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How was everyone raised on here?

How was everyone raised on here?

  • A normal traditional family

    Votes: 17 47.2%
  • 2 parent household w/weak beta father

    Votes: 9 25.0%
  • Single mother

    Votes: 10 27.8%
  • Other (adopted, deceased, aunt/uncle, relative)

    Votes: 2 5.6%

  • Total voters
    36

Lookatu

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2017
Messages
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49
There seems to be a lot of advice and people living their lives on different tracks here. Just trying to see what kind of make up SS has from various family structures.
 

deadmasterx

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Mar 23, 2020
Messages
264
Reaction score
345
Location
Brazil
My parents were together until I was 8. My father wasn't the best on looks, overweight, but he had this aura of someone you simply can't mess up with. He cheated on my mom multiple times over the course of their 20 years of marriage. In the end, she found out (for the first time), but it was too late to save the marriage. My father himself didn't want to get back (my mother was willing to forgive him).

So I went to live with my mother. I remember being used as ammo for her to attack him in any way she could possibly do. I don't really remember my father using me to attack my mother in any way (if he did, he problably threatened HER, not used me to say the word), I actually remember him telling me to respect her, and if he catch me mistreating her he'd beat my ass.

I honestly didn't grow up in a "female environment" because my mother had two jobs to raise me. I was always outside, playing football, or in school. I was a good kid, but looking back it's always because I wanted to be the extreme opposite of my brother (who was a troublemaker).

I grew up having no confidence because I was fat (I still am, in some way, but with way more muscles and confidence). My mother is this ultra-protective kind. She did her best to raise me (besides the awful **** she did that I already mentioned) and is still always trying to take control of my life in some way. After I got 18, I just started ignoring.

The first thing I did when I turned 18 was buying a tent, sleeping bag, a plane ticket to the south and do my backpacking trip, taking rides with truck drivers, sleeping in gas stations. Never felt so good. I think that after that point she realized that I was following my own way, no matter what she thinks. Then I joined the Army, once again against her approval (it can sound like a "rebel" thing to do, but both of these were things that I was always dreaming about doing, I just waited until I could legally respond for myself to do them).

If I can summarize, my childhood was ok. I had excellent grades at school, wasn't a bad kid. The bad part was the divorce and being used as ammo by my mother to hurt my father in any way she could. Because I that I remember growing up hating my mother most times, especially when I was 10-15. After my father died, when I was 16, I just became indifferent. Started doing my things, not paying much attention to her, and in response she did the same, became more docile.
 

RangerMIke

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 23, 2014
Messages
4,298
Reaction score
6,613
Location
USA, Louisiana
Raised by my Grandfather who had been recently widowed. Dad was an alcoholic Vietnam vet: Mom was a drugged out hippy. They both eventually got the sh1t together and I moved back in with them when I was in high school. It was a miserable fvcking marriage, but it lasted for almost 60 years, but otherwise a reasonably normal lower-middle class lifestyle.
 

SW15

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 31, 2020
Messages
6,133
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5,504
Parents were together until I was in high school, though it was always an uncomfortable dynamic. It was the classic square peg in a round hole situation. It lasted far too long. Finished high school with a single mom who didn't date while I was finishing high school but dated and re-married after I entered college.

Father worked a lot and didn't spend enough time with me.

Although I think they meant well, they were unskilled parents in some crucial ways. How could they be skilled parents when their own relationship didn't make a lot of sense?
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 4, 2016
Messages
10,570
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10,315
Age
37
Religious family, beta (but very,very angry) dad. They didnt really want me dating and wanted me focused on school, so I had no clue about women or dating other than that they were somehow morally superior (from religion).
 

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metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,749
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1,426
Location
random
lower. lower... lower.... middle class. nothing special.
 

BadBoy89

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 18, 2020
Messages
965
Reaction score
1,190
- Parents rich in home country. Lost all money in a revolution. Moved to the West.
- One year in, major recession in the West. Dad lost job. No money. Lived in poor area of town.
- Massive physical and emotional abuse in the home.
- Junior High dance had dust thrown in my face, almost blinded. Had a knife brought to school to stab me.
- Mother threatened suicide several times. Attempted once.
- Brother died by suicide. Jumped off 21 floor. Wife quickly sold all his property and stocks. Got married and pregnant with someone else.
- My company sued for $21,000,0000 on a frivolous lawsuit, settled for $150,000
- Ex-girlfriend recorded me on phone to take me the court and sue for $55,000,000.

As Notorious BIG would say “And it’s all good!”
 

Bible_Belt

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 27, 2005
Messages
16,592
Reaction score
5,062
Age
46
Location
midwestern cow field 40
As a young child, I kept trying to talk my parents into divorcing, but they never listened, and insisted on constant ww3 fights. They finally divorced about 15 years ago, and have been happier ever since.
 

sph21

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 27, 2013
Messages
276
Reaction score
174
Age
40
It was hard for me.

My father and mother wasn't around mentally. They were busy making money. This condition turned me to be socially awkward and shy.

As I entered 6th grade of elementary school, my sister was borned. My father wanted a daughter for a long time and now he got what he wanted. This made me jealous of her. Years before she was borned, he was so harsh with his words to me and my younger brother. When she was borned, he was getting soft and almost never scolded her.

