I think black pillers having it right tbh.
When they say women primiarily first screen on genetics /Looks. (Especially the younger women) Because it is biology that is the driver for them, yes. to have the best looking and fittest children.

Hence the clamour over Jeremy Meeks the male model looking criminal.

and these days they have their own money (resources) to raise the kids themselves.

sigh.
So if a guy (such as myself ) has some good looks he’s probably better off being a bit arrogant . Because that’s what is expected by the woman.

I’ve heard from many women the mantra “hot guys are jerks “ …yet women fVck them anyway. lol.
Maybe they sigh and roll eyes, but they still go ahead and fvck these guys.

plus, isnt the plot of most romance novels -the hot guy , who is lukewarm to her , and she wins him over..an tames him, fixes him etc

I think there’s plenty of evidence to support

maybe if I’m too nice - it’s confusing for them?
As I am not acting as expected?
“Oh oh, that’s weird he’s not being an assertive jerk , but he’s good looking? He’s probably a mommy’s boy, hmmm red flag , don’t want that…”
Yknow?

maybe this is purple pill I’m outlining- somewhere between red and black pill ..idk.

@BPH -“just be normal” is about as vague advice as it gets sorry man. There’s no such thing as normal tbh. It’s too vague a term.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Most women delude themselves into believing the man that willingly will fvck them with no commitment is the same level of man that will offer them a committed LTR, and that's why so many keep getting pumped and dumped.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Most women delude themselves into believing the man that willingly will fvck them with no commitment is the same level of man that will offer them a committed LTR, and that's why so many keep getting pumped and dumped.

I don’t think they are that deluded tbh , they just love good looking men and happy to sleep w them easily. And figure there’s possibly a small chance of a relationship also. A slim chance.
At least in their early 20s… in their 30s there’s probably much more cases of hardcore delusion .

 

[Bigpapa]

I think black pillers having it right tbh.
When they say women primiarily first screen on genetics /Looks. Because it is biology that is the driver for them, yes. to have the best looking and fittest children.

Yes, they are right till a degree

the problem with the black pill is that they go to the extreme

firstly by comparing themselves to the 1% of males and thinking that they don’t get the results because they are not looking like prime Brad Pitt or some other super top tier guy

Secondly, by putting all the emphasis on looks

looks is important as it puts the foot in the door, but does not get you through the door alone

Most guys date women way bellow their looks, and is a reason for that

to be fair, if you are a 7/8 in looks is more that enough to score even real 10s if you have also good skills . So after a certain amount, it kinda becomes irrelevant if you are an 7,8 9 or a 10

 

[Cheeky_James]

Yes, they are right till a degree

the problem with the black pill is that they go to the extreme

firstly by comparing themselves to the 1% of males and thinking that they don’t get the results because they are not looking like prime Brad Pitt or some other super top tier guy

Secondly, by putting all the emphasis on looks

looks is important as it puts the foot in the door, but does not get you through the door alone

Most guys date women way bellow their looks, and is a reason for that

to be fair, if you are a 7/8 in looks is more that enough to score even real 10s if you have also good skills . So after a certain amount, it kinda becomes irrelevant if you are an 7,8 9 or a 10

hmmm - I’d agree w everything except the bolded bit. I think 9&10s are just out of my league.
Unless I somehow get mad cash & status to boost myself into that league.

the Blackpillers are mostly right but obsessed with and full of anxiety about Chad and women’s “ChadLust”
They reckon if a normie guy betabuxxes and gets w a decent girl late in life , the woman will always still be thinking of past Chads ..forever, or will cheat easily ..which is kinda rediculous,

 

[Bigpapa]

hmmm - I’d agree w everything except the bolded bit. I think 9&10s are just out of my league.

if you are at least a 7 in looks, I would say the biggest problem in getting the 9s and 10s is the proximity to them

you rarely see them on the street or in public transport, as they usually take the cab or something similar

you usually find them in the high end places

usually if you are in the same spot with them and are calibrated , you have enough social proof to be successful

another issue with truly quality girls is that they are rarely single, so most of the approaches usually are not successful because of that

also, something interesting about pua was braking the skill into 2 parts, inner game and outer game

inner game is very important as it is mainly about self - worth. If your inner game is weak ( as it is usually the case with black or red pillers ) , you will rarely score a qualitative girls no matter how good looking you are

 

[Cheeky_James]

if you are at least a 7 in looks, I would say the biggest problem in getting the 9s and 10s is the proximity to them

you rarely see them on the street or in public transport, as they usually take the cab or something similar

you usually find them in the high end places

usually if you are in the same spot with them and are calibrated , you have enough social proof to be successful

could agree on this . Getting that proximity to them firstly is indeed the hard part.
I was in a supermarket with 2 yesterday , but in that setting , tbh it’s gonna be very hard to approach them and get anywhere. It’s a kamikaze mission tbh.

another issue with truly quality girls is that they are rarely single, so most of the approaches usually are not successful because of that

Yes. They are already taken ..by Hot Dudes

also, something interesting about pua was braking the skill into 2 parts, inner game and outer game

inner game is very important as it is mainly about self - worth. If your inner game is weak ( as it is usually the case with black or red pillers ) , you will rarely score a qualitative girls no matter how good looking you are

Yes it was useful to have 2 parts to a degree inner&outer. But really, the outer is crucial. The inner is focused on too much! It’s overhyped how far it inner game /mindset can take a guy. There’s a big risk of delusional thinking.

Re the blackpillers - the core of that community, the real BPs are sub5 smv guys. Short, ugly , balding etc … I feel sorry for em because they are correct in that theyre pretty much fvcked. “It’s over, it never began “ etc they say.
yeah. its true. for them.
The best inner game won’t help them , and they know that….best they can do is money maxx and betabuxxdeluxe and be happy w that.But they reject even that.
Nor do they want to mess w a sub5 chick, (beggars can’t be choosers wtf?)
Or escortmaxx , GeoMaxx. If they can afford.
But the majority cannot afford,
It’s pretty much over for em. Poor b@stards.