"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
How was everyone raised on here?
- Thread starter Lookatu
- Start date
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
deadmasterx
Senior Don Juan
My parents were together until I was 8. My father wasn't the best on looks, overweight, but he had this aura of someone you simply can't mess up with. He cheated on my mom multiple times over the course of their 20 years of marriage. In the end, she found out (for the first time), but it was too late to save the marriage. My father himself didn't want to get back (my mother was willing to forgive him).
So I went to live with my mother. I remember being used as ammo for her to attack him in any way she could possibly do. I don't really remember my father using me to attack my mother in any way (if he did, he problably threatened HER, not used me to say the word), I actually remember him telling me to respect her, and if he catch me mistreating her he'd beat my ass.
I honestly didn't grow up in a "female environment" because my mother had two jobs to raise me. I was always outside, playing football, or in school. I was a good kid, but looking back it's always because I wanted to be the extreme opposite of my brother (who was a troublemaker).
I grew up having no confidence because I was fat (I still am, in some way, but with way more muscles and confidence). My mother is this ultra-protective kind. She did her best to raise me (besides the awful **** she did that I already mentioned) and is still always trying to take control of my life in some way. After I got 18, I just started ignoring.
The first thing I did when I turned 18 was buying a tent, sleeping bag, a plane ticket to the south and do my backpacking trip, taking rides with truck drivers, sleeping in gas stations. Never felt so good. I think that after that point she realized that I was following my own way, no matter what she thinks. Then I joined the Army, once again against her approval (it can sound like a "rebel" thing to do, but both of these were things that I was always dreaming about doing, I just waited until I could legally respond for myself to do them).
If I can summarize, my childhood was ok. I had excellent grades at school, wasn't a bad kid. The bad part was the divorce and being used as ammo by my mother to hurt my father in any way she could. Because I that I remember growing up hating my mother most times, especially when I was 10-15. After my father died, when I was 16, I just became indifferent. Started doing my things, not paying much attention to her, and in response she did the same, became more docile.
So I went to live with my mother. I remember being used as ammo for her to attack him in any way she could possibly do. I don't really remember my father using me to attack my mother in any way (if he did, he problably threatened HER, not used me to say the word), I actually remember him telling me to respect her, and if he catch me mistreating her he'd beat my ass.
I honestly didn't grow up in a "female environment" because my mother had two jobs to raise me. I was always outside, playing football, or in school. I was a good kid, but looking back it's always because I wanted to be the extreme opposite of my brother (who was a troublemaker).
I grew up having no confidence because I was fat (I still am, in some way, but with way more muscles and confidence). My mother is this ultra-protective kind. She did her best to raise me (besides the awful **** she did that I already mentioned) and is still always trying to take control of my life in some way. After I got 18, I just started ignoring.
The first thing I did when I turned 18 was buying a tent, sleeping bag, a plane ticket to the south and do my backpacking trip, taking rides with truck drivers, sleeping in gas stations. Never felt so good. I think that after that point she realized that I was following my own way, no matter what she thinks. Then I joined the Army, once again against her approval (it can sound like a "rebel" thing to do, but both of these were things that I was always dreaming about doing, I just waited until I could legally respond for myself to do them).
If I can summarize, my childhood was ok. I had excellent grades at school, wasn't a bad kid. The bad part was the divorce and being used as ammo by my mother to hurt my father in any way she could. Because I that I remember growing up hating my mother most times, especially when I was 10-15. After my father died, when I was 16, I just became indifferent. Started doing my things, not paying much attention to her, and in response she did the same, became more docile.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
Raised by my Grandfather who had been recently widowed. Dad was an alcoholic Vietnam vet: Mom was a drugged out hippy. They both eventually got the sh1t together and I moved back in with them when I was in high school. It was a miserable fvcking marriage, but it lasted for almost 60 years, but otherwise a reasonably normal lower-middle class lifestyle.
SW15
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- May 31, 2020
- Messages
- 15,423
- Reaction score
- 12,522
Parents were together until I was in high school, though it was always an uncomfortable dynamic. It was the classic square peg in a round hole situation. It lasted far too long. Finished high school with a single mom who didn't date while I was finishing high school but dated and re-married after I entered college.