This was the times where my parents were burdened by their brothers and sisters and paid for their educations. They're Christians so doing good for others is what God wants from them.

It turned out badly for my father. His brothers did not return what he did with kindness. They turned hostile to our family.

As I entered middle school, my uncle and his family moved out to our house, which was still our grandmother's house.

My father was too kind and built him a place so he could have a shop.

After a year, he turned hostile to our family. Almost everyday they argue telling ill of others. It went on for years.

When I was in middle school, I had to go to my school by riding my bicycle. The road was so bad. So many gravels. When raining, it turned into a muddy road. It's located in a village way above where I live.

As I entered 3nd grade of middle school, my father decided to relocate my younger brother and my little sister's school to downtown. This decision made me hate my father even more. Since elementary school, he always hates me and blamed me for almost everything because I'm his first child. My jealousy grew even bigger and made my self-esteem and my self-confidence even lower.

Next, I was accepted to a suburb high school while my younger brother got accepted at a number one high school in our town. This made him even more proud with my brother and less proud of me.

A few years later when my sister wanted to enter a high school, she demanded that she wants to go to a respectable private school in a big city. And my father granted her wish.

My father usually looks down on me for whatever I do and done. He is a type of person who wants to be perceived as wise while he doesn't want to understand another's point of view. Always blaming his family for trivial matter. When he advicing others, he's not like that.

My childhood is hellish. I was too shy and inept at almost everything. I was full of rage and vengeful.

After high school, I tried to attempt suicide twice.

Recovering from those experiences and upbringing took me years.
 

Black Widow Void

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 24, 2010
Messages
1,976
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3,388
Probably about seven or eight years ago, this question was raised. No surprise that most of us here (self included) were raised in some type of a dysfunctional environment.

Although 'successful' (mother - psychologist / father - VP of sales in an oil company for the south region... turned property developer) they were both quite phucked up. I would have gladly traded places with others that, maybe not as well off, but grew up in a more status-quo environment. Fortunately, during my formative years (around age four) I'd seen enough loving families to realize that it was 'them" and not "me."

There's no denying that this still had some impact on me (only child, they divorced when I was two... and many years later my father committed suicide) . However, my looks seemed to get me by fairly well (actually quite well) . Around 30, my 'boyish charm' and looks weren't working as well. It was then than I had to do the hard work and look within ie; clean up some of my own damages and 'reinvent' myself. I could no longer rely solely on my looks and had to focus/emphasize other areas considered by women as attractive.

A lot of my friends (that grew up in similar situations) unfortunately didn't do as well. Unlike my peers, I did more reading, thinking and applying introspection rather than self-medicating (though I enjoyed this too).
 

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Baibars

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Jan 14, 2020
Messages
392
Reaction score
401
Age
28
Parents had an arranged marriage. Both traditional conservative and very religious. Father is a hard worker and has positive sides but was extremely abusive against my mom and us. My mom never left because of us. Father was not beta in every aspect but he was very easy to provoke from mum. He had no frame and he punished everyone for little things.
I'm the youngest brother of 3 and have one younger sister. Had much pressure from my father and my older brothers so i grew up very beta and with low self esteem.
I grew up with traditional values and i always accepted that a man has to be tough and competent but i didn't really apply it.
 

Grinderman

Banned
Joined
Feb 13, 2021
Messages
285
Reaction score
307
Dad's a Narcissist, Mom's a Narcissist, Brother was a Narcissist, bet I am too.
We are all a little narcissist my man. I would view narcissism as a scale. We are all somewhere on that scale. The further along the scale is the less empathy has been developed. If one would want to curtail narcissism (you already know where uncontrolled narcissism can lead) one should consider developing more pronounced empathy. Raise empathy, lower narcissism.
 

deBrito

Don Juan
Joined
Jun 22, 2020
Messages
123
Reaction score
106
Age
21
Location
Brazil
Only child from the same marriage, grew up alone in a farm, still am alone in a farm, which led me to be horrible in social situations (but I'm an hell of a public speaker), never had the opportunity to bring a friend home to play with because my dad is an antisocial guy, he never liked being connected with his family, never spoke to me about anything (not even good mornings), very alcoholic but always put food on the table.

Through the teenage years I was a skinny weird geek and when the first pump of testosterone came in and I saw that I could not get girl's I got frustrated, even tho I approached like crazy in school I was always shot down, this led me to be insecure. At 16 I did a tryout for the local american football team, I did not thought I would pass because I was a noodle arms geek fvck, but I did.

I got the opportunity to be around strong men and be introduced to a male only environment of growth and performance, this changed me completely. There was ups and downs, by the end I was one of the best DBs of my team and got some awards, broke my arm really bad, stayed 6 months without any physical activities but got back and got stronger.

When I got approved to a scholarship in a law degree I dropped american football but the mindset of performance came with me, I was a kissless virgin at 17 and wanted to change my life, ever since I'm striving to be better than I was the day before, this led me to want to know how to get girls, and as my father did not give me advice I went to the internet to figure it out, found redpill and the rest is story.
 
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