Father worked a lot and didn't spend enough time with me.
Although I think they meant well, they were unskilled parents in some crucial ways. How could they be skilled parents when their own relationship didn't make a lot of sense?
Father worked a lot and didn't spend enough time with me.
Although I think they meant well, they were unskilled parents in some crucial ways. How could they be skilled parents when their own relationship didn't make a lot of sense?
GreatHornedOwl
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- May 11, 2010
- Messages
- 382
- Reaction score
- 313
- Age
- 43
Parents divorced when I was 9. Mom was a little nuts, Dad was an alpha male.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
metalwater
Master Don Juan
lower. lower... lower.... middle class. nothing special.
- Parents rich in home country. Lost all money in a revolution. Moved to the West.
- One year in, major recession in the West. Dad lost job. No money. Lived in poor area of town.
- Massive physical and emotional abuse in the home.
- Junior High dance had dust thrown in my face, almost blinded. Had a knife brought to school to stab me.
- Mother threatened suicide several times. Attempted once.
- Brother died by suicide. Jumped off 21 floor. Wife quickly sold all his property and stocks. Got married and pregnant with someone else.
- My company sued for $21,000,0000 on a frivolous lawsuit, settled for $150,000
- Ex-girlfriend recorded me on phone to take me the court and sue for $55,000,000.
As Notorious BIG would say “And it’s all good!”
- One year in, major recession in the West. Dad lost job. No money. Lived in poor area of town.
- Massive physical and emotional abuse in the home.
- Junior High dance had dust thrown in my face, almost blinded. Had a knife brought to school to stab me.
- Mother threatened suicide several times. Attempted once.
- Brother died by suicide. Jumped off 21 floor. Wife quickly sold all his property and stocks. Got married and pregnant with someone else.
- My company sued for $21,000,0000 on a frivolous lawsuit, settled for $150,000
- Ex-girlfriend recorded me on phone to take me the court and sue for $55,000,000.
As Notorious BIG would say “And it’s all good!”
Mister_Skinny_Jeanz
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2020
- Messages
- 520
- Reaction score
- 426
- Age
- 33
single mother household, grandmother helpin out
Mister_Skinny_Jeanz
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2020
- Messages
- 520
- Reaction score
- 426
- Age
- 33
ever been to Riverside,CA
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
As a young child, I kept trying to talk my parents into divorcing, but they never listened, and insisted on constant ww3 fights. They finally divorced about 15 years ago, and have been happier ever since.
sph21
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2013
- Messages
- 280
- Reaction score
- 180
It was hard for me.
My father and mother wasn't around mentally. They were busy making money. This condition turned me to be socially awkward and shy.
As I entered 6th grade of elementary school, my sister was borned. My father wanted a daughter for a long time and now he got what he wanted. This made me jealous of her. Years before she was borned, he was so harsh with his words to me and my younger brother. When she was borned, he was getting soft and almost never scolded her.
This was the times where my parents were burdened by their brothers and sisters and paid for their educations. They're Christians so doing good for others is what God wants from them.
It turned out badly for my father. His brothers did not return what he did with kindness. They turned hostile to our family.
As I entered middle school, my uncle and his family moved out to our house, which was still our grandmother's house.
My father was too kind and built him a place so he could have a shop.
After a year, he turned hostile to our family. Almost everyday they argue telling ill of others. It went on for years.
When I was in middle school, I had to go to my school by riding my bicycle. The road was so bad. So many gravels. When raining, it turned into a muddy road. It's located in a village way above where I live.
As I entered 3nd grade of middle school, my father decided to relocate my younger brother and my little sister's school to downtown. This decision made me hate my father even more. Since elementary school, he always hates me and blamed me for almost everything because I'm his first child. My jealousy grew even bigger and made my self-esteem and my self-confidence even lower.
Next, I was accepted to a suburb high school while my younger brother got accepted at a number one high school in our town. This made him even more proud with my brother and less proud of me.
A few years later when my sister wanted to enter a high school, she demanded that she wants to go to a respectable private school in a big city. And my father granted her wish.
My father usually looks down on me for whatever I do and done. He is a type of person who wants to be perceived as wise while he doesn't want to understand another's point of view. Always blaming his family for trivial matter. When he advicing others, he's not like that.
My childhood is hellish. I was too shy and inept at almost everything. I was full of rage and vengeful.
After high school, I tried to attempt suicide twice.
Recovering from those experiences and upbringing took me years.
My father and mother wasn't around mentally. They were busy making money. This condition turned me to be socially awkward and shy.
As I entered 6th grade of elementary school, my sister was borned. My father wanted a daughter for a long time and now he got what he wanted. This made me jealous of her. Years before she was borned, he was so harsh with his words to me and my younger brother. When she was borned, he was getting soft and almost never scolded her.
This was the times where my parents were burdened by their brothers and sisters and paid for their educations. They're Christians so doing good for others is what God wants from them.
It turned out badly for my father. His brothers did not return what he did with kindness. They turned hostile to our family.
As I entered middle school, my uncle and his family moved out to our house, which was still our grandmother's house.
My father was too kind and built him a place so he could have a shop.
After a year, he turned hostile to our family. Almost everyday they argue telling ill of others. It went on for years.
When I was in middle school, I had to go to my school by riding my bicycle. The road was so bad. So many gravels. When raining, it turned into a muddy road. It's located in a village way above where I live.
As I entered 3nd grade of middle school, my father decided to relocate my younger brother and my little sister's school to downtown. This decision made me hate my father even more. Since elementary school, he always hates me and blamed me for almost everything because I'm his first child. My jealousy grew even bigger and made my self-esteem and my self-confidence even lower.
Next, I was accepted to a suburb high school while my younger brother got accepted at a number one high school in our town. This made him even more proud with my brother and less proud of me.
A few years later when my sister wanted to enter a high school, she demanded that she wants to go to a respectable private school in a big city. And my father granted her wish.
My father usually looks down on me for whatever I do and done. He is a type of person who wants to be perceived as wise while he doesn't want to understand another's point of view. Always blaming his family for trivial matter. When he advicing others, he's not like that.
My childhood is hellish. I was too shy and inept at almost everything. I was full of rage and vengeful.
After high school, I tried to attempt suicide twice.
Recovering from those experiences and upbringing took me years.
Black Widow Void
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2010
- Messages
- 2,153
- Reaction score
- 3,796
Probably about seven or eight years ago, this question was raised. No surprise that most of us here (self included) were raised in some type of a dysfunctional environment.
Although 'successful' (mother - psychologist / father - VP of sales in an oil company for the south region... turned property developer) they were both quite phucked up. I would have gladly traded places with others that, maybe not as well off, but grew up in a more status-quo environment. Fortunately, during my formative years (around age four) I'd seen enough loving families to realize that it was 'them" and not "me."
There's no denying that this still had some impact on me (only child, they divorced when I was two... and many years later my father committed suicide) . However, my looks seemed to get me by fairly well (actually quite well) . Around 30, my 'boyish charm' and looks weren't working as well. It was then than I had to do the hard work and look within ie; clean up some of my own damages and 'reinvent' myself. I could no longer rely solely on my looks and had to focus/emphasize other areas considered by women as attractive.
A lot of my friends (that grew up in similar situations) unfortunately didn't do as well. Unlike my peers, I did more reading, thinking and applying introspection rather than self-medicating (though I enjoyed this too).
Although 'successful' (mother - psychologist / father - VP of sales in an oil company for the south region... turned property developer) they were both quite phucked up. I would have gladly traded places with others that, maybe not as well off, but grew up in a more status-quo environment. Fortunately, during my formative years (around age four) I'd seen enough loving families to realize that it was 'them" and not "me."
There's no denying that this still had some impact on me (only child, they divorced when I was two... and many years later my father committed suicide) . However, my looks seemed to get me by fairly well (actually quite well) . Around 30, my 'boyish charm' and looks weren't working as well. It was then than I had to do the hard work and look within ie; clean up some of my own damages and 'reinvent' myself. I could no longer rely solely on my looks and had to focus/emphasize other areas considered by women as attractive.
A lot of my friends (that grew up in similar situations) unfortunately didn't do as well. Unlike my peers, I did more reading, thinking and applying introspection rather than self-medicating (though I enjoyed this too).
Baibars
Master Don Juan
Parents had an arranged marriage. Both traditional conservative and very religious. Father is a hard worker and has positive sides but was extremely abusive against my mom and us. My mom never left because of us. Father was not beta in every aspect but he was very easy to provoke from mum. He had no frame and he punished everyone for little things.
I'm the youngest brother of 3 and have one younger sister. Had much pressure from my father and my older brothers so i grew up very beta and with low self esteem.
I grew up with traditional values and i always accepted that a man has to be tough and competent but i didn't really apply it.
I'm the youngest brother of 3 and have one younger sister. Had much pressure from my father and my older brothers so i grew up very beta and with low self esteem.
I grew up with traditional values and i always accepted that a man has to be tough and competent but i didn't really apply it.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
This thread is the best one on here. I love all you guys who grew up in a fvcked up home like me.
Grinderman
Banned
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2021
- Messages
- 280
- Reaction score
- 301
Ah this is where you learned game from...
Grinderman
Banned
- Joined
- Feb 13, 2021
- Messages
- 280
- Reaction score
- 301
We are all a little narcissist my man. I would view narcissism as a scale. We are all somewhere on that scale. The further along the scale is the less empathy has been developed. If one would want to curtail narcissism (you already know where uncontrolled narcissism can lead) one should consider developing more pronounced empathy. Raise empathy, lower narcissism.
Only child from the same marriage, grew up alone in a farm, still am alone in a farm, which led me to be horrible in social situations (but I'm an hell of a public speaker), never had the opportunity to bring a friend home to play with because my dad is an antisocial guy, he never liked being connected with his family, never spoke to me about anything (not even good mornings), very alcoholic but always put food on the table.
Through the teenage years I was a skinny weird geek and when the first pump of testosterone came in and I saw that I could not get girl's I got frustrated, even tho I approached like crazy in school I was always shot down, this led me to be insecure. At 16 I did a tryout for the local american football team, I did not thought I would pass because I was a noodle arms geek fvck, but I did.
I got the opportunity to be around strong men and be introduced to a male only environment of growth and performance, this changed me completely. There was ups and downs, by the end I was one of the best DBs of my team and got some awards, broke my arm really bad, stayed 6 months without any physical activities but got back and got stronger.
When I got approved to a scholarship in a law degree I dropped american football but the mindset of performance came with me, I was a kissless virgin at 17 and wanted to change my life, ever since I'm striving to be better than I was the day before, this led me to want to know how to get girls, and as my father did not give me advice I went to the internet to figure it out, found redpill and the rest is story.
Through the teenage years I was a skinny weird geek and when the first pump of testosterone came in and I saw that I could not get girl's I got frustrated, even tho I approached like crazy in school I was always shot down, this led me to be insecure. At 16 I did a tryout for the local american football team, I did not thought I would pass because I was a noodle arms geek fvck, but I did.
I got the opportunity to be around strong men and be introduced to a male only environment of growth and performance, this changed me completely. There was ups and downs, by the end I was one of the best DBs of my team and got some awards, broke my arm really bad, stayed 6 months without any physical activities but got back and got stronger.
When I got approved to a scholarship in a law degree I dropped american football but the mindset of performance came with me, I was a kissless virgin at 17 and wanted to change my life, ever since I'm striving to be better than I was the day before, this led me to want to know how to get girls, and as my father did not give me advice I went to the internet to figure it out, found redpill and the rest is story.
FuzzX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 22, 2021
- Messages
- 633
- Reaction score
- 385
- Age
- 46
Count your blessings you're on a farm. Living in the city sucks right now, can't walk around, can't drive without a significant fine. No homeless idiots or rioters. I'd love to be on the farm right now. City living is bs. Get some VR, you can be anywhere you want from the privacy of your bedroom.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.